Day #44 - Birthday Girl

Today is one of my daughter's birthdays; she turned 10 today, a full decade old.  Her age reminds me of just how quickly time can escape us...

My oldest daughter will be twelve this year.  I can remember when I first found out my wife was pregnant.  I remember thinking about how things would have to change because now I would have a family to worry about.  I remember thinking about how I was going to change my way; quit smoking, lose weight, and get in shape.  I remember how it was imperative that I succeed.

I remember 10 years ago when my second daughter was born.  I remember how I felt guilty that I still hadn't lost weight.  By then I had actually quit smoking and managed to stay quit for almost 5 years, but I was still far from healthy.  When daughter #2 was born I decided that I was going to change my life and finally lose the weight.

When my third daughter was born 18 months later all bets were off.  Life was incredibly crazy; we had just moved to NY a year earlier and I was depressed with living back up north.  Everything was changing so quickly and it seemed like there was never any time to focus on healthy living...

That was about 9 years ago and here I am now still in the same boat.  Over those years there were several attempts to get on track with varying degrees of short term success.  All during that time I always thought I still had plenty of time to fix things before I got too old and then it would get much harder to do.  In a blink of an eye I now find myself at 42, and yes, it's harder now.

For starters, age just plain slows you down. My metabolism is lower and I definitely feel the effects of carrying all the extra weight over the years.  In addition to the effects of old age, it's harder now because I have even less time.  When the kids were little you had to constantly keep an eye on them.  I remember thinking that it would be easier when they got older, but now that they are there's soccer practice and gymnastics and battle of the books and on and on and on!

Yes it's my daughter's birthday today and that has me reflecting on my last 10 years.  If I could have them back I would like to think I would do things differently, but I can't have them back so I have to accept myself for who I am right now.  However, what I can do is ask myself this question..."When I turn 52 and my kids are all adults, will I look back over the last 10 years with regret, or will I remember 2015 as the year that I started to change?"

44 Days down and many more to go, but for now I'm just going to focus on Day 45.

Stay Strong!