There are times when I read other blogs and get inspired about things. I love to see different points of view as it helps me to expand my own knowledge and sometimes helps break through my perceptions. However, there are also times when I read other blogs and I just shake my head. Some are full of excuses, others have rationales as to why things aren't going well.
So what do I do when I read someone making excuses or I think they are being full of it? Usually, I roll my eyes and then move on. Sometimes I offer some encouragement, but very rarely do I call that person out. I used to, but then I started to see just how defensive people get.
Now I'm not claiming to be perfect and I can make excuses like the best of them. However, if you go through all my blog post comments, you will rarely find one that calls me out. You'll see a lot of platitudes and you'll see lots of encouragement, but when did we all stop calling a spade a spade? Are we really helping each other by sugar coating the truth?
If you are reading my blog, then please feel free to call me out when you think I'm full of it. Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings, I'd rather be offended and learn something then have people try to make me feel better. I'm also going to try to be more honest with my feedback; I apologize in advance if that bothers you, but you know what they say, feedback is a gift. You can choose to accept that gift or you can choose to send it back.
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Another strong day; 2 mile walk, stuck to food plan, but only half my water. I'm actually looking forward to getting on the scale on Saturday. Stay Strong!
Showing posts with label Excuses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Excuses. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Thursday, April 23, 2015
Day #109 - More Pain Arrives
It's bad enough that I'm still struggling with pain, but now Mrs. FogDog is right there with me. Yesterday she rolled her ankle out in the yard and now she can barely walk. The doctor told her it's just a bad sprain, nothing broken, but she'll be hobbled for the next couple weeks. As for me, I'm still battling the knee pain at night, but it does appear to be getting better; I only woke up twice last night with knee pain instead of my 4-6 times each night.
Of course this isn't helping us to get the ship righted, we are both still struggling. I won't say we're doing terrible, but again we're not doing great either. I would be amazed if either of us lost any weight this week.
This last week really has me beginning to question if I really have changed. After about 6 weeks of hard work I can now feel my resolve slowly slipping away. So have I changed or was I just telling myself that in hopes that I could hang on longer before falling on my face? If I'm serious about my health then I need to put the excuses away and get back to it:
My knee hurts at night - Got it, so why does that keep me from eating healthy during the day?
Because I'm tired all day from not getting good sleep - Ok, that makes it harder, but not eating healthy also makes me tired; maybe that's why I feel tired.
Yeah but I'm also not exercising out of fear that my knee will get worse again - Great, how long are we going to milk that excuse? I didn't realize that all exercise requires vigorous use of the knees.
Ok, but Mrs. FogDog is hurting now too so we both enable each other to eat junk to feel better - Mrs. FogDog knows just as well as me that eating junk food only makes us feel better for a short moment to then be followed by feeling worse about doing it.
Fine, but we've struggled for almost a week now, one more day won't hurt - Yeah it won't hurt, but it won't help either. One more hour, one more meal, one more day, one more weekend, one more...
I have to go now, I need to continue this conversation with myself in private. Day #109 is in the books; on to 110.
Stay Strong!
Of course this isn't helping us to get the ship righted, we are both still struggling. I won't say we're doing terrible, but again we're not doing great either. I would be amazed if either of us lost any weight this week.
This last week really has me beginning to question if I really have changed. After about 6 weeks of hard work I can now feel my resolve slowly slipping away. So have I changed or was I just telling myself that in hopes that I could hang on longer before falling on my face? If I'm serious about my health then I need to put the excuses away and get back to it:
My knee hurts at night - Got it, so why does that keep me from eating healthy during the day?
Because I'm tired all day from not getting good sleep - Ok, that makes it harder, but not eating healthy also makes me tired; maybe that's why I feel tired.
Yeah but I'm also not exercising out of fear that my knee will get worse again - Great, how long are we going to milk that excuse? I didn't realize that all exercise requires vigorous use of the knees.
Ok, but Mrs. FogDog is hurting now too so we both enable each other to eat junk to feel better - Mrs. FogDog knows just as well as me that eating junk food only makes us feel better for a short moment to then be followed by feeling worse about doing it.
Fine, but we've struggled for almost a week now, one more day won't hurt - Yeah it won't hurt, but it won't help either. One more hour, one more meal, one more day, one more weekend, one more...
I have to go now, I need to continue this conversation with myself in private. Day #109 is in the books; on to 110.
Stay Strong!
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Day #80 - Accountability
In order for me to remain successful I must remain accountable for what I do. I had more knee pain last night and this morning felt like a zombie. I went to my miserable job (which only seems to be getting worse lately) and put in a miserable day. All day long I fought temptation and I stuck to my plan. I ate well all day and even got my gallon of water in before heading home.
As I left for home all I could think about was a bottle of Captain Morgan and a six pack of Coke. I fought my temptation for the whole 30 minute ride, thinking of nothing else. I tried my best not to make excuses, but something was going to give and I knew it. I told my wife we needed to go out so I could get some supplies for my bathroom remodel and I wanted to get a brace and some heat wraps for my knee. Ultimately while we were out we ended up going out to eat for dinner.
I could go on an on about how well I did at a Chinese buffet by only ordering water and eating almost exclusively shrimp and vegetables, but that would be me trying to rationalize or justify my behavior. The truth is I suggested going to the store because I knew it would give us an excuse to go out to eat and my brain had already decided that going out to eat would be an acceptable substitute for drinking alcohol.
See how I did that? On my 30 minute ride I convinced myself that for certain reasons (excuses) I needed a drink, but I shouldn't have a drink so instead I should go off my eating plan and somehow that now becomes an OK alternative.
All of this because I had a bad day and my knee hurts (excuses). This might sound strange, but it's really the reasoning that my brain goes through that bothers me about tonight. Had we just made a decision to go out for the heck of it I would have been fine with the choice (I really did a great job not pigging out at a buffet), but it's the whole rationalization thing that has me bothered tonight. The point here is that it doesn't matter how big or small the bad choice was, it's the reasoning behind the bad choice that really needs to be fixed
When stress piles up with me I start to crack and I can only hold on so long before I run to unhealthy behaviors for comfort. Why? They don't really make me feel better. It's this cycle that I've lived forever. I need to find a new way to deal or I'll be back at this point again and again.
So here I am, I made a bad choice tonight for a bad reason. I shared it to help remain accountable to myself, but that's where it ends. It does no good to dwell on it and it doesn't need to cause me further backslide. I made a bad choice and it won't be my last; the day is over and it's time to move on.
Stay Strong!
As I left for home all I could think about was a bottle of Captain Morgan and a six pack of Coke. I fought my temptation for the whole 30 minute ride, thinking of nothing else. I tried my best not to make excuses, but something was going to give and I knew it. I told my wife we needed to go out so I could get some supplies for my bathroom remodel and I wanted to get a brace and some heat wraps for my knee. Ultimately while we were out we ended up going out to eat for dinner.
I could go on an on about how well I did at a Chinese buffet by only ordering water and eating almost exclusively shrimp and vegetables, but that would be me trying to rationalize or justify my behavior. The truth is I suggested going to the store because I knew it would give us an excuse to go out to eat and my brain had already decided that going out to eat would be an acceptable substitute for drinking alcohol.
See how I did that? On my 30 minute ride I convinced myself that for certain reasons (excuses) I needed a drink, but I shouldn't have a drink so instead I should go off my eating plan and somehow that now becomes an OK alternative.
All of this because I had a bad day and my knee hurts (excuses). This might sound strange, but it's really the reasoning that my brain goes through that bothers me about tonight. Had we just made a decision to go out for the heck of it I would have been fine with the choice (I really did a great job not pigging out at a buffet), but it's the whole rationalization thing that has me bothered tonight. The point here is that it doesn't matter how big or small the bad choice was, it's the reasoning behind the bad choice that really needs to be fixed
When stress piles up with me I start to crack and I can only hold on so long before I run to unhealthy behaviors for comfort. Why? They don't really make me feel better. It's this cycle that I've lived forever. I need to find a new way to deal or I'll be back at this point again and again.
So here I am, I made a bad choice tonight for a bad reason. I shared it to help remain accountable to myself, but that's where it ends. It does no good to dwell on it and it doesn't need to cause me further backslide. I made a bad choice and it won't be my last; the day is over and it's time to move on.
Stay Strong!
Monday, March 16, 2015
Day #71 - My Favorite Excuses
Today was a great day health-wise. I followed my eating plan and I got in my gallon of water. I also went for a 1.5 mile walk at lunchtime though it was a bit more muddy than I thought it would be.
In the morning when I left for work Mrs FogDog and I agreed "No More Excuses". As I was walking at lunchtime I started to think about what are my favorite excuses...
Excuse #5 - It's The Weekend
It's not really part of the normal week right? It's the weekend so it's OK as long as I'm back on track by Monday morning
Excuse #4 - It's a Special Occasion
Birthdays, Holidays, Vacations, they're all special occasions so it's OK to eat unhealthy. Getting ready to start a diet? Yeah that's a special occasion too as well as good report cards, sunny weather, and the rare instances when my kids actually behave for more than 1 hour.
Excuse #3 - No Time
This is my favorite excuse when we are out and about or going out to do something. There's never enough time to pack healthy food. If we are out and it's getting late there isn't enough time to get home and cook a healthy dinner. If we are driving somewhere, there's no time to stop and eat healthy; we need to get fast food and eat and drive.
Excuse #2 - I'm Doing It For Someone Else
The noble excuse... Mrs. FogDog had a rough day so let me take her out to eat so she doesn't have to cook. I hven't spent enough time with the kids so let me take them out to eat so they can have some quality time with me.
Excuse #1 - I Deserve It
My #1 Excuse and it comes in many forms... I ate really well all week so I deserve a break. I had a stressful day at work so I deserve a treat. I quit smoking 3 months ago so it's OK if I cheat a little with the eating, I've earned it.
No More Excuses
So now that I've identified my favorite excuses I can learn to identify when I'm trying to use them. Weekends are still part of the week. If you have 6 special occasions every month then are they really that special? There's always time to be healthy or at least be less unhealthy. I'm not doing it for someone else, it's really for me. Good actions don't give me permission to eat poorly, what I really deserve is to be healthy and happy.
Those are my favorite excuses, what are yours?
Stay Strong!
In the morning when I left for work Mrs FogDog and I agreed "No More Excuses". As I was walking at lunchtime I started to think about what are my favorite excuses...
Excuse #5 - It's The Weekend
It's not really part of the normal week right? It's the weekend so it's OK as long as I'm back on track by Monday morning
Excuse #4 - It's a Special Occasion
Birthdays, Holidays, Vacations, they're all special occasions so it's OK to eat unhealthy. Getting ready to start a diet? Yeah that's a special occasion too as well as good report cards, sunny weather, and the rare instances when my kids actually behave for more than 1 hour.
Excuse #3 - No Time
This is my favorite excuse when we are out and about or going out to do something. There's never enough time to pack healthy food. If we are out and it's getting late there isn't enough time to get home and cook a healthy dinner. If we are driving somewhere, there's no time to stop and eat healthy; we need to get fast food and eat and drive.
Excuse #2 - I'm Doing It For Someone Else
The noble excuse... Mrs. FogDog had a rough day so let me take her out to eat so she doesn't have to cook. I hven't spent enough time with the kids so let me take them out to eat so they can have some quality time with me.
Excuse #1 - I Deserve It
My #1 Excuse and it comes in many forms... I ate really well all week so I deserve a break. I had a stressful day at work so I deserve a treat. I quit smoking 3 months ago so it's OK if I cheat a little with the eating, I've earned it.
No More Excuses
So now that I've identified my favorite excuses I can learn to identify when I'm trying to use them. Weekends are still part of the week. If you have 6 special occasions every month then are they really that special? There's always time to be healthy or at least be less unhealthy. I'm not doing it for someone else, it's really for me. Good actions don't give me permission to eat poorly, what I really deserve is to be healthy and happy.
Those are my favorite excuses, what are yours?
Stay Strong!
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Day #70 - That's Crossing the Line
Today was a beautiful day! I woke up this morning (no alcohol = no hangover) to lots of sunshine and warm weather. Since it was my last day of vacation and it was too nice to work inside we decided to take the kids for a hike. There was a Virginia state park called "Leesylvania" near the Potomac River that we decided to check out. It turned out to be an old plantation owned by Robert E Lee's grandfather.
It was a great hike and I was able to get 3 miles in. When we got done hiking the kids wanted to go to the shore line and skip rocks and then we saw a fishing pier. One of my daughters and I decided to walk out to the end of the pier. About halfway out I noticed a sign that said "Maryland". Sure enough there was a sign facing the opposite direction that read "Virginia"; it turns out that the state line runs down the river and through the walkway to the fishing pier. My daughter thought it was the coolest thing in the world and proceeded to cross the line multiple times.
Mrs. FogDog and I spent a good part of the day talking health strategy. We decided to stick with carb cycling but agreed that we weren't going to count calories or measure portions. We've done enough dieting in our lifetime that we know each day whether or not we are eating the right amount of calories and we know what a portion size is as well. The deciding factor came from the idea that whatever we choose to do to get healthy has to be stuff that we could sustain forever.
In order to stay on schedule with carb cycling, today was actually our unrestricted day. I didn't eat great but I didn't eat terrible either. I did introduce my kids to SPAM this morning and they hated it.
Lunch is already made for tomorrow, back to work I go. Stress will be there, but this time there are no more excuses. Day #70 is in the books and here comes day #71.
Stay Strong!
 |
| Crossing the Line |
Mrs. FogDog and I spent a good part of the day talking health strategy. We decided to stick with carb cycling but agreed that we weren't going to count calories or measure portions. We've done enough dieting in our lifetime that we know each day whether or not we are eating the right amount of calories and we know what a portion size is as well. The deciding factor came from the idea that whatever we choose to do to get healthy has to be stuff that we could sustain forever.
In order to stay on schedule with carb cycling, today was actually our unrestricted day. I didn't eat great but I didn't eat terrible either. I did introduce my kids to SPAM this morning and they hated it.
Lunch is already made for tomorrow, back to work I go. Stress will be there, but this time there are no more excuses. Day #70 is in the books and here comes day #71.
Stay Strong!
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Day #69 - Crossroads
Yesterday I asked the question "Have I really changed toward healthy living or am I still making excuses"? 68 days ago I gave myself 3 goals to meet; Quit Smoking, Quit Drinking Alcohol, and Lose 100 Pounds. At Day 69 I have only succeeded at one of those goals.
After some soul searching today I think I've reached an answer to my question but it's not a simple yes or no. I HAVE changed, I've thought about healthy living every single day of this journey so far. I AM committed to becoming healthier, and I know this really isn't optional anymore; I NEED to change. However, I've also been making excuses lately. I've been riding the "Quit Smoking" train for all that it has been worth and I've used that as justification to keep drinking and to not eat healthy.
Even as I put forth effort to stop drinking, I started to use that as an excuse to eat poorly, and then when I started to eat better, I used that as an excuse to let go a little and drink one night.
So when I ask myself if I've changed, I know the answer is yes because I can see the excuses for what they are. I can look into the mirror and tell myself that this week was a wasted week; that I had a week of vacation away from the stress (my biggest excuse) and yet somehow I managed to eat poorly and drink alcohol (and as a result gain 1.5 pounds). I can tell myself that it was a wasted week but at the same time I can put it behind me and renew my commitment. I don't have to spend another week depressed about last week.
However, change is not enough, I need to add some resolve and I need to make a few adjustments
The first thing on my agenda is to view my progress based on all my goals. No more riding the "no smoking" train, if I'm not smoking, not drinking, and eating healthy, then I am being successful. Success in one does not give me justification to give in to temptation in another area.
Second, no more drinking on the weekends. I'm a recreational drinker, but I've noticed that the recreational drinking ends up hurting my resolve when it comes to eating healthy. The two are tied together; I cannot lose weight and be healthy if I continue to drink.
Lastly, I need to strive for more consistency. It's amazing how quickly I swing from one extreme to the other, one day I can be perfect and the next day I'm completely off the rails for the entire day. I need to work on keeping steady. It would be better if I was consistently doing and average job than to be constantly alternating between great and terrible.
So here I am at a crossroads. I can continue to make excuses or I can learn from my mistakes and push forward. The decision is an easy one to make; despite the ups and downs I have made progress and it would be a shame to stop here. Besides, I've said it a few times. Failure is no longer an option, I NEED to make these changes. Day #69 is in the books, on to Day #70
Stay Strong!
P.S.- Happy PI Day!
After some soul searching today I think I've reached an answer to my question but it's not a simple yes or no. I HAVE changed, I've thought about healthy living every single day of this journey so far. I AM committed to becoming healthier, and I know this really isn't optional anymore; I NEED to change. However, I've also been making excuses lately. I've been riding the "Quit Smoking" train for all that it has been worth and I've used that as justification to keep drinking and to not eat healthy.
Even as I put forth effort to stop drinking, I started to use that as an excuse to eat poorly, and then when I started to eat better, I used that as an excuse to let go a little and drink one night.
So when I ask myself if I've changed, I know the answer is yes because I can see the excuses for what they are. I can look into the mirror and tell myself that this week was a wasted week; that I had a week of vacation away from the stress (my biggest excuse) and yet somehow I managed to eat poorly and drink alcohol (and as a result gain 1.5 pounds). I can tell myself that it was a wasted week but at the same time I can put it behind me and renew my commitment. I don't have to spend another week depressed about last week.
However, change is not enough, I need to add some resolve and I need to make a few adjustments
The first thing on my agenda is to view my progress based on all my goals. No more riding the "no smoking" train, if I'm not smoking, not drinking, and eating healthy, then I am being successful. Success in one does not give me justification to give in to temptation in another area.
Second, no more drinking on the weekends. I'm a recreational drinker, but I've noticed that the recreational drinking ends up hurting my resolve when it comes to eating healthy. The two are tied together; I cannot lose weight and be healthy if I continue to drink.
Lastly, I need to strive for more consistency. It's amazing how quickly I swing from one extreme to the other, one day I can be perfect and the next day I'm completely off the rails for the entire day. I need to work on keeping steady. It would be better if I was consistently doing and average job than to be constantly alternating between great and terrible.
So here I am at a crossroads. I can continue to make excuses or I can learn from my mistakes and push forward. The decision is an easy one to make; despite the ups and downs I have made progress and it would be a shame to stop here. Besides, I've said it a few times. Failure is no longer an option, I NEED to make these changes. Day #69 is in the books, on to Day #70
Stay Strong!
P.S.- Happy PI Day!
Friday, March 13, 2015
Day #68 - Slow Progress or Excuses?
I spent a good part of today asking myself if I really have changed. Other than quitting smoking 2 months ago I haven't really made any progress with improving my health. I'm sure some of you would say that's enough, but lately it feel more like I'm using that one bit of progress as a crutch.
The one thing it feels like I'm missing is consistency. I do well eating but not so good exercising, then I'll start walking each day but I end up going out to eat more at lunchtime. On and off it seems to go with no signs of more "good" days than bad. It's almost like each change gives me an excuse to do poorly in another area. That's not true change.
This week has been a great example of more excuses. I haven't eaten all that great this week, but my rationale is that I'm working hard each day and getting lots of exercise. Since I don't want to do too much at once it becomes OK for me to eat poorly because my physical activity has increased. Sounds crazy doesn't it? It's like that whack-a-mole game; you hit one and another pops up.
I'm starting to think that my commitment to change is moving too slowly. I don't want to overdo it and burn out with unsustainable change, but right now I think I've gone to the extreme in the other direction, almost to the point of not moving forward at all.
As my vacation comes to a close I still have more to ponder about my progress. I think it might be time to step it up just a little bit. On to Day #69.
Stay Strong!
The one thing it feels like I'm missing is consistency. I do well eating but not so good exercising, then I'll start walking each day but I end up going out to eat more at lunchtime. On and off it seems to go with no signs of more "good" days than bad. It's almost like each change gives me an excuse to do poorly in another area. That's not true change.
This week has been a great example of more excuses. I haven't eaten all that great this week, but my rationale is that I'm working hard each day and getting lots of exercise. Since I don't want to do too much at once it becomes OK for me to eat poorly because my physical activity has increased. Sounds crazy doesn't it? It's like that whack-a-mole game; you hit one and another pops up.
I'm starting to think that my commitment to change is moving too slowly. I don't want to overdo it and burn out with unsustainable change, but right now I think I've gone to the extreme in the other direction, almost to the point of not moving forward at all.
As my vacation comes to a close I still have more to ponder about my progress. I think it might be time to step it up just a little bit. On to Day #69.
Stay Strong!
Friday, February 20, 2015
Day #47 - The Perfect Excuse
I had it! I had the perfect excuse. Yesterday I had to do something that totally ruined my day. It was the perfect excuse to have a drink... or two... or ten. I got myself a bottle and set myself up with some tortilla chips and dip. It was 8:30PM so I was ready to put the kids to bed and was all pumped to forget the day in a deluge of Rum and Cokes.
The problem with my perfect excuse... it was still just and excuse (and I knew it!). I sat there for 5, 10, 15 minutes going through a battle in my head (at one point my wife asked me if I was going to be alright). "It's OK, you couldn't have anticipated what happened today" I told myself. "It's still just an excuse", was my reply. "Let's just do it tonight and start fresh tomorrow". "How many times have you said that one?". "I want a drink, I deserve one". "Go ahead, but you're breaking your commitment"
I wanted to drink really, really bad and I had the full bottle sitting right there in front of me. I had already forgiven myself for something I hadn't even done yet... but I just couldn't do it. I made a commitment and I need to try to keep to it as much as I can. I might fail on another day, heck I might fail this weekend, but for today I'm not going to give in.
So I didn't! I invited the kids to stay up and watch a little TV and ate some chips. Then I went to bed having never opened the bottle.
Now you might think I woke up in the morning and felt oh so wonderful and just beaming with confidence from my success on the previous night. Nope, just another day, time to start all over. Yes I'm proud of myself, but that doesn't make my journey any easier from here out. It was just 1 win in a 360 day war.
I'm sitting here tonight faced with the same dilemma; there's still a bottle of alcohol right in front of me and I have another choice to make. I might not make it through tonight either, but tonight is a little different. As I try to resist tonight I can tell myself that I've done it before and I can do it again. One day at a time.
Stay Strong!
The problem with my perfect excuse... it was still just and excuse (and I knew it!). I sat there for 5, 10, 15 minutes going through a battle in my head (at one point my wife asked me if I was going to be alright). "It's OK, you couldn't have anticipated what happened today" I told myself. "It's still just an excuse", was my reply. "Let's just do it tonight and start fresh tomorrow". "How many times have you said that one?". "I want a drink, I deserve one". "Go ahead, but you're breaking your commitment"
I wanted to drink really, really bad and I had the full bottle sitting right there in front of me. I had already forgiven myself for something I hadn't even done yet... but I just couldn't do it. I made a commitment and I need to try to keep to it as much as I can. I might fail on another day, heck I might fail this weekend, but for today I'm not going to give in.
So I didn't! I invited the kids to stay up and watch a little TV and ate some chips. Then I went to bed having never opened the bottle.
Now you might think I woke up in the morning and felt oh so wonderful and just beaming with confidence from my success on the previous night. Nope, just another day, time to start all over. Yes I'm proud of myself, but that doesn't make my journey any easier from here out. It was just 1 win in a 360 day war.
I'm sitting here tonight faced with the same dilemma; there's still a bottle of alcohol right in front of me and I have another choice to make. I might not make it through tonight either, but tonight is a little different. As I try to resist tonight I can tell myself that I've done it before and I can do it again. One day at a time.
Stay Strong!
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Day #32 - The Effects of Anger
I was ticked off before I even walked out the front door! That's one of the perks of having a company phone with email on it; you get to be annoyed any place, any time. I saw the email while I was eating breakfast (a healthy 3 eggs with a little cheese, onions and peppers in a tortilla wrap).
I'm not going to go into details of the email, but I will say I've never worked somewhere where there are so many people who act as roadblocks out of fear that others will look better and therefore make them look bad. Sometimes I think I'm back in grade school.
Anyway, regardless of the reason, I stewed all the way in on my 30 minute ride to work. When I got in, I didn't bother to pour myself some water like I usually do, I simply took off and buried myself in some work. Those that came to talk to me got sour responses and attitude before I closed my office door again. No morning snack and by the time lunch rolled around I just wanted to go out and vent to my best friend. I finished the day with no water consumption and a fully packed lunch riding back home with me.
There is no doubt that I let my anger derail my day completely. Why?? As I drove home it occurred to me just how stupid it was for me to use this event as an excuse. An event mind you that no one really cares about except for me. Instead of just shrugging my shoulders at the stupidity presented to me in an email, I chose to go on a mental rampage.
There's a part of me that whispers "it wasn't what happened that made you fall, you were just looking for some excuse". To be honest, that part of me may be right. Failure can be attractive because once it happens you don't have to make an effort anymore. So did I wake up this morning and start looking for an excuse, any excuse to go off the reservation today? It's possible, but truthfully it doesn't really matter why, failure is failure. Either way I have to learn to deal with it... I need to not let those little things get to me so much, and I need to stop looking for reasons to go nuts.
Today I get a big 'ole FAT "F"... But tomorrow is another day
Stay Strong!
I'm not going to go into details of the email, but I will say I've never worked somewhere where there are so many people who act as roadblocks out of fear that others will look better and therefore make them look bad. Sometimes I think I'm back in grade school.
Anyway, regardless of the reason, I stewed all the way in on my 30 minute ride to work. When I got in, I didn't bother to pour myself some water like I usually do, I simply took off and buried myself in some work. Those that came to talk to me got sour responses and attitude before I closed my office door again. No morning snack and by the time lunch rolled around I just wanted to go out and vent to my best friend. I finished the day with no water consumption and a fully packed lunch riding back home with me.
There is no doubt that I let my anger derail my day completely. Why?? As I drove home it occurred to me just how stupid it was for me to use this event as an excuse. An event mind you that no one really cares about except for me. Instead of just shrugging my shoulders at the stupidity presented to me in an email, I chose to go on a mental rampage.
There's a part of me that whispers "it wasn't what happened that made you fall, you were just looking for some excuse". To be honest, that part of me may be right. Failure can be attractive because once it happens you don't have to make an effort anymore. So did I wake up this morning and start looking for an excuse, any excuse to go off the reservation today? It's possible, but truthfully it doesn't really matter why, failure is failure. Either way I have to learn to deal with it... I need to not let those little things get to me so much, and I need to stop looking for reasons to go nuts.
Today I get a big 'ole FAT "F"... But tomorrow is another day
Stay Strong!
Saturday, October 25, 2014
A Familiar Road
Taking the Road Less MORE Travelled
Hey wait a minute, I recognize this place; I’ve been down
this road before. This is the path that
leads back to my destruction. I know
this road like the back of my hand, so well in fact, that I can go down it twice
as fast as recommended. I know every
twist and turn because this is the paths I ALWAYS end up on.
I’ve learned a little about myself, so I now know what starts me down the path… self-doubt. Usually I’m humming along the road to wellness when my buddy self-doubt comes knocking at my door. He tells me that I can’t stay “good” forever and that I’m bound to fail. Then he proceeds to tell me all the great excuses I can use, should I decide that he’s right. “You deserve a break” and “life’s too short, enjoy yourself” are a couple of the lines I hear. Before I know it, self-doubt is crashing on my couch because he’s got nowhere else to go. Eventually I break down and I begin to listen to what self-doubt has to say.
The road might look a little different each time I go back down it, but it always ends up back at the same place. This time the road started with stress, or more accurately, it started with my inability to deal with my stress. I used to deal with stress by smoking cigarettes. Then I quit smoking 5 months ago. I used to deal with stress by drinking alcohol (heavily) on the weekends, then I quit drinking about 4 months ago. All I had left in my stress toolbox was eating; I gained almost 50 pounds before deciding that it was not sustainable. I found the courage to take on my unhealthy eating habits about 2 months ago and my performance up until now has been stellar. The problem though is that my stress toolbox is empty. I tried to add exercise, but it wasn’t the same. I tried meditation, but it wasn’t enough. The stress has been building and building for 8 weeks now with no outlet.
For me, stress turns into anger. I begin to lose control over my anger and outbursts ensue; outbursts at work and at home. One of my good friends told me that he liked me better when I was still smoking. It was not in a mean way; it was in the context of me talking about how short my fuse has been lately, and it was not meant to suggest that I needed to start smoking again either. Still it stung a little to hear that. After outbursts comes the guilt about not being able to stay in control. I’m a well-respected leader; it’s my job and I’m paid handsomely to stay in control. My wife and kids deserve a father and husband who doesn’t yell all the time. THERE IT IS… THE NOBLE EXCUSE.
It actually started 2 weekends ago with a little drinking on Saturday night. Unfortunately, it worked and I felt better for a few days. Hey nothing wrong with blowing off a little steam now and then right? So why not do it again (last weekend)? A little more alcohol, but last weekend wasn’t as effective (or maybe the stress was a little more?). I guess it doesn’t really matter; the point is that it was the beginning of a pattern that built up to my latest epic performance last night. Last night I drank way too much alcohol, ate way too much junk food, and smoked a couple cigarettes to boot. I won't go into all the details, but it's fair to say that the ditch I landed in is fairly unpleasant at the moment. Yep, I’ve definitely been here before.
So now I find myself back on the road to hell. It’s a toll road that gets more and more expensive the longer you travel on it. Much like parts of the NJ Turnpike, there’s not a lot of exits. Even if I see one I’m not sure if I can get off, because after all, you have to want to. There’s more to come; I’m not exactly sure where I go from here so I need some time to figure it out. I’ll let you know how it goes.
-Stay Strong! (not like me)
I’ve learned a little about myself, so I now know what starts me down the path… self-doubt. Usually I’m humming along the road to wellness when my buddy self-doubt comes knocking at my door. He tells me that I can’t stay “good” forever and that I’m bound to fail. Then he proceeds to tell me all the great excuses I can use, should I decide that he’s right. “You deserve a break” and “life’s too short, enjoy yourself” are a couple of the lines I hear. Before I know it, self-doubt is crashing on my couch because he’s got nowhere else to go. Eventually I break down and I begin to listen to what self-doubt has to say.
The road might look a little different each time I go back down it, but it always ends up back at the same place. This time the road started with stress, or more accurately, it started with my inability to deal with my stress. I used to deal with stress by smoking cigarettes. Then I quit smoking 5 months ago. I used to deal with stress by drinking alcohol (heavily) on the weekends, then I quit drinking about 4 months ago. All I had left in my stress toolbox was eating; I gained almost 50 pounds before deciding that it was not sustainable. I found the courage to take on my unhealthy eating habits about 2 months ago and my performance up until now has been stellar. The problem though is that my stress toolbox is empty. I tried to add exercise, but it wasn’t the same. I tried meditation, but it wasn’t enough. The stress has been building and building for 8 weeks now with no outlet.
For me, stress turns into anger. I begin to lose control over my anger and outbursts ensue; outbursts at work and at home. One of my good friends told me that he liked me better when I was still smoking. It was not in a mean way; it was in the context of me talking about how short my fuse has been lately, and it was not meant to suggest that I needed to start smoking again either. Still it stung a little to hear that. After outbursts comes the guilt about not being able to stay in control. I’m a well-respected leader; it’s my job and I’m paid handsomely to stay in control. My wife and kids deserve a father and husband who doesn’t yell all the time. THERE IT IS… THE NOBLE EXCUSE.
It actually started 2 weekends ago with a little drinking on Saturday night. Unfortunately, it worked and I felt better for a few days. Hey nothing wrong with blowing off a little steam now and then right? So why not do it again (last weekend)? A little more alcohol, but last weekend wasn’t as effective (or maybe the stress was a little more?). I guess it doesn’t really matter; the point is that it was the beginning of a pattern that built up to my latest epic performance last night. Last night I drank way too much alcohol, ate way too much junk food, and smoked a couple cigarettes to boot. I won't go into all the details, but it's fair to say that the ditch I landed in is fairly unpleasant at the moment. Yep, I’ve definitely been here before.
So now I find myself back on the road to hell. It’s a toll road that gets more and more expensive the longer you travel on it. Much like parts of the NJ Turnpike, there’s not a lot of exits. Even if I see one I’m not sure if I can get off, because after all, you have to want to. There’s more to come; I’m not exactly sure where I go from here so I need some time to figure it out. I’ll let you know how it goes.
-Stay Strong! (not like me)
[Photo: Flickr / János Csongor Kerekes]
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Noble Excuses
What makes an excuse noble is the selflessness that comes along with it. When you choose a noble excuse, you choose to put your own personal needs aside while you attend to the needs of others even if that excuse means a little weight gain. Below are just a few examples of excuses that go that extra mile and therefore become NOBLE...
A Friend In Need
Everyone has friends (well, most everyone); and those friends have needs, both physical and emotional. When you are trying to eat healthy, a friend in need is the perfect opportunity to create a Noble Excuse…
What’s that, your best friend just broke up with her boyfriend? You need to do the right thing and march right over to her house and help her fight through the tears with a couple gallons of ice cream! To do anything else would be unworthy of BFF status.
Your buddy’s brother just lost his job? Time to man up, put on your big boy pants, and get ready for a night of heavy duty drinking. Afterall, it’s your buddy’s brother, it’s your duty!
Will Someone Please Think of the Children!
Ah yes, the wee Children. Parents’ perfect generator for noble excuses. There are so many different ways we parents can use our kids for rationalization…
Little Suzie has to go to karate class and Johnny has gymnastics 3 times a week. There’s no time to cook a healthy meal, but my kids need these activities. We’ll just have to suffer through some pizza for the good of the kids!
My kids won’t eat healthy food. I can’t let them starve so we’ll be eating hot dogs tonight in order to make sure they don’t go hungry!
If I eat this candy bar, maybe I’ll stop being so cranky. I need to do it or I might say something that scars my kids for life!
For the Greater Good
No discussion about nobility comes without talking about the greater good. History is filled with heinous acts that were done with “the greater good” in mind, why would unhealthy eating be any different…
I’ve eaten so well for the last week, but if I don’t go out for Chinese buffet now, I’ll surely lose control next week and end up eating out multiple times. I better go out now in order to help stay in control later.
Should I eat Aunt May’s cherry cobbler or Uncle Ralph’s pumpkin pie? Making a choice will certainly create a rift that will rival the Hatfields and the McCoys. I better do the right thing and have both, you know, to keep the peace.
What's Your Excuse?
Life happens and we can’t just hide out in a low calorie bubble. Friends will have problems, kids will be kids, and it’s impossible to keep family peace for more than about 5 seconds at any family event. At the end of the day noble excuses are nothing more than excuses with a lot of thought behind them. Instead of putting your energy into making your excuses noble, why not instead try to put that energy into not needing excuses in the first place. Life is all about making a lot of small choices; you need excuses for the bad ones, but you gain true satisfaction from the good ones.
What about you, what’s your most Noble Excuse?
Monday, October 6, 2014
Accountability in Weight Loss
No, I don't thinks so! Anyone who knows me, knows that I’m not much into walking down memory lane. While it's ok to reflect on what has happened to us in the past, we really shouldn't spend too much time dwelling on it. Reaching 100 posts is cool, but it is just a drop in the bucket compared to what I want to put out there. Besides, if people really want to know what I’ve done so far, it's all here on this blog; just go back into the archives and help yourself.
So instead of writing about my past, I want to focus on my future. My future seems so much brighter than ever because I have finally learned what it means to hold myself accountable. Accountable... you see that word a lot here in the blogosphere. People start weight loss blogs and they say they do it to help stay accountable. So what is accountability and more importantly why do we need it? Before I write about what accountability is to me, let me first write about what accountability isn’t:
Accountability is NOT…
Punishing Yourself – If you think accountability is all about punishment, you are wrong. I truly believe a lot of people confuse accountability with punishment all the time. They think “I failed so now I need to be punished in order to stay accountable”. While it is true that punishment can be a result of accountability, it is not a defining attribute. You can be accountable for your actions without ever punishing yourself.
Perfection – Accountability doesn’t mean doing everything with perfection all the time. Nobody is perfect and no matter what you set out to do, you will NEVER do it perfectly. Everything you do should be done with the utmost integrity, but that’s not accountability, that’s character.
Going Public – If you think that by posting your weight here on the internet is accountability, you’d be wrong again. Though making your journey public can assist you with being accountable, it’s not a guarantee. I made this mistake early in my journey; I thought that by broadcasting my weight on the internet, it would somehow “force” me to stay on my plan. The problem was. It was too easy to just turn off the computer.
Confession/Admittance – Admitting things (to yourself) is part of the process of holding yourself accountable, but it’s not accountability. You can admit your failures ‘til the cows come home and it doesn’t mean you are holding yourself accountable. You see a lot of this in blogs; people are willing to confess all their failures. While this isn’t a bad thing, it’s not accountability when you continue to make the same confessions week after week.
So What is Accountability?
Holding yourself accountable means acceptance; acceptance of the fact that you and you alone are 100% responsible for what happens to you; both good and bad. It means saying what you are going to do, and then doing what you say. It means keeping all those agreements you make to yourself.
When you don’t do what you say or you don’t keep those agreements to yourself, then accountability means being responsible for understanding why and making the changes necessary to prevent the same failure from happening again. Keep in mind that the search for understanding should be focused on you and not on external sources of failure. Making changes from those discoveries, doesn’t necessarily mean punishment either. You may instead choose preventative measures for the next time.
Conversely, when you do what you say and you keep those agreements, then accountability means recognizing your success and taking credit for it. Remember you are 100% responsible. So often we are quick to dismiss our success as luck or even give the credit away to others. Why?? There may have been people who may have helped you along the way, but YOU chose to accept that help. People may have told you things, but YOU chose to listen. Enjoy your success! Celebrate! Maybe you can even see if how you succeeded will work with some other problem. If you only think of accountability when you fail, then you are only doing half the job.
Accountability in Weight Loss
So if you are trying to lose weight and you want to hold yourself accountable, here are a couple of tips:
- Don’t tie accountability to the number on the scale – If you’ve done any reading amongst weight loss blogs, you see a lot of people discussing just how poor the scale is for measuring progress in a weight loss journey. Holding yourself accountable by measuring on a scale is a recipe for disaster.
- Make the agreements small – It’s fine to have a grand goal to achieve, but when it comes to accountability stick with small agreements, at least, at first. Like anything else in life, accountability is something learned.
- Prepare for failure – Failure is a part of life, accountability is how you deal with it. If you know it’s coming, you won’t be caught off guard.
- Seek Balance – Accountability is not just about failure. Seek to find a balance between recognizing your success and you failures. If you focus too much on failures you will become discouraged. If you focus too much on successes, then you miss opportunities for improvement.
Most of us don’t do a good job with accountability; we either hold ourselves to too high of standards or we go too light and let ourselves get away with things. To be honest if you're skewed a little one way or another it's not too bad. What's really bad is when your level of accountability is inconsistent from day to day. It's ironic, but in my experience, when you are inconsistent with accountability you will tend toward the opposite of what you should do; you’ll be tough when you should give yourself a break and you’ll give yourself a break when you should be tough. That lack of consistency really just becomes lack of accountability.
Nowhere to Hide
When we hold ourselves accountable we take away all the excuses. When we take away all the excuses we don’t waste time and energy coming up with those excuses. When we save time not coming up with excuses, we have time to actually figure out how to solve our problems. What do you think, do you hold yourself accountable?
Photo: Flickr / Justgrimes]
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
A Different Way to Deal With Stress
Yesterday was one of those days! You know those days, right? Those days when you are given every
opportunity to make excuses. Those days when
the world is against your good intentions (or it least it feels that way). Well for me, yesterday was one of those days.
It started with the alarm at 5AM. I woke up groggy and just physically rundown. I don’t know if I didn’t sleep well or my body getting used to the lower calories but this was the most tired I’ve felt in a while. I could have skipped my morning workout, I could have slept another hour, I could have went to Starbucks and got a big coffee. I could have found an excuse… but I didn’t.
Work was a nightmare. My boss is out of town so I’m holding down the fort the best I can. Everything is falling apart. My Boss’s boss invites me to lunch. I’ve committed to staying strictly to my plan for the first month. “But this is a networking opportunity”, “It’s a free meal”, “You could just go with him to test your willpower by ordering only healthy items”. I could have found an excuse to go… but I didn’t.
More chaos in the afternoon. Everyone’s
got a problem and when you are a Maintenance Manager everyone thinks their
problem is the most important. For some
reason I’m starving. On the ride home I
start to think about going out for dinner.
I need to convince my wife, but how?
Prey on her weak points. Suggest
Chinese food, or tell her she looks like she needs a break tonight. I could have found an excuse to go out… but I
didn’t.
Finally home at 6PM! What the?? Two kids yelling at each other, and the third one’s crying. Now my headache is getting worse. Dinner is served; I’m done in 15 minutes. Great healthy meal but for some reason I still feel like I’m starving. The kids are still disputing (calmly now) but I’m getting pissed off at them and need to let it out. I can’t take it anymore! There’s a convenience store 5 minutes away. I can get my old standby dessert; a cherry filled pie, a Hershey chocolate bar, and a cream soda to wash it all down. Hey I deserve it right? Look at the day I’ve had. It’s only one night and I can start fresh tomorrow. I went through all the excuses; I had all the reasons to do it… but I didn’t!
Instead I tried something different. I apologized to the kids for yelling at them and explained I’m just having a bad day. I put on some workout clothes and I went downstairs. I cranked up some hellacious tunes and I move my elliptical trainer as fast as I could for as long as I could. 30 minutes and 2.5 miles later I could barely catch my breath. I was dripping in sweat, my headache was gone, and I was overcome by a huge sense of accomplishment.
I’m not naïve to think that I’ve instantly changed into a new person, and I certainly know that not all days will end this way, but yesterday, for one day I didn’t let the excuses win! (Small victories #7, 8, 9, and 10).
Stay Strong
It started with the alarm at 5AM. I woke up groggy and just physically rundown. I don’t know if I didn’t sleep well or my body getting used to the lower calories but this was the most tired I’ve felt in a while. I could have skipped my morning workout, I could have slept another hour, I could have went to Starbucks and got a big coffee. I could have found an excuse… but I didn’t.
Work was a nightmare. My boss is out of town so I’m holding down the fort the best I can. Everything is falling apart. My Boss’s boss invites me to lunch. I’ve committed to staying strictly to my plan for the first month. “But this is a networking opportunity”, “It’s a free meal”, “You could just go with him to test your willpower by ordering only healthy items”. I could have found an excuse to go… but I didn’t.
Finally home at 6PM! What the?? Two kids yelling at each other, and the third one’s crying. Now my headache is getting worse. Dinner is served; I’m done in 15 minutes. Great healthy meal but for some reason I still feel like I’m starving. The kids are still disputing (calmly now) but I’m getting pissed off at them and need to let it out. I can’t take it anymore! There’s a convenience store 5 minutes away. I can get my old standby dessert; a cherry filled pie, a Hershey chocolate bar, and a cream soda to wash it all down. Hey I deserve it right? Look at the day I’ve had. It’s only one night and I can start fresh tomorrow. I went through all the excuses; I had all the reasons to do it… but I didn’t!
Instead I tried something different. I apologized to the kids for yelling at them and explained I’m just having a bad day. I put on some workout clothes and I went downstairs. I cranked up some hellacious tunes and I move my elliptical trainer as fast as I could for as long as I could. 30 minutes and 2.5 miles later I could barely catch my breath. I was dripping in sweat, my headache was gone, and I was overcome by a huge sense of accomplishment.
I’m not naïve to think that I’ve instantly changed into a new person, and I certainly know that not all days will end this way, but yesterday, for one day I didn’t let the excuses win! (Small victories #7, 8, 9, and 10).
Stay Strong
[Photo: Flickr / bottled_void]
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