Weight Loss "Tale of Two Cities"

It’s been a very interesting week to say the least.  On the one hand my eating has been rock-solid, almost automatic.  I don’t know if it’s all the water I’m drinking, but I just don’t feel hungry despite a daily intake of 1500 calories (4 low carb days) or 2000 calories (2 high carb days).  I really expected the hunger to be gnawing at me, you know, whispering in my ear about how great it would be to go get a pizza. 

My best friend is back at work after a business trip and even he hasn’t had any impact on my resolve.  My best friend is the epitome of what I need to NOT do.  He smokes, drinks everyday, skips breakfast, and eats fast food the rest of the day.  Someday I’ll have to figure out how he isn’t twice my size.  Anyway, all week we’ve been going out for lunch… well sort of. 

Since he’s been out of town and since we’ve both been incredibly busy, we haven’t had much time to talk so we’ve been going out at lunchtime just to hang out.  I heat up and eat my lunch at 11:45 and then at noon we go out and he stops at some fast food joint to get something to eat in the car.  All week I’ve been going with him and not once have I even been tempted to get something (small victories 11,12,13,14, and 15).  I’m hoping when he sees my resolve he’ll start bringing his lunch; we’ll see.

On the flip side of the coin, I’ve done a horrible job at exercising.  My fear has come true, now that I’ve abandoned getting up at 5AM, it seems I have very little motivation to workout in the evening.  All week I’ve been finding excuses (such as right now when I could be working out instead of blogging.  Ohh that gives me a great idea for a blog post… the irony of sitting on your ass blogging about losing weight.  Look for it next week!  OK where was I?  Oh yeah no exercising.

I still expect to see a loss tomorrow when I get on the scale, it’s just that I don’t feel like the week was complete for me.  How can someone do so well in one area of healthy living and so poorly in another?  I noticed that I have a harder time falling asleep when I don’t exercise; I know it’s good for my body and my mind.  Oh well, one day at a time; you can’t fix everything at once.  I’ll report on my weigh-in tomorrow.

Stay Strong!

[Photo: Flickr / Pascal]

Day 40 - Weight Loss Results

Starting Weight – 330

Day 30 Weight – 319.2

Current Weight – 314.8
Period Weight Loss – 4.4 Pounds

Overall Weight Loss – 15.2 Pounds

4.4 pounds... A great recovery from the previous 10 days!  Though 0.6 pounds short of my goal, I'm absolutely thrilled that I was able to turn it around from the last weigh-in.  I have always been haunted by letting one bad week turn into several so I was determined to not let that happen this week.

What Went Well

1. Great Job sticking to my plan (calories, water, and exercise)
2. Did well finding opportunities to get some exercise in.  While I was reloading my PC (see my last post), I would jump on the elliptical trainer while software was loading.  I ended up with 53 minutes of exercise instead of just sitting in front of a PC while software was installing.
3. I DID NOT SMOKE! Last weekend was my first big test in terms of smoking cigarettes.  My best friend came to visit for the first time since I quit and we went out to a friend's house for a poker game.  He's a smoker and the two of us tend to be enablers for each other's bad habits.  Not only did I refrain from smoking, but I was also reasonable with the amount of food and beer I had at the poker game.  Definitely a good sign that my habits are changing!

Areas to Improve

1. I still need to be more active.  I reached my exercise goal, but I'm still doing the bare minimum.  I want to get more exercise, but more importantly, I want to be more active every day.  I still feel like I'm not moving around as much as I should be; I'm hoping the weather will improve soon so I can get outside more.

Moving Forward

No changes in daily calories or water consumption (both seem to be working fine).  No new adjustments to my plan.  Goals for this week (Next 10 Days):

1. I'm going to shoot for another 5 pounds.  I'm beginning to discover that I do better when I challenge myself to goals that are very hard to hit.
2. I want to make a conscious effort to be considerably more active over the next 10 days.  This is going to be tough for me as I have a lot going on at work right now and I am expecting to put in some long hours at the office next week.

I hope you all are enjoying a good weigh-in as well.  Thanks for all the support.  Stay Strong!

Day 20 - Weight Loss Results

Starting Weight – 330

Day 10 Weight – 322

Current Weight – 319

Period Weight Loss – 3 Pounds

Overall Weight Loss – 11 Pounds

3 More pounds!  I'm happy, though I had set the period goal at 4 pounds and didn't quite get there.  One thing I forgot about, since I'm weighing in every 10 days instead of every week there will be some periods where I will go through 2 weekends between weigh-ins.  I've said before that weekends are my toughest time, and I probably should have taken that into account this time.  Regardless, I have lots of good things going on right now and there's still lots of opportunity as well.

What went well

My first highlight of the period has to be my performance on the Friday (1/18) right after my last weigh-in.  On the day before (The day I posted my last results), Virginia had a pretty severe snowstorm.  Well, not actually severe in my book (I lived in Maine for a while), but definitely enough to wreak havoc in the area.  No kidding, I had literally just posted my 10 day results and was getting ready to go read some of the blogs I'm following when the power went out at my house.  I live in a rural area and given the magnitude of the wet, heavy snow, I figured we might be getting ready to see an extended power outage.

By morning, my concerns appeared to be coming to reality as we still didn't have power and it was pretty cold in the house.  I had to go to work so I took a shower in the dark with what was going to be the last of the hot water.  It's funny, I didn't even think about healthy eating until after my shower when I suddenly realized that I couldn't cook my oatmeal and didn't dare open the refrigerator to get out some hard boiled eggs.  Not only that, but I didn't have any snacks or a lunch to bring either.

Now folks, let me tell you that these types of events in my life are exactly what I use as an excuse to stop eating healthy.  When I look back at my past failures, you can definitely see a pattern of me utilizing changes in my routine (vacation, special events, new job, etc) as a great excuse to stop living a healthy lifestyle.  What has me so proud is that this time I recognized it and told myself that I was going to have to find a way to deal with it.

I stopped at the local Sheetz for breakfast.  I was thrilled to discover they sold oatmeal at their deli; I got 1/2 cup of oatmeal with dried fruit, a small veggie breakfast wrap, and a cup of coffee.  For lunch it was back to Sheetz for a roast beef wrap, an apple, and a banana (I never even realized they sold fresh fruit!).  At dinner time I took the family to Red Robin and I had a plain burger with lettuce and tomato and a side salad instead of fries.

Fortunately, by the time we got home that evening the power had been restored!  I didn't even try to estimate the calories, but I suspect that If I did go over my 2500 calorie limit, it wasn't by much.  I might not have hit my calorie target and I certainly didn't get to spread my calories out over 4-6 meals, but this was a small battle that I won that could have had huge consequences if I had made different (poor) choices.

Although overshadowed by the power event, another aspect that went well for me was the beginning of establishing my morning routine.  I know I said I was going to write it out and put it on my bathroom mirror, but I didn't.  However I did see progress and I believe that by the end of the first 30 days I will be well on my way to following my morning routine every single day.  In fact, I actually got up this morning (on a Sunday) at my normal work week time and followed my morning routine.

Areas to Improve

As I said above, there is still plenty of room for improvement.  For starters, my water intake slipped a little.  I missed my water target 5 of the last 10 days, but what was more troubling to me was that I missed it for 3 consecutive days during the week.  I know my body and I know that the weight does not come off that well if I don't get my water in each day.  I actually believe I would've lost another pound and hit my target for the period if I had done better with my water consumption.

The other area that needs improvement is exercise.  Daily exercise is not a full blown habit for me just yet.  To be honest, I believe I only exercised on 4 of the 10 days this period.  As I lose more and more weight, it will get much harder to keep moving forward if  don't establish daily exercise as a habit.  However, I am far from beating myself up over this.  50 days ago I quit smoking!  20 days ago I started eating healthy!  I know I can't be perfect and change everything at once and I already have a lot of change going on right now.  At the moment my philosophy is this: Any exercise I do each day is better than what I used to do.  Some day soon I will need to work on this, but that day is not today.

Moving Forward

Like last time, I don't see the need to make any changes to my plan just yet, but their may be some small tweaks on the horizon (after my first 30 days).  I did hit my target for sticking to plan; I stuck to all the individual elements of my plan 76% of the time.  This was a little less than last period, and was mainly due to exercise (40%) and water (50%).

I'm setting this period goal at 4 pounds again.  I'm actually excited to get through these next 10 days; if I can lose the 4 pounds I will have lost 15 pound in my first 30 days. Not too shabby, in fact I only managed to lose 17 pounds during a 30 day weight loss challenge and I was starving myself and miserable the whole time. This time I'm much happier and so far (knock on wood) the change hasn't been too difficult.  Good luck to everyone out there!

30 Day Challenge Week 3 : Fringe Blogger

In case you haven't noticed, I've started to become what I call a fringe blogger.  There just aren't enough hours in the day to do all the things I want and need to do, so something has to scale back.  I do truly enjoy blogging and I hope my articles inspire others, but for now I've decided to scale back a little.  Where I used to write 3-4 articles each week, for now I'll be trying to get out 1 or 2.  This would bother me if not for the fact that I'm backing off on the blogging mostly because my physical activity has really taken off!  This 30 day challenge was a great tool for me, I really feel great these days.  That has translated into a lot more activity around the house and that is just helping me all the more! 

However, even though I'm scaling back on the writing, you can be assured that I'm still reading the blogs I'm following.  I haven't been commenting lately because I'm having issues with my work PC, but I try to keep up with everyone's blogs during my lunch hour. 

On the weight loss front, I would like to mention that yesterday I had to adjust my belt up a notch!  My wife says that my weight loss is noticeable and I'm dying to find out how much I've lost.  One more week to go on the 30 day challenge; we weigh in on Friday morning.

I mentioned before I started the challenge that I was dropping from 2500 calories per day to 2000.  Since then I've discovered that I am quite satisfied at that level (assuming I post a big loss next week).  I really haven't felt like I was starving and I really haven't noticed a big difference in how much less I'm eating.  In the second week I tried dropping down to 1800 calories for a couple days.  I ended up feeling run down and generally miserable by the 3rd day, so I quickly went back to 2000.  Figuring out how much you should eat is a process and is as unique for each person as a fingerprint.  To all of you out there who are still struggling to find your "zone" I would stress "just be patient and listen to your body".

As far as my exercise routine goes, week 3 has been a little slack.  I've missed a couple workouts, but I don't feel all too bad because the misses were in favor of doing other active things.  Granted 30 minutes on the elliptical is probably more rigorous than a round of golf but I need to enjoy the exercise I'm getting too.

Eating in week 3 has been exceptional!  I've stayed in between 2000 and 2100 calories all week long.  I also had a couple small victories that made me proud and had my wife believing that I truly have changed my ways.  First, she bought a dozen cookies for the kids early in the week.  I considered having one a couple times in the evenings, but at 190 calories each I just couldn't do it.  I'm happy to say that the kids ate the last of them last night and I never did have one.  The second victory came on Wednesday; we got a free lunch at work for hitting our monthly targets last month.  We each got a sub, chips, and a big cookie and there was soda to drink.  I'm happy to report that I ate my 6" sub and chips, had water instead of soda, and brought my cookie home for the kids.  The total for lunch was only 585 calories (the cookie itself would have been another 480).  All afternoon that cookie was begging me to eat it, but I refused and it felt great to be able to bring it home instead.

So now I'm into the last week of the 30 day challenge.  During this last week I plan on exercising as much as possible.  I'm playing golf on Saturday and the weather is supposed to be nice all weekend so I'm planning on making the most of it and getting a lot of outdoor activities in.  I might not hit the 15 pound goal, but I'm sure going to give it the college try.  Stay Strong!

30 Day Challenge: Week 2

I can't believe it's been almost a week since I posted on my blog!  Sorry folks, I've just been real busy these days.  The good news is that I've been real busy staying active which should pay some real dividends at the end of the 30 day challenge.

Week 2 was a great week for me.  I can almost feel the weight falling off as I have stuck to my diet and have increased my exercise considerably.  My wife has been making some great meals and we have avoided dining out altogether.  That is until this last Saturday when we decided to go out for Chinese buffet.  I am happy to report that my trip to the Chinese restaurant was mostly successful.  I did eat 2 full plates of food, but 1 of them was nothing but sushi and peel-n-eat shrimp.  The second plate had a lot of my favorites, but absolutely no fried foods like chicken fingers or egg rolls.  Desert was a bowl of assorted fruit.  I might have eaten more than I should but it wasn't bad for a cheat meal and I could've done a lot worse.

As far as exercise goes, I've really made an effort to increase my activity level.  I completed all of my 1 hour workouts during the week, and in addition I walked 3 miles on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.  On Friday I painted my living room ceiling, on Saturday I walked another 6 miles, and then on Sunday I helped Big D. run electrical in his basement.  By far this is the most activity I've had in a while!

Big D. is also doing pretty good.  All of those extra walks I did were with him and it's a challenge just to keep up with him.  He's now up to walking almost 4 miles a day with his dog, and he's still eating healthy.  Hid big test will come this Friday when he travels up to New York for the weekend.  If he can eat healthy on the road, then he's got a legitimate shot at hitting the 15 pound mark.  Time will tell!

So now we are into week 3.  Unfortunately I've missed my last 2 workouts; I missed Sunday because I was helping Big D. and then I missed yesterday's because I had to go to a soccer meeting (I'm coaching soccer this season).  Although I've missed a couple workouts, I'm still eating really well.  Tonight I get back on the wagon and I'll get a good workout in.

I also have to say that I'm dying to get on the scale and see where I'm at.  My guess is that I've probably lost around 7-9 pounds so far, but that's really just a guess.  You never know how the scale will treat you until you actually get on.  Only 10 days to go before the big weigh-in, so I guess I can hold out until then.  Stay Strong!

30 Day Challenge: Week 1

It felt strange not to weigh in on Saturday, but part of our rules on the 30 day challenge include only weighing in at the beginning and the end.  All in all I have to say it was a pretty decent week.  For those of you who follow regularly, you know the start of my week was pretty tough.  I did manage to fight through the issues and I can say that although I felt terrible, I didn't waver on my diet and exercise.

Last Saturday I started a new workout program just for this challenge.  The timing was perfect as I had just finished 6 weeks of my last workout program and was looking to change things up a bit.  I'm now doing 1 hour of exercise each day for 6 days followed by a 1 day break.  I started on Saturday so my day off is on Fridays.  I've always been a fan of having my day off on the weekend, but I have to admit it's easier to get those weekend workouts in.

My workout now consists of both strength training and cardio work every day.  I start with 30 minutes of strength training and then I do 2.5 miles on the elliptical.  For the strength training I have 3 different workouts; one for upper body, mid body, and lower body.  I rotate through these workouts so as to give my muscles 2 days of rest before working them again.  So far the workout has been going well.

As far as eating goes, I've been tracking my calorie intake and trying to hold at 2000 calories.  My wife has been helping out and has been keeping me accountable for what I really eat.  I'm amazed at how I underestimate everything, but she's been making me measure it.  I bet when I'm estimating I probably eat 200-300 more calories than I realize.

When this weekend hit, I was over my depression and it was perfect timing as the weather has been great.  I can actually see grass now and I took full advantage of it taking the kids to the park to let them ride bikes.  I probably walked an additional 2 miles on top of my normal workout.

As far as Big D. goes, he also did very well this week and he says that he's feeling great.  He was off work in the beginning of the week and decided to go the NY, but his girlfriend was very supportive and helped him to eat healthy, fresh foods.  Now he's back to work but on day shift so it's not too stressful on his system.  We are actually going to walk our dogs on a 3 mile loop later tonight.

I do have one sad (well not really) piece of news to report.  Over the weekend I had to retire my last 3XLT business shirt.  I've actually been in 2XL shirts for a little while now, but this was my favorite shirt and I've been hanging onto it for way too long.  You may have noticed that I said I went to 2XL from 3XLT.  I used to buy shirts for tall people so the extra length could make up for the circumference of my belly.  When I hit 2X, I didn't need that extra length (go figure).  Anyway, when I came home from work my wife commented that my favorite was starting to look like I was hiding under a tent.  I've always wore loose fitting clothing, but this was beyond the normal fat person trick.  I think when you can stuff a basketball under your shirt and it's still loose, you probably need to retire it.  So goodbye favorite shirt... Here's to finding another one in the 1X size (I don't plan on being in 2X long enough to find a favorite).

Anyway I'm feeling better, doing the right things, and looking forward to winning this challenge.  This week I'm going to try to get a post out with some suggestions for easy and healthy snacks and I am hoping to continue discussing ways to lose weight without starving yourself.  The next discussion will probably be about ways to help boost your metabolism.  Good luck to everyone out there.  Stay Strong!

Journal Update - 2/5/10

All in all it's been an ok week.  I was certainly better than last week, but I probably should have done better.  I ate well all week long and got at least 64oz. of water in every day.  I exercised every day except for today because I had to go shovel snow in the morning so I could get to work.  Today was a strength training day so I need to make it up tomorrow morning. 

On Wednesday I went out for lunch, and was pleasantly surprised with my performance.  I did get a soda, but then I just got the salad bar and stayed away from the burgers (even though I really wanted one so bad!).  I'm expecting that tomorrow I'll post a loss.

This week has been a lot about reflections for me.  After last week, I spent quite a bit of time thinking about my life.  During the week I wrote an article about making sure your happy because losing weight will not do it alone.  I wrote it because I've started to realize that this is one of my problems.

I think I've always used my weight as an excuse for not dealing with the things that make me unhappy.  For years I've spent my time convinced that my weight was the only reason why I wasn't happy but the reality is I can lose all the weight I want and I'll still have the issues I have now.  The last thing I want to do is go through all this trouble losing the weight only to gain it back because I'm still not happy.  I use food to make me feel better so I have 2 choices; I can stop using food to make me feel better or I can start feeling better!

So now I have 2 journeys; I'm going to lose this weight and I'm going to start focusing on what exactly makes me unhappy.  My first focus is going to be on my activity level.  I've started to realize that since we moved I have become very inactive.  Here's a sample of my typical work day:

I get up at 6:00 and (most days) I work out for 20-45 minutes.  I go to work and about 80% of my day is spent sitting at a desk.  At lunch time I eat a quick lunch and then spend the rest of it on the internet reading blogs I follow,  researching stocks, and writing drafts for my blog posts.  I get home usually around 5:30 and then spend the next hour decompressing.  Decompressing is really just a fancy word for being lazy.  I bum around on the computer, sometimes playing Miniclip games or polishing up my blog articles.  Sometimes I read a book instead and sometimes I do nothing but hang out on the couch and watch Pink Panther cartoons with my kids.  Sometime around 6:30 we eat dinner .  After that I watch the news.  Then it's back to the computer or sometimes I just sit and watch whatever happens to be on at the time.  The kids get put to bed and then me and the wife usually watch TV until 10:00.  Then it's off to bed.

How's that for being inactive?  What's interesting is that I never used to be like this before we moved.  Before we moved, I was busy renovating our old house, or doing yard work, or sometimes I would just play with the kids.  Now I do nothing.  I have plenty that I could be doing, I have a huge list of projects that need to be done.  For some reason I keep telling myself I'll do them on the weekend but then the weekend comes and nothing gets accomplished.  I won't bore you with my typical weekend, but let's just say it's not much better than my workdays.

So the first order of business on being happy again is to start being more active.  I have my list of activites and it's time to just get started.  I'm going to try to stay off the computer and TV until 8:00PM during the week.  That gives me a lot of time to get things done around the house.  We've been in our new house for almost a year and a half and I haven't done hardly anything to it to make it feel like our home (probably another source of unhappiness).

What's cool is that if I start being more active again, not only should I feel better, but it should also help me with losing weight.  Based on my diet I should be losing about 2 pounds a week, but lately it's been more like 1.  That other pound isn't coming off because I'm not moving around enough.

So wish me luck as I try to get moving a little more and mope around a little less.  Good luck to everyone out there, I hope everyone has good numbers this weekend.    

Journal Update - 1/31/10

Typically I have been only making journal entries once a week on Fridays (just before my Saturday weigh-in), but I've noticed that my journal entries are starting to get longer and longer.  So I'm going to try to get out 2 journal updates a week, one after the weekend and one at the end of the week. 

All in all it was a pretty good weekend for me.  If anyone read my last journal entry they know that last week was a tough week for me.  On Saturday I weighed in and actually gained 0.6 pounds.  I also woke to 8" of snow on the ground. 

After weighing in, I decided to go downstairs and get a good workout in.  In my workout plan I told myself that I would not miss workouts, but if I did I would make them up on the weekend.  Last week I skipped both of my elliptical workouts and Friday's strength training workout.  I started with making up my strength training workout, and when I was done with that I decided to continue on and make up one of my elliptical workouts. 

After breakfast I went outside to shovel.  We got 8" here in VA (a lot for this area) and I had to shovel my entire driveway by hand (about 100 feet long).  By the time I was done I was feeling pretty beat but happy with the amount of exercise I got for the day.  At lunch my wfe made these healthy little pizzas.  They were really good; I'm going to share the recipe on this blog sometime this coming week.

Sunday came and I needed to get another workout in.  For some reason I really needed to make up for all my slack last week.  I got my elliptical workout in before breakfast and the I felt great.  I think it was the sense of accomplishment for making up all the missed workouts that really got me going.  Anyway, after breakfast I had to go out and shovel again (only 1 inch this time and then I had to clean up where the plow came through) so I got another 30 minutes of exercise in.  Then we took the kids to a winter carnival.  I behaved myself; no junk food and I brought water and apple slices to hold me over.  After that we went out for lunch for our weekly cheat meal.  Again I did well; we went to a buffet and I ate 1 plate of salad, 1 plate of entrees, and 1 small dessert.  I also drank water.

I am really happy at the moment and I feel like I'm getting my mind back on track.  By the way I also haven't smoked all weekend so I'm definitely getting a boost from that accomplishment as well.  I also think the blog and the blog community are helping me out.  By having to write it down I'm definitely thinking things through, and the support from others as well as reading other people's blogs helps to remind me that I'm not alone with these problems.  In fact, Esther wrote a neat little article talking about "thinking" all the time.  I was as if it was speaking to me when I read it.  Go check it out right here.

I've also picked up a few more followers recently:

Not of This World has just started a weight loss blog called "Chubarella"

TJ Has a blog called "The Fat Chick's Dating Manifesto".  Even if you are not a single female looking for dating advice, she's got a cool writing style and makes for interesting reading.

Eat to Live has a fairly new blog called "Eat to live in 2010".  Lately ETL has started to see how powerful and supportive the blog community can be.

Brad has a blog called "Adaptive Biggest Loser 2010".  If you are into competitions like the biggest loser, this might be blog you want to check out.

Anyway, thanks to each of you for following my blog.  Good luck on each of your journeys.

Journal Update - 1/29/10

When I started this blog, I told myself that throughout the process I was going to keep the tone positive and not generate a negative attitude. That’s going to be tough with the week I’ve had. First let me offer a primer; everything that went wrong with this week is all in my head! I had no major events that triggered my behavior and I just simply am having a hard time right now. It’s all mental which has always been the issue with me. I share all this information about being healthy because I know how to live a healthy life. Where I seem to struggle is having a healthy mind to go along with it.

The week started with another good weigh-in. For 3 weeks I’ve posted losses and was feeling pretty good about it. We needed a new printer for a while now and the kids had some Christmas money to spend so we decided to go into town and do some shopping. We also decided that we would go out for lunch as our cheat meal. We started at Walmart because I had a gift card I wanted to use up. We got a few things and then my wife took the kids to the bathroom. While she was gone I went back into the store, proceeded to the checkout, and bought a pack of cigarettes. Now before I go further, let me demonstrate the significance of that decision with a little background.

5 Years ago I was a pack-a-day smoker and weighed 320 pounds. My very first act toward living a healthier life was to quit smoking. It was the second toughest thing I’ve ever gone through (I’m still going through the first), but I did it and it was a great help. I was sleeping better, and had a sense that I had accomplished something important. I did gain some weight and topped out at 349 before I started focusing on my weight. Fast forward to last year; and the world was in a recession. My mom and sister both lost their jobs and the potential that I was going to lose mine was very high. Throw in the fact that we had just moved from NY to VA and I was pretty stressed out. On the day they announced a major layoff at my facility I smoked a cigarette. It tasted like crap, but that one cigarette triggered 6 months of slowly moving my way back to ½ a pack a day. At the end of the year I realized that I had to stop soon or I would be suffering as bad as I did 5 years ago, so I quit (again) on New Year’s Eve. I managed to go 3 weeks without smoking before heading into Walmart over this last weekend.

What’s strange is that I really didn’t feel a craving to smoke. In fact, the whole process of buying the pack and smoking that first one was more like being on autopilot; I just did it without even giving it anything thought at all. After that cigarette, however, my mind came back and the fireworks began. My brain starting playing out all sorts of discussions while we drove to the next store.  I beat myself up, then I forgave myself… I blamed the diet, then I told myself to stop making excuses... I told myself to just throw them out, then I convinced myself that it was wasting money. It’s amazing how many thoughts went racing through my mind in just a very short period of time!  After a few more stores, we ended up at a restaurant where I proceeded to eat much more than I planned to.  Of course that only added to my sense of failure. 

I spent most of Sunday as a slug on the couch.  I didn't do bad eating but I was still working on that pack of cigarettes.  Hanging around all day doing nothing just brought on more thinking only by the thoughts had spread from just failing at smoking to everything that's wrong with my life.  this is what happens to me, I have a setback, and then I have to analyze everything that's wrong in my life (most of which is really unfounded).

By Sunday evening I was back to convincing myself to get on track so I threw out the last few cigarettes I had and renewed my commitment to living a healthy life. 

Monday turned out to be a good day; I worked out in the morning and went all day without smoking.  I felt like I was getting back on track. 

Tuesday turned into another train wreck.  I had to go into work at 4:00AM so I woke up tired and of course did not have time to work out.  I got to work and found myself bumming cigarettes again.  Once again the battles in my mind started back up. 

I'm not going to run through the rest of my week day by day, but suffice it to say, it was very much a repeat of the beginning of the week.  I didn't eat all that bad, and I did get some water in, but my head just wasn't into it.  This is something that has derailed me before.  I have a steback and my mind turns it into a major atrocity for which I should be flogged publicly at the town square.  Next my mind holds me hostage preventing me from getting back on the wagon by filling me with doubts and reminders of all past failures.  For those of you who can relate to what I'm saying, you know how defeating and frustrating it can be.

So I said I would try to remain positive so that's what I'm going to finish off with.  Not everything is as bad as I make it out to myself:

• For starters, I did not eat all that bad this week and I did get my strength training workouts in.  I am not expecting to lose weight, but I think I will come out somewhere around 0.  It could've been much worse; I've had bad weeks before where I put on 5+ pounds. 
• I'm also feeling a bit better today and I'm out of cigarettes.  The urge to smoke at home is much less than the urge at work, so it gives me an opportunity to try again over the weekend.   
• I'm also still here.  I still have my job and both my mom and sister eventually found new employment.  I still have all my limbs and I have a great family to provide me with motivation to continue on. 
• Lastly, and this is important, I'm starting to recognize these patterns that lead to the destructive behavior.  During the week I had some time to reflect on the situation and the more I thought through it, the easier it was to see the pattern.  Now I laid it all out nicely in this entry for others to follow, but at the time these things were happening to me my mind was a big jumble of thoughts and emotions.  Looking back at the week and analyzing where I could have made some small changes is a small step towards slaying my demons for good.  I have to be ready because there will be more slips down the road.

Anyway, tomorrow is another day.

Journal Update - 1/22/10

Another week is coming to a close and I'll face the scale yet again tomorrow.  No worries though, I think I did pretty well this week.  I managed to do all my strength training workouts and I only missed my Thursday elliptical workout (with good reason).  I'll be making up the elliptical workout on Saturday per my exercise plan.

As far as eating goes, I'm still doing good (not great, just good).  Last Saturday I went to a friend's house to watch some football.  I had a few beers and some chips, but definitely did not eat like a pig like I usually do.  One of my friends and I started a conversation about running a marathon.  In the end we decided it would be cool to run a 5K together.  He said he was going to look into it for me and find a run we can do, I'll see if he actually follows up on it.  This would be another great motivator for me to have to train to run a race.  I'm so out of shape, I'm not even sure if I could walk 3.2miles let alone run. 

On Sunday I took the family out to eat and I enjoyed my 1 weekly cheat meal (part of my plan).  What's nice is that I've stopped looking at the menu in restaurants trying to figure out what item will provide me with the largest quantity and instead looked for something with some really good flavor.  I ended up with a burger that was loaded with caramelized onions, roasted red peppers, and some Cajun sauce that made the whole thing out of this world!  I really enjoyed that burger, all the flavors just really came together.  It's nice to have a cheat meal and really enjoy it.

The week started a little rough for me.  I ate right Monday during the day, but the wife and I became enablers to each other on Monday night and we talked ourselves into getting a chocolate cake.  I had a slice on Monday night and then again on Tuesday night.  It certainly didn't help my cause, but I guess it could have been worse.

Other than the cake, the rest of my week has been good.  I've been eating normal portions and drinking lots of water.  Typically I eat around 2500 calories and get about 80-100 ounces in each day.  I ate a lot of fruits and vegetables; I'm really starting to enjoy them a lot! 

I'm definitely feeling a lot better these days.  Last week I was hungry all the time and I think it was just my body getting used to the new exercise routine.  This week the hunger was not as bad and I hope it shows on the scale.  I'm not exactly sure how to describe it, but my mind just feels a little sharper as well.  I was more productive at work this week and I think it has to do with the exercise.  I work out in the morning and it gives me a boost to starting my day.  I've been in this situation before and I like it a lot.  I look back and wonder why I ever stopped working out in my past failed attempts to lose weight.

Lastly, I've also started seeking out other bloggers to follow and some have started following my blog as well.  I have to admit with 3 very young kids and an extremely busy job, I have a hard time even finding time to write, let alone follow others.  However, I am amazed at all the support out there.  Every blog I've been to is full of supportive comments; it's really cool to see everyone helping each other out that way.  I've always had the knowledge on how to physically lose weight, but it's been the mental side of it that has always kept me down.  I'm hoping that by being part of this community it will help to give me that mental edge to see this journey through to the end.  I also feel this sense of accountability when I have to post my weight each week, it's definitely helping me to stay motivated.  Thanks to Esther, Phil, Chubby Chick, and Weezel who have all recently started following my blog, I look forward to contributing to this community as we all battle this demon.

Tomorrow I'll post the results of my weigh-in; I'm expecting another loss, but you never really know until you step on.  Wish me luck!

Journal Update - 1/15/10

As the week draws to a close, I can’t help but feel happy that in terms of both diet and exercise, this has probably been the best week I’ve had since I started. The wife and I decided to stay home last weekend instead of going out (something we usually do at least once a weekend). We had some good meals including some delicious homemade spaghetti. Also over the weekend I managed to get my workout plan complete and finalized.

Monday started with hitting the home gym first thing in the morning. Since then I’ve been pretty sore most of the week as my body adapts to lifting weights again. I did all my workouts, including the cardio workouts on Tuesday and Thursday. I’ve also been feeling hungrier all week. Again, I think my body is adjusting to more activity and I have tried to eat a little more but do it smartly.

On Wednesday I got an email from an old friend in Vermont. He’s always been a healthy sort of person so he was glad to hear that I’m taking the steps to become a healthier person. He suggested training for a road race as something that might help keep me motivated. I have to admit, I’d love to be able to do something like that but at the same time It seems a bit overwhelming to me. I am giving it some serious thought though it might have to be something I look forward to next year.

His email also got me thinking a lot about my past and how I’ve overcome other problems in my life. When I was in college I actually had 2 distinct college careers. In the first career my days and nights were spent drinking, partying, and essentially wasting my time at school. At one point I was nearly kicked out of college. My second college career involved working hard, studying, and finishing college with some really good grades and job offers from everyone I interviewed with. People often assume that my wife was the catalyst from college career 1 to college career 2, but the reality is she just happened to show up about that time. The real reason why I changed is that I realized I had to change my mindset. It wasn’t as easy as saying “I’m going to do better”, I had to take a long hard look at all my habits and address them. Part of the problem was that I didn’t know how to be a good student. I had to learn this by hanging out with other good students (such as my good friend from VT). This meant less time for my drinking buddies which led to my other problem I had to work through. I had to recognize that I couldn’t change my friends as well. Because of that I actually had to give up most of them. To this day the only person who I keep in touch with from college career 1 is my old roommate.

I look at this new journey I’m on and I can see a lot of parallels to my college days. I’m beginning to see that I really don’t know what it means to live a healthy life and the people I hang out with are generally like me. I’m not suggesting I need to give up all my friends for healthy friends, but I definitely need to expand my horizons a little and start looking at people who find enjoyment out of being healthy. My good friend in VT is one of those people, but I also need to focus more on getting involved in more healthy activities where I live (like road races, volunteering to coach sports, etc) so I can meet and learn from healthy people. When that happens I may get some resistance from my current circle of friends, but I also need to recognize that I can’t change them and that some of them may not remain good friends after a while. When you decide to make a change like this it definitely is not just a small change, it impacts every aspect of your life.

Anyway, this journal entry definitely went off on a pretty big tangent, but I think it’s important to get this stuff out when I realize it. Someday I may want to go back and read these entries to remind myself and reinforce the change.

I’m hoping for a great weigh-in tomorrow, but at the same time I am being optimistically cautious. Knowing that my body has been out of balance all week adjusting to working out, I would not be surprised if I don’t lose as much as I think I should. I have seen similar results in the past; we’ll see tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Journal Update - 1/7/10

It’s been a while since I wrote anything meaningful on this blog. Other than reporting my weight I haven’t really put any time into writing articles or even journal entries. To be honest, the last few weeks have not been good to me. The last 3 weeks have been extremely stressful. Some of the stress is just life but I also bring a lot on myself.

Three weeks ago I was just starting to get back into exercising. The big problem, even though I was getting some workouts in here and there, I hadn’t created a firm plan. To date I still do not have a firm exercise plan. The week before Christmas brought the usual holiday stress. Gifts, traffic, weather… You name it and it was stressing me out. One thing I know about myself is that I am much more successful when I can maintain my normal daily routine. I only had to work Monday and Tuesday that week, so my routine was thrown way off. You would think the extra time would have been perfect for setting up a workout plan, but it never seemed to happen. I did manage to work out on Wednesday, but it was only a 20 minute jaunt on the elliptical trainer.

On the day after Christmas we took off for vacation. Believe it or not, but this was not a vacation I was looking forward to. I’ve got so many things I would have rather done at home than go on vacation, but it was essentially free as my wife’s parents offered to let us stay at their timeshare. I brought my laptop thinking I might have some time to write a little, but the opportunity never materialized. The vacation was fun and my kids had a great time but as I said I couldn’t help think there were so many things I needed to do at home. During the vacation I ate pretty well and drank a lot of water. The unit we stayed in had a kitchen so we ate in every night but one and even then I didn’t overdo it. I also got quite a bit of exercise in during the trip as we took our kids to several museums and science centers so I got to do a lot of walking. The complex we were at also had a state-of-the-art fitness center so I got a couple workouts in as well. Unfortunately I definitely over-did it one day. I’m used to lifting free weights at home, but this place had all the machines that target specific muscle groups. It was so easy to move from machine to machine without having to set things up that I ended up doing a whole lot more in an hour than I usually do. I paid the price the following days with a lot of sore muscles!

We got back from vacation on New Year’s Eve. No rest for the wicked as we had friends coming over for the evening. They arrived just as we finished unpacking. It was a fun party and I definitely ate more junk than I should have, but you have to let your hair down once in a while.

New Year’s Day brought more stress with my main resolution. 5 years ago I quit smoking. For some really stupid reason, I actually started smoking again about 6 months ago. Granted I’m not smoking a pack a day like I used to but it’s been slowly creeping back into my life. So my main resolution this year is to get back off the smokes again. I knew the first couple days would be tough to eat right and not smoke so I told myself that I wouldn’t worry about my eating for the first 3 days. I also told myself that I would try to keep myself busy during the last 3 days of my vacation so I wouldn’t have time to think about smoking or eating. I have a million things to do around the house anyway.

Unfortunately my plans were all for not as I developed a bad case of the flu! I’m sure being stressed and constantly on the go helped wear me down and of course now I’m even more stressed as I’ve been laying in bed sick for the last 4 days! I suppose there has been an upside to being sick; I haven’t eaten much in the last few days and quitting smoking is a breeze when you are sleeping all day long.

That brings me back to the here and now. I’m still recovering from the flu but I’m well enough to go back to work. I still have a ton of stuff to do around the house, and it will wait until I get to it. I’m eating OK though I’ve been really hungry the past couple days (probably due to not eating while sick). Right now I’m just trying to survive until the weekend. Hopefully at that time I can manage to get myself caught back up and I really want to get my exercise plan going. Although it’s been a rough few weeks, I’m not giving up. I knew there would be tough times and I plan to fight through them and pick myself up. Wish me luck!

Journal Update 12/18/09

It has been a while since I last made a journal entry. I have decided to start posting my journal entries at the end of the week rather than at the beginning. It was starting to feel like my journal entries were more about explaining why I lost or gained weight instead of actually writing about how I did.

From my last weigh-in you can see that I did not have a stellar week. Because of my previous victory in the week before last, I cut myself some slack over the weekend. Part of that slack included 2 trips out eat and one of those was to a buffet where I definitely ate more than I should have. Mind you, I’ve been much worse, but I definitely lost control on that trip. In my last journal entry I indicated that I wanted to start exercising and I set a goal to exercise at least 3 times during the week. Unfortunately that did not happen. Instead I put it off and put it off until there were only 3 days left. Of course as fate would have it, I ran into issues at work that required me to work 2 extremely long days leaving very little opportunity to get some exercise in. Thankfully, the busy end to my week is probably what saved me from actually gaining weight. I was on my feet most of the time and missed dinner twice settling for a small snack instead. I knew it would be tough during the holiday season and I am grateful to have remained at the same weight through last week.

This week, however, has been a different story. I have managed to get some workouts in this week. Though I have not finished hammering out my workout plan, I decided I couldn’t put it off any longer. I did three 30 minute workouts this week and am happy to have accomplished that goal. On Monday I did strength training and focused on my upper body and on Tuesday I did an elliptical workout. By Wednesday I was a little sore so I took a break but then on Thursday I did another strength training workout and focused on my lower body. I am a little sore, but I did take my own advice on exercising and started out slowly. Today I had planned on another workout, but mother nature had a better exercise plan. At this point we have received 10 inches of snow so I decided I better get shoveling as we are expected to get another 10 inches overnight. My driveway is about 100 feet long so I got a nice workout shoveling snow for about 90 minutes.

I also ate really well this week. We did go out over the weekend, but we ate at Subway and I just got a footlong veggie sub and water. I had my one cheat meal on Wednesday (we took the kids out for ice cream) and the rest of the week I’ve managed to stay on my plan. My wife has been a great help; she’s made some really good meals lately (including a great vegetarian dish this evening) and she only makes just enough for everyone to eat plus 1 meal for my lunch the next day. It’s good because if I want eat too much at dinner I don’t because then I won’t have enough food at lunch the next day. I also got 60-80 ounces of water in each day, which always helps me lose weight. All in all I have to say it’s been a really good week and I am looking forward to getting on the scale tomorrow morning. Of course there’s always that chance that the scale won’t reflect the work I put in so I prepared for that. In the end I know I’m on the right track and right now that’s all that matters. Hopefully this weekend I’ll have time to complete my workout plan so I can get started on a regular routine. Wish me luck.

Journal Update 12/6/09

This was quite a satisfying week! I lost back everything I gained during Thanksgiving plus another pound for good measure. I mentioned before I thought I might have been retaining water last week and it appears I was correct. Normally, I would have looked at my weight last week and decided to give up, but I knew how well I had done on my trip and I decided to push on.


My eating was pretty good all week long and I drank a lot of water (probably about 60-80 ounces each day). I did have a couple cookies early in the week (remnants from the prior week) but for the most part I stuck to my plan. In a typical day I eat 5-6 times throughout the day:

1. 7:00AM My morning starts with oatmeal and blueberries.
2. 9:30AM A small protein snack and a piece of fruit.
3. 12:30AM Lunch (usually the leftovers from my previous night’s dinner) and a piece of fruit
4. 3:00PM Another small protein snack and a piece of fruit.
5. 6:00PM Dinner consisting of 4 ounces of protein, 1 cup vegetables, and a ½ cup of some carbohydrate
6. 8:30PM A Light Snack – Usually a fiber bar and a cup of green tea

A few times this week I missed one of my snacks, but it didn’t seem to bother me. I think my body is getting used to eating less food each day. It used to be that if I went more than 3 hours without eating, I would be starving and end up overeating the next meal. That wasn’t the case this week.

I still didn’t exercise regularly; I came back from my trip with another cold! I’m not sure why, but this winter has been tough on me with regards to being sick. Toward the end of the week my cold was diminished so I worked out on the elliptical trainer on Friday. I got a good 30 minutes in doing an interval workout.

I really want (and need) to get going with the exercise. This week I’m going to try to get at least 3 sessions in and then go from there. I have free weights in my house and of course the elliptical trainer so I really have no excuses not to get started.

One thing I have to say is that I’m really happy with my progress so far. I know it’s only been 4 weeks and I still have a long way to go, but I feel like I’ve found a nice balance here. I’m not feeling deprived and yet I’m still losing weight regularly. I think If I can just incorporate the exercise, I’ll be good to go. Wish me luck.

Journal Update 12/1/09

So the Thanksgiving week has passed and I'm left feeling a little disappointed about my weight.  Disappointed and surprised that I somehow manage to gain 4 pounds.  Part of me thinks that the weight gain isn't real and that I might be retaining water so we will see next week when I get on the scale again.  I said in the beginning of my journey that I would remain positive through this in good times and bad so I'm not going to dwell on this week for too long. 

I waited until today to post my journal update because I wanted to have a day to reflect on my experience this week.  I've said before weight loss is as much mental as it is physical and having setbacks is one of those hurdles I need to overcome.  As I thought more about my week I came to the realization that I really did a good job controlling my eating.  Here are some of the positives that I had during my week of 2 Thanksgiving dinners and 35 hours worth of driving time:

1. In all my travels through the holiday week, I did not stop at a single fast food place.  I also did not buy any junk food at gas stations or rest stops.  For me this is huge; when you are on the road it's too easy to eat junk whenever you make a stop.  We packed a bunch of healthy snacks in a cooler so when I got hungry I didn't need to stop and get something unhealthy.  The closest I came to eating fast food was a 6" veggie sub from Subway in the last leg of my trip.
2. I drank a lot of water - I drank at least 80 ounces of water every day while I was away.  It meant a few extra stops along the way, but that was ok since we had our dog with us and she enjoyed the stops as well.  I did drink a couple Starbucks coffees and I had a few glasses of wine at dinner time, but for the most part I was drinking water.
3. I did not over-eat at any of the meals I had - I mentioned in a previous post that my family and I were going to Chinese Buffet on Wednesday.  Well at that dinner I had 1 plate with some sushi and 1 more regular size plate.  For dessert I had fruit and a little pudding.  On Thanksgiving I had 1 plate of food and on Thanksgiving #2 I did the same again.  For desserts, I went with moderation.  Instead of having 2 or 3 pieces of pie, I cut small slivers from each kind to sample.  Instead of cookies I ate fruit.  I'm not going to pretend that I ate only healthy foods, but the point is when I was done with each meal I didn't feel like a blimp.
4. I actually exercised...one day - On Thursday morning I took advantage of the hotel gym and worked out for over an hour.  I spent 15 minutes on a stationary bike, 30 minutes lifting weights, and another 20 minutes walking/running on a treadmill.

So you can see why I'm a little puzzled as to how I could have gained so much weight in just a week.  I would have understood if I had stayed at my current weight, but I did not eat enough to gain that many pounds.  Did my metabolism slow down from all the driving?  I suppose that's possible.  Or maybe I'm retaining a lot of water.  If so I should see the weight come right back off this week, so time will tell on that one.  It doesn't really matter because I know that if I had eaten on this trip like I have on trips past, things could've been a lot worse. 

Part of this journey is recognizing that events are going to happen that will make it hard to lose weight.  If I can do really well during the normal weeks and contain the damage during the non-routine times, I think I'll be in pretty good shape.  People tend to think of weight loss as a linear thing (I'll lose a pound a week for the year and then be 52 pounds lighter).  That just isn't the case.  There's going to be times when the weight comes off easily and there will be times when it won't come off at all.  The idea is to keep going and not give up when it gets hard because that's what I've always done in the past.  I can't tell you how many times I've been on a diet for 4-6 weeks only to stop once the weight loss slows down.  This time I want to get over that hump and keep going so I can hopefully reach my goal. 

So sow I've had my first bump in the road and it hasn't shaken me.  I'm back at home and back into my normal routine.  Hopefully it will be a really good week.  Wish me luck.

Journal Update 11/22/09

As you can see from my last post I managed to have another good week.  In fact, I feel like it has been a great week because it was a very hard week for me and I still managed to take some weight off.  I worked a lot this week and had a really important but stressful project due on Friday.  Usually when my routine changes it gives me an excuse to stop eating right.  I managed to pull it off and I feel really good about it.  I was still shaking off a cold for most of the week so still no exercise yet.  I didn't track my calories either, but I did eat right all week long.  Last Sunday my wife made a small pan of brownies, I ate 1 small piece on Sunday and then another small piece Monday night.  For me this was another small victory (small victory #3) because usually when my wife makes brownies, they are usually gone the day they are made.

The middle of the week brought the usual challenges.  In preparing for finishing my big project (Thursday and Friday) I was very busy.  I struggled a little getting my water in but always got at least 60 ounces each day.  I ate balanced meals and I've also discovered a great oatmeal breakfast:

1/2 Cup Oatmeal
1 Cup 1% Milk
3/4 Cup Frozen Blueberries

Mix the 3 items in a bowl and microwave for 1 minute 3 times stirring in between each time (3 minutes total).  Let sit for about 5 minutes to thicken up and then drizzle a little honey on it.  It tastes great and is just under 400 calories!  I had it every work day this week for breakfast.

The end of the week brought my biggest challenge yet.  On Friday we had completed our final presentation for closing the project.  All went extremely well so as a reward my friend and I bought our team lunch as a "thank you" for working so hard (they did a really great job).  By the time we got the pizza I was starving.  At first I told myself that I would just go to my office and eat the lunch I brought, but as the leader of the project, that really didn't feel right not to participate with the rest of the team.  Instead I decided that I would only eat 2 pieces of pizza.  I ate my 2 pieces and drank water instead of soda (small victory #4).  I wanted to eat a whole pizza myself, but I knew I had to weigh in the next morning and I think that helped me stay on course.  Afterward I felt great!  It was nice to have a celebration with my team and not eat like a pig.

Since I met my goal for the week, I cut myself some slack this weekend.  However, unlike last weekend, this time I managed to control myself a little better.  On Saturday we took the kids out for lunch.  Being kids, their idea of a good meal is the local pizza buffet.  I have to say, buffets are my arch nemesis.  I have probably gained more weight from buffets than any other restaurant type including fast food joints.  I mentioned it before in a previous post that I have a hard time separating value and cost.  At buffets I feel like I have to get the most for my money so I eat and eat and eat whether I'm hungry or not.  This time was going to be different.  All week long I've been realizing how much my weight problem is in my head.  I went into that restaurant convinced that I was going to enjoy myself, but under no circumstances was I going to come back out feeling like a big fat pig.

I started off with a salad and even though my wife paid for me to have a soda, I got water instead.  Usually when I go to a pizza buffet, I usually get 2 slices of everything I like and 3 slices of anything I really like.  Then for dessert I get at least 2 of everything.  This time I decided to only get 1 slice of the kinds I like and then I didn't eat the crusts.  Why fill up with all that crust on the end of each pizza, all it does is sit like a rock in your stomach.  I also made an effort to actually taste the pizza instead of just wolfing it down.  It was nice, I actually enjoyed all the flavors from the different pizzas I like.  After that I had 1 small piece of each of the desserts and that was it!  Now I know this isn't exactly a knockout as far as calories go, but for me this is huge.  I have NEVER walked out of a buffet without feeling absolutely stuffed.  On Saturday I did just that and it felt great! (small victory #5)

Now it's time for my first really big challenge.  Thanksgiving week is finally here.  On Tuesday night I'm driving all the way up to Maine to visit with my family.  I'm really excited to go, but I know it will be difficult to eat right.  First I have to drive 14 hours through the middle of the night.  It's hard to eat healthy on the road, but we are packing a lot of healthy snacks so I don't have to stop a lot along the way.  When we get there we are going out with my family for dinner on Wednesday.  The place has already been decided; Chinese Buffet!  Everyone in my family is overweight and usually when we get together it usually turns into a pig-fest.  I love Chinese, so my big challenge here will be to do as well as I did when I went to pizza buffet.  Of course the next day is Thanksgiving so I'll have to watch myself there.  After that, we drive back to NJ to visit with my in-laws before going home on Sunday.

In order to survive this trip I'm going to need a plan:

1. I already mentioned, we are going to pack a lot of healthy snacks for the drive up.  By packing healthy snacks it should help me to resist the temptations to eat junk from convenience stores or fast food restaurants.
2. I'm going to have to find ways to get some exercising during the trip.  I already know my calorie intake is going to be higher than usual so I need to burn a little more.  The hotel we are staying at has a gym so I plan on hitting it for at least 30 minutes each day we are there.  I'm also going to try to get some exercise in on the days before we leave.
3. During all the family get togethers, I am going to try to focus on eating really slow.  I haven't seen my family for quite some time, so if I spend more time talking than eating, I should be able to keep my calories down some.
4. I'm going to have fun!  If I feel like I'm suffering on this trip it's only going to push me toward a binge at some point.  I'm not going to worry about every little bite and I definitely want a piece of my mom's pecan pie.  Remember this is a lifestyle change so I have to be able to deal with family events.

Wish me luck, I'm probably going to need it.

Journal Update 11/14/09

It was a decent week for me. As I reported in my last post I managed to drop 5 pounds. Though it's certainly positive, there are still some oppotunities for improvement. At the same time I also managed to fight off some temptations.

Monday was probably my best day of the week. I ate all my meals and snacks as planned and got 100 ounces of water in. Tuesday was a little tougher. On Tuesday I could feel the start of a cold coming on so I felt lousy most of the day. To make matters worse I was hit with a big temptation. The factory I work at today was having a pizza party for great performance last month. This is where I struggle the most. For some reason I have a hard time separating value and cost. The pizza, soda, and cookies are all free but they have very little value. With the exception to providing me with a short term euphoria from scarfing down large quantities of free food, there’s really nothing else it can offer me. My choice… I ate the lunch I packed and then went out to my vehicle to work on my blog (small victory #2).**

Of course the food remained in the cafeteria all day and I couldn’t help but notice every time I went to refill my water. I stayed the course though, but it was tough. Hard to believe such a simple thing is so hard to control.

By Wednesday and Thursday I was pretty sick. I would've taken a day off if not for the tremendous amount of work I have going on right now. In the manufacturing world, the end of the year can be quite busy for engineers. Usually there's a big push to get everything done and paid for before the next yearly budget. Anyway, I still ate my meals and snacks, but I didn't drink much water. I might have gotten 20 ounzes in each day.

Friday brought the end of the week and I could feel the desire to go out dinner creeping in. Fortunately I got home late and my wife had already started dinner (a delicious salmon dish) so I didn't have the opportunity to ask her about going out.

Today I had to go into work, but not before getting on the scale and learning how well I did. As I mentioned before, by meeting my weekly goal I am allowing myself a few indulgences, but unfortunately I went a little too far today. When I got to work someone had bought sausage biscuits from the local fast food place. I had 2; not too bad for breakfast, but it didn't end there. At 9:00AM we had our morning meeting and again someone else brought breakfast sandwiches and doughnuts. I had one more sandwich (bacon, egg, and cheese) and a doughnut. So much for moderation!

All in all it was still a good week. It's funny, usually when I go on a diet, I hit it really hard the first week and then taper off each successive week. This time I'm taking my time and rolling things out slowly. I'm not in a hurry because this isn't a diet; it's a new way of living. I wrote down everything I ate in my food journal but I haven't checked the calories yet, and I haven't even started exercising. Maybe by taking my time, I won't get so ovewhelmed by change and fall off the wagon. Until next time...


** - Note small victory #1 was actually getting this blog started!