Dining Out... Why?

I was over at Candi’s Blog reading about how she has a problem with going out to eat and her story really struck a chord with me. As you all know I’ve been struggling over the last 20 or so days and one thing I will say is that I’ve started going out to eat pretty regularly again. Surprisingly, I never really thought about “why” until today. To give you some perspective on how addicted I am to dining out, last year I spent roughly $8000 on dining out. That’s a little more than $150 each and every week. Last year was the first year my wife and I started tracking that information and the final number actually made me sick to my stomach.

For years I’ve been telling myself that taking my wife and kids out to eat was a great way to give my wife (stay-at-home mom) a break from her daily grind. After giving it some thought, I now believe that to just be an excuse to go out, the real reason is just a little bit less altruistic…

Like Candi, I was part of a single parent family that did not have much money. When I went to college it took me 6 years to get my engineering degree because I had to work nearly full time to pay my way through. When I got my first job, it was like hitting the lottery! As you can expect, Engineers make pretty good money and I was not prepared to handle my new salary. For 2 years my wife and I went on a spending spree buying anything and everything that represented the “status” of having money. I wanted to show the world that I was not poor even if it meant spending more than I made. We bought new “loaded” cars and clothes and expensive furniture. After the first year we moved to Greensboro NC and that just opened up the door to even more spending on a fancy apartment in a gated community, big screen TVs, trips, and yes, going out to all the restaurants the south has to offer.

Now fortunately for me, this story doesn’t end with me going bankrupt. After those first few years, my wife and I both realized that money and status weren’t really making us happy and instead we chose to start living a life within our means and stopped worrying about what everyone else thought. 3 years later we had paid off our debts and were in the process of starting our wonderful family.

So what does this all have to do with going out to eat you might ask? Well to be honest, living a life where you truly don’t care what others think is much easier to say than to do. I’m starting to believe that my dining out is still my way of showing my family, friends, and complete strangers, that I can afford to do so. I think it’s a status thing for me; why cook my own food when I can pay someone else to do it for me and my family. As I write this it sounds absolutely terrible to me, but at the same time it feels true.

There have been times when I have taken my family out to eat for every single meal through the weekend! I’m not exaggerating, we’ve done this multiple times. What’s amazing is that there have been times when nothing sounds appealing to go out for and so we just drive around until we come across a restaurant that we are “willing” to go into. Chinese? No, had that yesterday. Mexican? not really feeling it. Burgers? Well I guess so since nothing else sounds appealing. Does this sound like the behavior of a normal person?

Dining out should be a special event, not a normal way of life and if I’m not going for the food but rather to show people that “I can”, then what’s the point? What’s even more ironic is that you would expect that if I’m going out to eat all the time because of status that I would be going to only the “expensive” places. You would be wrong… with 3 kids in tow we actually end up at a lot of the “Kid Friendly” places that typically have mediocre food at reasonable prices. How’s that for status?

I don’t have the solution to my problem, this is one of those self-realization posts where you don’t really fix anything, you just realize you are doing something wrong. I’m open to any comments about this or if anyone has a similar experience I would love to hear about it.

Oh yeah, and thanks to Candi for getting me thinking about this! Go check out her blog HERE.

Day 20 - Weight Loss Results

Starting Weight – 330

Day 10 Weight – 322

Current Weight – 319

Period Weight Loss – 3 Pounds

Overall Weight Loss – 11 Pounds

3 More pounds!  I'm happy, though I had set the period goal at 4 pounds and didn't quite get there.  One thing I forgot about, since I'm weighing in every 10 days instead of every week there will be some periods where I will go through 2 weekends between weigh-ins.  I've said before that weekends are my toughest time, and I probably should have taken that into account this time.  Regardless, I have lots of good things going on right now and there's still lots of opportunity as well.

What went well

My first highlight of the period has to be my performance on the Friday (1/18) right after my last weigh-in.  On the day before (The day I posted my last results), Virginia had a pretty severe snowstorm.  Well, not actually severe in my book (I lived in Maine for a while), but definitely enough to wreak havoc in the area.  No kidding, I had literally just posted my 10 day results and was getting ready to go read some of the blogs I'm following when the power went out at my house.  I live in a rural area and given the magnitude of the wet, heavy snow, I figured we might be getting ready to see an extended power outage.

By morning, my concerns appeared to be coming to reality as we still didn't have power and it was pretty cold in the house.  I had to go to work so I took a shower in the dark with what was going to be the last of the hot water.  It's funny, I didn't even think about healthy eating until after my shower when I suddenly realized that I couldn't cook my oatmeal and didn't dare open the refrigerator to get out some hard boiled eggs.  Not only that, but I didn't have any snacks or a lunch to bring either.

Now folks, let me tell you that these types of events in my life are exactly what I use as an excuse to stop eating healthy.  When I look back at my past failures, you can definitely see a pattern of me utilizing changes in my routine (vacation, special events, new job, etc) as a great excuse to stop living a healthy lifestyle.  What has me so proud is that this time I recognized it and told myself that I was going to have to find a way to deal with it.

I stopped at the local Sheetz for breakfast.  I was thrilled to discover they sold oatmeal at their deli; I got 1/2 cup of oatmeal with dried fruit, a small veggie breakfast wrap, and a cup of coffee.  For lunch it was back to Sheetz for a roast beef wrap, an apple, and a banana (I never even realized they sold fresh fruit!).  At dinner time I took the family to Red Robin and I had a plain burger with lettuce and tomato and a side salad instead of fries.

Fortunately, by the time we got home that evening the power had been restored!  I didn't even try to estimate the calories, but I suspect that If I did go over my 2500 calorie limit, it wasn't by much.  I might not have hit my calorie target and I certainly didn't get to spread my calories out over 4-6 meals, but this was a small battle that I won that could have had huge consequences if I had made different (poor) choices.

Although overshadowed by the power event, another aspect that went well for me was the beginning of establishing my morning routine.  I know I said I was going to write it out and put it on my bathroom mirror, but I didn't.  However I did see progress and I believe that by the end of the first 30 days I will be well on my way to following my morning routine every single day.  In fact, I actually got up this morning (on a Sunday) at my normal work week time and followed my morning routine.

Areas to Improve

As I said above, there is still plenty of room for improvement.  For starters, my water intake slipped a little.  I missed my water target 5 of the last 10 days, but what was more troubling to me was that I missed it for 3 consecutive days during the week.  I know my body and I know that the weight does not come off that well if I don't get my water in each day.  I actually believe I would've lost another pound and hit my target for the period if I had done better with my water consumption.

The other area that needs improvement is exercise.  Daily exercise is not a full blown habit for me just yet.  To be honest, I believe I only exercised on 4 of the 10 days this period.  As I lose more and more weight, it will get much harder to keep moving forward if  don't establish daily exercise as a habit.  However, I am far from beating myself up over this.  50 days ago I quit smoking!  20 days ago I started eating healthy!  I know I can't be perfect and change everything at once and I already have a lot of change going on right now.  At the moment my philosophy is this: Any exercise I do each day is better than what I used to do.  Some day soon I will need to work on this, but that day is not today.

Moving Forward

Like last time, I don't see the need to make any changes to my plan just yet, but their may be some small tweaks on the horizon (after my first 30 days).  I did hit my target for sticking to plan; I stuck to all the individual elements of my plan 76% of the time.  This was a little less than last period, and was mainly due to exercise (40%) and water (50%).

I'm setting this period goal at 4 pounds again.  I'm actually excited to get through these next 10 days; if I can lose the 4 pounds I will have lost 15 pound in my first 30 days. Not too shabby, in fact I only managed to lose 17 pounds during a 30 day weight loss challenge and I was starving myself and miserable the whole time. This time I'm much happier and so far (knock on wood) the change hasn't been too difficult.  Good luck to everyone out there!

Day 10 - Weight Loss Results

Starting Weight – 330
Current Weight – 322
Period Weight Loss – 8 Pounds
Overall Weight Loss – 8 Pounds

It’s hard for me to be critical about anything when I lose 8 pounds in 10 days, but as promised, I will look at both the positive and negative aspects of this last period:

What went well

Obviously I was doing something right to lose that much weight in just 10 days.  Without a doubt, my biggest success came from what I ate.  I stuck to my plan of 5-6 meals each day and kept my calorie total below 2500 calories on all but about 2 days (and I was only over by about 100 calories on those days).  I ate plenty of fruits and vegetables, and had a nice big breakfast to start my day off right.

I posted my plan this week, but I haven’t posted my goals yet (but I will soon).  One goal that I haven’t mentioned in any of my posts yet is that I am trying to stick to all the components of my plan 75% of the time.  What does that mean?  I have a list of items from my plan on a piece of paper in my bedroom.  Every night I put a check next to all the items that I met the target and at the end of the week I can add it up to see my % to plan.  I like this because it’s hard to be 100% perfect all the time.  In the last 10 days I was able to stay on plan 79% of the time.

I also did extremely well with my water consumption.  My goal on water is 100 ounces each day.  I did not have a day less than 80 ounces and that only happened twice.  The rest of the time I hit my target.

Lastly, I did a rigorous workout last Saturday.  Weekends are my Achilles’ heel; I have a tendency to become a lazy slob on the weekends.  Not only did I eat well all weekend, but on Saturday I completed 60 minutes of strength training first thing in the morning.

Areas to Improve

Although I had a great 10 days, there is still plenty of room for improvement.  For starters, I still haven’t been able to establish a morning routine.  As I’ve said before, this is very important for me to do.  I did well for about the first 2 or 3 days and then I started “ignoring” the alarm clock.  I think I need to write out my morning routine and post it on my bathroom mirror.  It might sound silly, but maybe that will help motivate me by seeing it every day.

Because my morning routine didn’t go so well, my exercise plan also died out as the days went by.  At first when I missed my morning workout I made it up in the evening, but eventually I started missing days altogether.  Sunday was an exercise disappointment after such a great workout on Saturday.

Finally, I also realized (too late) that I might have pushed myself a little too hard with the strength training.  Although the workout on Saturday was satisfying, by Sunday I was too sore to do anything and I basically felt that way up until Tuesday this week.  I’m not saying that’s the only reason why I didn't excercise, but it didn't help.

Moving Forward

I’m not going to change much for the second 10 days; I’ll be keeping my calorie and water targets the same.  I am going to set a goal to write out a morning routine and post it in my bathroom and I want to put some effort into doing it every day.  As for a new weight target, I’m going to go with 4 pounds in the next 10 days.  It was great to hit 8 pounds this period, but I know some of that was just water weight and it will be a little harder to shed the pounds in the next 10 days.  Best of luck to everyone else out there!

My New Weight Loss Plan

Ok so now it’s time to post my new weight loss plan.  I didn’t post it when I first started over because I was still working on it.  I wanted to have the first week to try it out and see if it needed any tweaks.  This plan is a little bit different than my last one, and some of you may be surprised at some of the items on my list.

The Usual Stuff – If you ran a search on Google for “Weight Loss Plans” most of the sites you would end up at would have some variant of these first 8 items on my list:

1. Exercise every day – No big shock on this one, you need to exercise to lose weight.  My plan is to get at least 30 minutes of exercise every single day.  It can be any type of exercise (cardio, strength, walking) as long as I am doing it specifically to get my daily exercise
2. Track calories and stay below my target – I debated this one quite a bit.  I hate keeping track of my calories, but the truth is I do much better when I’m recording what I eat.  My starting target is less than 2500 calories each day.  That might seem high to some people, but over the years I’ve learned that I don’t have to starve myself to lose weight.  I also have learned that if you try to restrict your calories AND increase your activity all at once, you can very quickly get overwhelmed.
3. Eat 5-6 Meals each day – It has become conventional wisdom that you are better off eating lots of smaller meals rather than just a few large meals.  It helps to keep your metabolism going and you are less likely to binge if you are getting something to eat every 3-4 hours.
4. Have some protein at every meal – Protein stays with you a lot longer than carbs and fat, plus it helps to rebuild muscle when you are strength training.
5. Limit processed and pre-packaged foods to once per day – Pre-packaged foods are full of stuff you really don’t need.  Though I’m not swearing off pre-packaged foods entirely, I am going to limit them.
6. Eat at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables each day – Besides being great for you, you can also eat a lot of fruits and vegetables for very little calories.
7. Set both Long and Short Term Goals – I’ll be posting my goals here in the days to come, but rest assured there will be long term and short term goals.  The short term goals will support the long term plan and all the goals will be SMART goals.
8. Regular Weigh-ins but not too often – I’ll be weighing myself every 10 days.  It’s plenty of time to at least see some sort of progress and not so long that I become obsessed and start sneaking peaks in between dates.

The Not-So-Usual Stuff – These next 10 items are more tailored to me and my personal style:

1. Establish a clear morning routine – This one might seem a little weird for a weight loss plan, but there is a method to my madness.  I will be writing a post in the near future about Keystone Habits, but for now you’ll have to trust me when I say this is probably one of the most important aspects of my plan.
2. Drink 100 ounces of water every day – You always hear how you should get 64 ounces of water every day.  I truly believe you need much more when you are trying to lose weight.  I know that 100 ounces sounds like a lot, but my most successful weight loss endeavors have come when I’m drinking lots of water.  It keeps me feeling full and helps flush out all the bad stuff from your system.
3. Eat a big breakfast  – This one might seem counterintuitive, but in order to get started on the right foot, you need fuel first thing in the morning.  Plus, if you skimp on breakfast you spend the rest of the day hungrier (my opinion anyway) than if you have a full meal.  My typical breakfast will be between 500-600 calories and will include protein, fruit, and complex carbs (such as oatmeal).
4. Post on my Blog Regularly – Submit posts on my blog at least weekly.  This helps me to stay accountable and connected to others that are fighting the fight.  It also keeps me thinking about being healthy.
5. Reduce Digital Entertainment – This one is designed to get at my evenings.  My typical evening involves me coming home, eating dinner, and then plopping my ass on the couch until bedtime.  My goal is to have no more than 2 hours of digital entertainment (TV, Wasting time on the computer, non-active Wii games, cell phone, etc.) each day.
6. Set Monthly Progress Reviews – I’m taking this page from work.  Every month I meet with my employees and we discuss their progress.  With these monthly reviews I can identify areas of concern and if I need to adjust my plan I can do that as well. 
7. Get Plenty of Sleep – You can find research just about everywhere that shows people who get enough sleep do better at losing weight, yet no one ever makes it part of their plan.  I’m going for at least 7 hours each night.
8. Prepare for failure – There will be times when I just completely fall off the wagon.  In order to be prepared for it, I have created a failure analysis form to fill out (taking another page from my work).  The idea is that if I sit myself down and go through the form right after a major failure, it will help me to prevent the same failure from happening again.  It’s also a way of holding myself accountable and getting myself right back on the wagon.
9. Allow Cheating – 1 to 2 meals each week can be anything I want.  This helps me to not feel like I’m being deprived of anything.  Note this is not considered a reward for healthy eating.  One of the biggest pitfalls in healthy eating is that sometimes people want to reward good behavior with bad behavior.  If you want to reward yourself, do it with something that isn’t bad for you.
10. Pay myself for success - One of my rewards will be cold, hard cash.  $10 will be going into an account for every pound I lose.  At certain milestones I will allow myself to use some of that money (no unhealthy purchases) to buy something and when I hit my ultimate goal, there will be enough in there for a pretty decent island vacation.
The last part of my plan isn't really about my weight loss, but rather about my life in general:
Enjoy Life and be Happy!  Afterall, what’s the point of being healthy if you are miserable?
 
Got an "interesting" item in your weight loss plan?  Leave a comment and tell me about it.

FogDog's Healthy Meals

I spend quite a bit of time at other weight loss blogger sites, and I'm always amazed at the number of people eating uninspired meals when they try to eat healthy.  It's hard to stay focused on a diet when the thought of your next meal is less appealing than the thought up cleaning up baby vomit.  Bad food at home is a sure-fire way to find yourself at the local drive-thru regularly.  One thing I can say about myself is that I just absolutely have to eat food that is more than just nutritious; it also has to be delicious.  Fortunately I've done a lot of trial and error on many healthy meals and recipes so I have a pretty good arsenal to draw from.  I've decided to share some of my favorites as part of my blog (note the new list on my sidebar).  Some will be full meals and others may just be healthy snacks.  I'll try to get a new one out each week as time permits.  I also found a great blog from written by Weezel that is all about recipes.  What I like about it is that this blogger is actually a food service director and she takes requests from her audience.  Not everything on her site is healthy, but many times she does offer healthy alternatives.  Feel free to check it out it's called "What's Cooking? ". 

Not all my recipes are designed from scratch.  Many of them have been modified or adapted from books, magazines and on the internet.  I've picked up quite a few ideas from my Men's Health Magazine  in their Abs Diet Recipes, they have some really good meals.  When appropriate I will reference the source of the inspiration or adaptation along with a link to the reference (when available).  These recipes are designed to have 3 key components to them:

1. They must be healthy (low in fat, calories, not swimming in salt, etc) 
2. They must be filling (what's the sense in eating a healthy meal if you are starving 2 hours later)
3. They must taste good (no rice cakes smeared with low fat cottage cheese)

Now please understand that many of these recipes will be high in protein.  I strive for balance in my meals, but I do tend to skew a little towards the high protein side.  That's because my workout consists of a lot of strength training so I eat a lot of protein to support muscle repair.  You may need to modify these recipes to suit your own needs or tastes.  If you do find an alteration that works well, please feel free to share in the comments section as I am always looking for new ideas. 

Also note that I almost never use anything "light", "fat free", "reduced fat", "diet", "low sodium", or any other label that represents an unnatural form of something that tastes good.  You can't be afraid of fat, sugar, and salt.  When used in moderation they add flavor and make the meal more enjoyable.  Besides, all of those so-called "healthier" versions of these ingredients replace the good stuff with artificial ingredients and I'm not a big fan of artificial sweeteners, flavors, and fillers.  Trust me when I say you can eat a healthy diet with all natural ingredients.  Good food is about taste as much as about being healthy.  In my house our philosophy is to spend a little more and get high quality, great tasting food because if our meals taste like cardboard we'll just end up going out to eat all the time.  That's no good for your weight or your wallet!

The Toughest Addiction Out There

When most people think of addictions, thoughts come to mind of alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, and gambling. Most people don't even consider food, but food can also be a powerful addiction to many people. In fact, I would argue that food is the absolute toughest addiction to break and I'll tell you why I think that a little later in this article.

Addiction is defined as "the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma." I think food follows that definition for some people. Those of us overweight feel a sense of being enslaved by food and trying to stop can cause trauma both mentally and physically.

Addictions, no matter what kind, are hard to break. In order to overcome an addiction, you must be able to face both the mental and the physical symptoms during the withdrawal (cessation) from the addiction.

For food, the physical manifestations come in the form of hunger. If you body is used to eating a certain amount of food and then you begin to eat less and deny the body all that food, it is going to let you know by making you hungry. Hunger can be hard to deal with especially if it’s nagging at you all day long. There are also other physical symptoms you can face when dealing with food addiction. Some people get headaches or feel rundown when reducing sugar or caffeine intake. Others may see digestive issues like gas, bloating, etc.

The mental side of food addiction can also be just as difficult. Any time you are lonely, sad, depressed, angry, or any other emotion that your brain associates with over-eating, you will feel that need to indulge to make you feel better. The cravings will come in the form of the flavor that suits the mood and your mind will beg you for just 1 slice of pie or 1 bag of chips.

Now earlier I made the statement that food is absolutely the toughest addiction to break and here’s why I think that:

There’s one trait about a food addiction that makes it unique from all other addictions out there. Food is the only addiction that cannot be quit entirely! Think about it, you have to eat to live and you have to carefully manage how much you eat in order to maintain proper health. Imagine if you told a smoker that when they quit smoking, they still had to smoke 3 times a day but absolutely no more. Or what if you told a gambler that they had to gamble sometimes but not too much? Food is the only vice that can’t be given up completely. With all other addictions, the physical and emotional withdrawal symptoms lessen over time. No matter how well you do, you will always have the physical symptom of hunger, it will never go away.

Now don’t get me wrong, smoking, alcohol, and many of the other addictions out there can be extremely tough to break and can have physical and mental stress for years after quitting, but all would be that much tougher to quit if they were an essential component for survival.

When it comes to being addicted to food, you must learn to control the problem rather than eliminate it. This makes maintaining a proper diet a huge mental game that must be played each and every day. Some days will be better than others, but if you keep at it over time it will get easier. Like any other addiction, the first step is recognizing you have a problem. Are you addicted to food ?

Journal Update 12/18/09

It has been a while since I last made a journal entry. I have decided to start posting my journal entries at the end of the week rather than at the beginning. It was starting to feel like my journal entries were more about explaining why I lost or gained weight instead of actually writing about how I did.

From my last weigh-in you can see that I did not have a stellar week. Because of my previous victory in the week before last, I cut myself some slack over the weekend. Part of that slack included 2 trips out eat and one of those was to a buffet where I definitely ate more than I should have. Mind you, I’ve been much worse, but I definitely lost control on that trip. In my last journal entry I indicated that I wanted to start exercising and I set a goal to exercise at least 3 times during the week. Unfortunately that did not happen. Instead I put it off and put it off until there were only 3 days left. Of course as fate would have it, I ran into issues at work that required me to work 2 extremely long days leaving very little opportunity to get some exercise in. Thankfully, the busy end to my week is probably what saved me from actually gaining weight. I was on my feet most of the time and missed dinner twice settling for a small snack instead. I knew it would be tough during the holiday season and I am grateful to have remained at the same weight through last week.

This week, however, has been a different story. I have managed to get some workouts in this week. Though I have not finished hammering out my workout plan, I decided I couldn’t put it off any longer. I did three 30 minute workouts this week and am happy to have accomplished that goal. On Monday I did strength training and focused on my upper body and on Tuesday I did an elliptical workout. By Wednesday I was a little sore so I took a break but then on Thursday I did another strength training workout and focused on my lower body. I am a little sore, but I did take my own advice on exercising and started out slowly. Today I had planned on another workout, but mother nature had a better exercise plan. At this point we have received 10 inches of snow so I decided I better get shoveling as we are expected to get another 10 inches overnight. My driveway is about 100 feet long so I got a nice workout shoveling snow for about 90 minutes.

I also ate really well this week. We did go out over the weekend, but we ate at Subway and I just got a footlong veggie sub and water. I had my one cheat meal on Wednesday (we took the kids out for ice cream) and the rest of the week I’ve managed to stay on my plan. My wife has been a great help; she’s made some really good meals lately (including a great vegetarian dish this evening) and she only makes just enough for everyone to eat plus 1 meal for my lunch the next day. It’s good because if I want eat too much at dinner I don’t because then I won’t have enough food at lunch the next day. I also got 60-80 ounces of water in each day, which always helps me lose weight. All in all I have to say it’s been a really good week and I am looking forward to getting on the scale tomorrow morning. Of course there’s always that chance that the scale won’t reflect the work I put in so I prepared for that. In the end I know I’m on the right track and right now that’s all that matters. Hopefully this weekend I’ll have time to complete my workout plan so I can get started on a regular routine. Wish me luck.

Your Eating Personality

In order to lose weight you have to get a solid understanding of who you are and how you got to be overweight in the first place. Only then can you learn to recognize the “triggers” for your overeating. Below are a few personalities of overeaters and some of the mechanisms that trigger the behavior. The groups are not meant to be exclusive to each other; you may find you fit in several. However, there will probably be one that describes you better than the others:

The Closet Eater
To anyone who knows the closet eater casually, it’s hard to understand why they are overweight in the first place. Usually this person is seen eating relatively healthy, eating small amounts of healthy fare whenever in the public eye. But once at home they binge on anything and everything they have in their cupboards. Typically the closet eater doesn’t care to go out to restaurants; he/she prefers to get take-out and bring it to the confines of their home. Their addiction is well hidden from the rest of the world and they take great strides to hide it from others. If you’ve ever gone to a fast food drive through, ordered a ton of food, and then ordered extra drinks just so the cashier doesn’t know it’s all for you then you might be a closet eater.

Because they don’t overeat in public they can rationalize that their eating is not really a problem. Often closet eaters are single making it easier to hide their overeating, but it’s not a requirement. There are plenty of closet eaters out there who hide it from everyone including their spouse and children.

What triggers the closet eater to eat is the feeling of reaching their safe zone. They’ve fooled the world again and now can reward themselves with a gallon of ice cream.

The Social Eater
Everyone knows the social eater; they are usually the loudest, funniest, and largest person at every get-together. All plans by the social eater require food in some way; Movies require dinner beforehand; Work meetings should include lunch; Getting together with friends needs to be at the local bar and grill. Social eaters don’t hide from being overweight and some actually wear it like a badge of courage.

Social eaters rationalize that they don’t have a problem because they are happy all the time. Most people think the social eater has a very happy and fulfilling life, but that’s not really the case. Often the social eater puts on the happy, “life of the party” face in order to hide the fact that they are really unhappy about their weight.

The trigger for a closet eater is any gathering of people where food is involved

The Emotional Eater
Emotions can trigger overeating in all the personality types, but the emotional overeater’s entire diet is based on how he/she is feeling at the time. If depressed or sad, the emotional eater will eat comfort foods. If stressed or angry they will eat crunchy foods. How they feel directly determines what and how much they eat.

Emotional eaters rationalize their eating by treating it as a form of therapy. If it changes their mood, then it’s worth the few extra pounds. Unfortunately the mood change is usually short-lived and they end up in a cycle of feeling bad and eating to get out of it.

The obvious trigger for the emotional eater is any event that causes unwanted emotions.

The Constant Eater
The constant eater never stops eating. Their days consist of a never-ending routine of trips to the vending machine and stops at the convenience store. Anytime there is an opportunity to get a snack, they are going to get it. If someone brings cookies to work, they’ve got to try them. If they pass the local Starbucks, it’s time for a coffee. If the constant eater goes to a party, they usually just hang at the food table and snack as others pass by.

Constant eaters rationalize their eating because they never eat a lot at any one time. They know their weight is a problem but often they understand why because their regular meals really aren’t that bad. The snacking becomes unconscious and they often don’t realize how much they take in each day.

The trigger for constant eaters is any opportunity that presents itself for a snack whether it’s walking by a vending machine, working at a restaurant, or stopping at a gas station.

The Binge Eater
Opposite the constant eater is the binge eater. The binge eater doesn’t eat vast quantities of food for most of the time, but then has episodes when extremely large quantities of food are consumed all at once. The idea of a proper diet for the binge eater is to deny any of his/her favorites and eat as little as possible. The strategy fails, and ultimately the will power of the binge eater wanes and it’s off to the races eating anything in sight.

Binge eaters rationalize the binge by saying they’ve been good for a while and they deserve a break. Unfortunately once that break begins, it turns into something more than just a little indulgence.

The trigger for binge eating often is stress or depression

The Subconscious Eater
The last personality is the Subconscious Eater. This person eats heavily all the time and doesn’t even realize he/she has eaten too much until it is too late. Often subconscious eaters come from families with a history of unhealthy eating. It’s part of their culture so it isn’t even considered. The subconscious eater eats with his/her eyes, often selecting the largest quantities of food and shoveling it in without even taking the time to taste it.

The subconscious eater doesn’t rationalize the behavior because it is perfectly normal for him/her and there really isn’t any trigger as the subconscious eater generally eats this way most of the time.


So what’s your eating personality? As I said before, you may fit more than one of these categories, but one probably describes you better than the others. For me, I’m a subconscious eater with some tendencies toward binge eating. Knowing and understanding your eating personality is a big step toward correcting the behavior. By understanding the triggers you can learn to recognize them when they show up and that can help you to do better. You won’t get it right every time, but as time goes by and you get better and better at correcting your behavior, your habits will change and you will be the healthier for it. Good Luck.

Journal Update 12/1/09

So the Thanksgiving week has passed and I'm left feeling a little disappointed about my weight.  Disappointed and surprised that I somehow manage to gain 4 pounds.  Part of me thinks that the weight gain isn't real and that I might be retaining water so we will see next week when I get on the scale again.  I said in the beginning of my journey that I would remain positive through this in good times and bad so I'm not going to dwell on this week for too long. 

I waited until today to post my journal update because I wanted to have a day to reflect on my experience this week.  I've said before weight loss is as much mental as it is physical and having setbacks is one of those hurdles I need to overcome.  As I thought more about my week I came to the realization that I really did a good job controlling my eating.  Here are some of the positives that I had during my week of 2 Thanksgiving dinners and 35 hours worth of driving time:

1. In all my travels through the holiday week, I did not stop at a single fast food place.  I also did not buy any junk food at gas stations or rest stops.  For me this is huge; when you are on the road it's too easy to eat junk whenever you make a stop.  We packed a bunch of healthy snacks in a cooler so when I got hungry I didn't need to stop and get something unhealthy.  The closest I came to eating fast food was a 6" veggie sub from Subway in the last leg of my trip.
2. I drank a lot of water - I drank at least 80 ounces of water every day while I was away.  It meant a few extra stops along the way, but that was ok since we had our dog with us and she enjoyed the stops as well.  I did drink a couple Starbucks coffees and I had a few glasses of wine at dinner time, but for the most part I was drinking water.
3. I did not over-eat at any of the meals I had - I mentioned in a previous post that my family and I were going to Chinese Buffet on Wednesday.  Well at that dinner I had 1 plate with some sushi and 1 more regular size plate.  For dessert I had fruit and a little pudding.  On Thanksgiving I had 1 plate of food and on Thanksgiving #2 I did the same again.  For desserts, I went with moderation.  Instead of having 2 or 3 pieces of pie, I cut small slivers from each kind to sample.  Instead of cookies I ate fruit.  I'm not going to pretend that I ate only healthy foods, but the point is when I was done with each meal I didn't feel like a blimp.
4. I actually exercised...one day - On Thursday morning I took advantage of the hotel gym and worked out for over an hour.  I spent 15 minutes on a stationary bike, 30 minutes lifting weights, and another 20 minutes walking/running on a treadmill.

So you can see why I'm a little puzzled as to how I could have gained so much weight in just a week.  I would have understood if I had stayed at my current weight, but I did not eat enough to gain that many pounds.  Did my metabolism slow down from all the driving?  I suppose that's possible.  Or maybe I'm retaining a lot of water.  If so I should see the weight come right back off this week, so time will tell on that one.  It doesn't really matter because I know that if I had eaten on this trip like I have on trips past, things could've been a lot worse. 

Part of this journey is recognizing that events are going to happen that will make it hard to lose weight.  If I can do really well during the normal weeks and contain the damage during the non-routine times, I think I'll be in pretty good shape.  People tend to think of weight loss as a linear thing (I'll lose a pound a week for the year and then be 52 pounds lighter).  That just isn't the case.  There's going to be times when the weight comes off easily and there will be times when it won't come off at all.  The idea is to keep going and not give up when it gets hard because that's what I've always done in the past.  I can't tell you how many times I've been on a diet for 4-6 weeks only to stop once the weight loss slows down.  This time I want to get over that hump and keep going so I can hopefully reach my goal. 

So sow I've had my first bump in the road and it hasn't shaken me.  I'm back at home and back into my normal routine.  Hopefully it will be a really good week.  Wish me luck.

Journal Update 11/22/09

As you can see from my last post I managed to have another good week.  In fact, I feel like it has been a great week because it was a very hard week for me and I still managed to take some weight off.  I worked a lot this week and had a really important but stressful project due on Friday.  Usually when my routine changes it gives me an excuse to stop eating right.  I managed to pull it off and I feel really good about it.  I was still shaking off a cold for most of the week so still no exercise yet.  I didn't track my calories either, but I did eat right all week long.  Last Sunday my wife made a small pan of brownies, I ate 1 small piece on Sunday and then another small piece Monday night.  For me this was another small victory (small victory #3) because usually when my wife makes brownies, they are usually gone the day they are made.

The middle of the week brought the usual challenges.  In preparing for finishing my big project (Thursday and Friday) I was very busy.  I struggled a little getting my water in but always got at least 60 ounces each day.  I ate balanced meals and I've also discovered a great oatmeal breakfast:

1/2 Cup Oatmeal
1 Cup 1% Milk
3/4 Cup Frozen Blueberries

Mix the 3 items in a bowl and microwave for 1 minute 3 times stirring in between each time (3 minutes total).  Let sit for about 5 minutes to thicken up and then drizzle a little honey on it.  It tastes great and is just under 400 calories!  I had it every work day this week for breakfast.

The end of the week brought my biggest challenge yet.  On Friday we had completed our final presentation for closing the project.  All went extremely well so as a reward my friend and I bought our team lunch as a "thank you" for working so hard (they did a really great job).  By the time we got the pizza I was starving.  At first I told myself that I would just go to my office and eat the lunch I brought, but as the leader of the project, that really didn't feel right not to participate with the rest of the team.  Instead I decided that I would only eat 2 pieces of pizza.  I ate my 2 pieces and drank water instead of soda (small victory #4).  I wanted to eat a whole pizza myself, but I knew I had to weigh in the next morning and I think that helped me stay on course.  Afterward I felt great!  It was nice to have a celebration with my team and not eat like a pig.

Since I met my goal for the week, I cut myself some slack this weekend.  However, unlike last weekend, this time I managed to control myself a little better.  On Saturday we took the kids out for lunch.  Being kids, their idea of a good meal is the local pizza buffet.  I have to say, buffets are my arch nemesis.  I have probably gained more weight from buffets than any other restaurant type including fast food joints.  I mentioned it before in a previous post that I have a hard time separating value and cost.  At buffets I feel like I have to get the most for my money so I eat and eat and eat whether I'm hungry or not.  This time was going to be different.  All week long I've been realizing how much my weight problem is in my head.  I went into that restaurant convinced that I was going to enjoy myself, but under no circumstances was I going to come back out feeling like a big fat pig.

I started off with a salad and even though my wife paid for me to have a soda, I got water instead.  Usually when I go to a pizza buffet, I usually get 2 slices of everything I like and 3 slices of anything I really like.  Then for dessert I get at least 2 of everything.  This time I decided to only get 1 slice of the kinds I like and then I didn't eat the crusts.  Why fill up with all that crust on the end of each pizza, all it does is sit like a rock in your stomach.  I also made an effort to actually taste the pizza instead of just wolfing it down.  It was nice, I actually enjoyed all the flavors from the different pizzas I like.  After that I had 1 small piece of each of the desserts and that was it!  Now I know this isn't exactly a knockout as far as calories go, but for me this is huge.  I have NEVER walked out of a buffet without feeling absolutely stuffed.  On Saturday I did just that and it felt great! (small victory #5)

Now it's time for my first really big challenge.  Thanksgiving week is finally here.  On Tuesday night I'm driving all the way up to Maine to visit with my family.  I'm really excited to go, but I know it will be difficult to eat right.  First I have to drive 14 hours through the middle of the night.  It's hard to eat healthy on the road, but we are packing a lot of healthy snacks so I don't have to stop a lot along the way.  When we get there we are going out with my family for dinner on Wednesday.  The place has already been decided; Chinese Buffet!  Everyone in my family is overweight and usually when we get together it usually turns into a pig-fest.  I love Chinese, so my big challenge here will be to do as well as I did when I went to pizza buffet.  Of course the next day is Thanksgiving so I'll have to watch myself there.  After that, we drive back to NJ to visit with my in-laws before going home on Sunday.

In order to survive this trip I'm going to need a plan:

1. I already mentioned, we are going to pack a lot of healthy snacks for the drive up.  By packing healthy snacks it should help me to resist the temptations to eat junk from convenience stores or fast food restaurants.
2. I'm going to have to find ways to get some exercising during the trip.  I already know my calorie intake is going to be higher than usual so I need to burn a little more.  The hotel we are staying at has a gym so I plan on hitting it for at least 30 minutes each day we are there.  I'm also going to try to get some exercise in on the days before we leave.
3. During all the family get togethers, I am going to try to focus on eating really slow.  I haven't seen my family for quite some time, so if I spend more time talking than eating, I should be able to keep my calories down some.
4. I'm going to have fun!  If I feel like I'm suffering on this trip it's only going to push me toward a binge at some point.  I'm not going to worry about every little bite and I definitely want a piece of my mom's pecan pie.  Remember this is a lifestyle change so I have to be able to deal with family events.

Wish me luck, I'm probably going to need it.

Weight Loss 101

Losing weight is such a hard thing to do, but the formula behind it is not very complicated. The formula to losing weight is quite simple... take in less calories than your body burns and you will lose weight.


The problem with the formula has to do with how many calories you expend each day. You can track fairly accurately how many calories you consume and you can control it pretty well, but how many did you burn each day? That is where it gets really tricky. There are so many things that affect how many calories you burn each day. The body is a very sophisticated system and it knows how to react. That's why starving yourself doesn't work. The body isn't getting enough fuel so it reacts by slowing down your metabolism so you burn less. The same works with exercise. Exercise once and your body burns a small amount of calories. Exercise regularly and the body reacts by burning more calories in anticipation of the coming workload. It's really quite cool.

So the big trick is to try to keep your metabolism revved up while eating slightly less than your body requires each day (also known as creating a calorie deficit). No simple task indeed, but it can be done. In order to do this you will need to focus on 3 things; healthy diet, adequate exercise, and proper mindset.

Healthy Diet

A healthy diet revolves around balance. You should be trying to eat a wide variety of fresh foods from all the food groups. Any diet that prevents you from eating from a particular group is doomed to fail because the body will react to the restriction. How much food and in what combinations are a subject for another post, but the takeaway here is that you shouldn't be denying yourself of anything.

Adequate Exercise

When people think of exercise, they think of treadmills and stair steppers, but exercise is a whole lot more. Any activity that increases your body's need for energy can be considered exercise whether it's playing golf, walking up a flight of stairs, or having sex with your partner (the next time your wife's not in the mood tell her you need to get your exercise in). The point is your body burns calories based on the amount of activity you do each day. The only way to increase that burn is by increasing your activity level regularly.

Proper Mindset

You could maintain a healthy diet and get adequate exercise and still not lose weight without the proper mindset. Stress and other mind forces will kill your weight loss goals as easy as anything else. What makes matters worse is that an improper mindset not only affects your body, but it also affects your ability to maintain your diet and exercise routine. One bad day in your mind can hurt your weight loss plans 3 times! No one can maintain the proper mindset all the time but you have to remain conscious of your thoughts if you want to lose weight. Did you ever start a weight loss journey and then skip a day of exercise? Did you feel guilty later in the day because you skipped your workout so you bought some ice cream to feel better? Did you wake up the next morning and decide to give up because you felt so worthless from the previous day? Mindset is the most powerful factor in determining your success and I would argue it's the only one that's an absolute requirement for getting control of your weight. There are people out there who have lost weight by just eating better and there are those who have lost weight by just increasing their activity levels, but I doubt there's anyone out there who lost a lot of weight (and kept it off) without the proper mindset.

One last consideration for any weight loss journey should be time. It took a long time to get heavy, and so it stands to reason that the journey to take the weight off will most likely take a long time as well. As a society we do not handle time well. We want everything to happen now. Books on losing weight fast and TV Shows like "The Biggest Loser" only add to our desire to change instantly. You will find that most people that are truly successful at taking weight off (and keeping it off) did it over a long period of time. Keep this nugget about time in your mindset toolbox and you will be better off. Give yourself time to do it right.

Also remember this, even though it will take a long time...

"The journey of a thousand mile starts with the first step" - Confucius