Day #81 - Being Honest with Myself

I often go back and read my previous day's post the next day.  It might sound weird, but I often do it to see if I still feel the same way today as I did when I wrote it.  I looked at yesterday's post and my first thought was "Maybe I was little hard on myself yesterday". 

I thought about it for a moment and then decided, I wasn't hard on myself, I was just being honest with myself.  that's something I've missed in the past.  It's amazing how we can delude ourselves into thinking just about anything.

I need to have some more honest conversations with myself.  As I continue to "wake up" from a long dream (or nightmare would probably be the better word) I'm beginning to see where I've managed to fool myself into a lot of things.

What makes this whole process interesting is that some of these "delusions" can actually start to become core beliefs.  For instance, I have this belief that I do not have time to exercise; that somehow, my schedule is unique and that I somehow busier than everyone else in the world.  You might laugh at this and if you and I were talking about it, I would probably say that I don't really believe that, but at my core I do because I can't figure out how to fit exercise in.  Since I can't figure out how, it must be impossible.

Beliefs are hard to break, you can't just tell yourself that you believe something else and it becomes so.  True change in a belief requires consistent proof.  In this case I need to find a way to fit in exercise and prove it to myself before I can truly believe it.

My toughest core belief to change will be about my ability to lose weight.  When I look deep inside I know I don't yet truly believe I'm capable of losing weight yet; I don't believe I will be successful.  In fact, there's a part of me that wonders if I believe that I don't deserve to lose weight.  I wonder why I would feel that way?

I push forward searching for that belief that I can complete this journey and be successful.  In order to do that I need to continue to be honest with myself.

Stay Strong!