Day #87 - My "Cheat Day" Perspective

Today I read a great blog post from Richard over at "Health Journey" (You can go see the actual  post HERE).   Richard indicated that he has a hard time with “cheat days” as well as comments people make about “being too hard on yourself”. 

I agree with Richard in one of those areas, sometimes I think people are quick to say “Don’t beat yourself up too much” to others.  If we are talking about someone who’s going on and on because they gave in and ate 1 Hershey Kiss at lunch time, then yes that person probably shouldn’t be beating themselves up.  But if you decided to eat half a pig because the moon was full then you should probably beat yourself up a little.  Accept responsibility, learn from it, and move forward.  It doesn’t mean you have to flog yourself for two weeks, but you should probably feel a little shame.  Hold yourself accountable at an appropriate level to the infraction.

Now on the “cheat days” I disagree (sort of).  For starters I hate the term “cheat day” because it automatically denotes doing something you shouldn’t do.  I use the term “unrestricted day”.  Call it what you want, what we’re talking about here is a day where you can eat whatever you want.  I’m a big fan of the unrestricted day and I have one every week.

One of the biggest struggles people have with losing weight is the feeling or restriction.  Right or wrong we have foods that we simply love to eat.  When you restrict your diet to lose weight there are some things that you simply will not be able to eat on a regular basis.  Cut them out forever and you begin to feel deprived.  Feel deprived of something and now you just want it more!  The only way to prevent that feeling is to allow that food in moderation. 

Most of us trying to lose weight suck at moderation (duh) so having a rule that helps with moderation only makes sense.  I absolutely love a toasted everything bagel with peanut butter.  I eat two on every one of my unrestricted days and because of that I’m perfectly fine eating oatmeal and hard boiled eggs the other six days of the week.  Does that sound like a reasonable compromise to you?

Now having said all that I do think the devil is in the details.  If Richard is referring to people who just announce “I decided to have a cheat day because I was totally stressed out and deserved a treat” then I agree with him that cheat days aren’t helping that person get healthy.  However , with just a few simple rules to govern the day, you can turn it into something that’s quite helpful.  Here are my rules about “unrestricted days”:

1. I choose the day ahead of time; it does not choose me.  Most of the time I have my unrestricted day on Sunday.  We tend to do a lot of hiking or going on family trips so often we’ll end up packing sandwiches (I don’t eat processed grains during the week) or go out at lunch or dinner time.  On occasion we will proactively move it to Saturday if we’ve got a good reason (Child’s birthday party, Travel day, Visitors).  The most important point though is that we never change on the day.  If I’m driving by 5 Guys on Thursday and feeling like a big burger with fries; I can’t simply call it my cheat day and stop in.
2. It is not a reward for “good” behavior.  I get my unrestricted day regardless of how I did the rest of the week.  It is not a reward for good behavior and it cannot be taken away for bad behavior either.  Don’t reward or deny yourself with food.  My unrestricted day is not a reward, it is a choice that’s part of my overall weight loss plan.
3. Unrestricted does not equal “guilt free”; I’m still accountable for the choices I make.  During the week my choices are restricted somewhat.  On my unrestricted day my choices are not restricted but I’m still accountable for what I do.  If I treat it like a “get out of jail free” card, then am I really committed to my plan?  Having this day doesn’t allow me to shed my responsibilities to myself it just gives me some freedom around the choices I make

Now I’m not going to lie and say that none of my unrestricted days ever went too far.  I’ve had a few free-for-alls that would rival anyone else’s binge stories.  But I’ve also fallen off the wagon on my other “normal” days.  A failure is a failure regardless of what day it happened on; the unrestricted day didn’t cause that failure, I did.  I’ve also had unrestricted days were I had less calories than a “normal” day; most of the time I still just have normal meals, but usually they contain things that might otherwise be out of bounds.  I usually have a dessert as well; my oldest daughter loves to bake so she usually makes us a special treat for that day. 

The unrestricted day is not a license to eat, but rather a tool to help you eat in moderation.  It has worked wonders for me, especially with deferring gratification (another problem we fat people sometimes have).  If I’m craving a big ole Sausage sandwich with peppers and onions I’ll tell myself that If I’m still craving it at the end of the week I’ll have it then.  A lot of times that craving goes away and by the time Sunday rolls around I don’t even care about it anymore.

This is just my opinion and maybe this process doesn’t work for everyone, but my most successful attempts have allowed for this type of weekly deviation.  Just like every other part of your healthy living journey, your plan has to be something you can live with.  If you are someone who constantly pigs out on your cheat day or you have multiple cheat days then maybe this doesn’t work for you.

Lastly, I want to say thanks to Richard for bringing up this topic and I encourage others to submit a post about it on their blogs.  It’s nice that we can share multiple points of view on a topic; that’s what makes this community strong.  What do you think?

Stay Strong!

 

[Photo: Flickr / trec_lit   ]

A Different Way to Deal With Stress

Yesterday was one of those days!  You know those days, right?  Those days when you are given every opportunity to make excuses.  Those days when the world is against your good intentions (or it least it feels that way).  Well for me, yesterday was one of those days. 

It started with the alarm at 5AM.  I woke up groggy and just physically rundown.  I don’t know if I didn’t sleep well or my body getting used to the lower calories but this was the most tired I’ve felt in a while.  I could have skipped my morning workout, I could have slept another hour, I could have went to Starbucks and got a big coffee.  I could have found an excuse… but I didn’t. 

Work was a nightmare.  My boss is out of town so I’m holding down the fort the best I can.  Everything is falling apart.  My Boss’s boss invites me to lunch.  I’ve committed to staying strictly to my plan for the first month.  “But this is a networking opportunity”, “It’s a free meal”, “You could just go with him to test your willpower by ordering only healthy items”.  I could have found an excuse to go… but I didn’t. 

More chaos in the afternoon. Everyone’s got a problem and when you are a Maintenance Manager everyone thinks their problem is the most important.  For some reason I’m starving.  On the ride home I start to think about going out for dinner.  I need to convince my wife, but how?  Prey on her weak points.  Suggest Chinese food, or tell her she looks like she needs a break tonight.  I could have found an excuse to go out… but I didn’t. 

Finally home at 6PM!  What the??  Two kids yelling at each other, and the third one’s crying.  Now my headache is getting worse.  Dinner is served; I’m done in 15 minutes.  Great healthy meal but for some reason I still feel like I’m starving.  The kids are still disputing (calmly now) but I’m getting pissed off at them and need to let it out.  I can’t take it anymore!  There’s a convenience store 5 minutes away.  I can get my old standby dessert; a cherry filled pie, a Hershey chocolate bar, and a cream soda to wash it all down.  Hey I deserve it right?  Look at the day I’ve had.  It’s only one night and I can start fresh tomorrow.  I went through all the excuses; I had all the reasons to do it… but I didn’t! 

Instead I tried something different.  I apologized to the kids for yelling at them and explained I’m just having a bad day.  I put on some workout clothes and I went downstairs.  I cranked up some hellacious tunes and I move my elliptical trainer as fast as I could for as long as I could.  30 minutes and 2.5 miles later I could barely catch my breath.  I was dripping in sweat, my headache was gone, and I was overcome by a huge sense of accomplishment. 

I’m not naïve to think that I’ve instantly changed into a new person, and I certainly know that not all days will end this way, but yesterday, for one day I didn’t let the excuses win! (Small victories #7, 8, 9, and 10). 

Stay Strong

[Photo: Flickr / bottled_void]