Day #150 - I'm Done Trying to Lose Weight

Today marks the end of 5 months of focus on improving my health with 7 more to go!  So far I've managed to quit smoking and drastically reduce my alcohol consumption.  Today I add something new, I'm going to quit trying to lose weight!

Yes you are reading correctly, I said that I am giving up on trying to lose weight.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm overweight and I recognize that I need to lose close to 150 pounds.  I haven't stopped caring about my health and I have no intention of staying at my current weight, I've simply decided to shift my focus.

My entire adult life has been spent focused on trying to drop pounds on a scale.  I've tried weight loss plan after weight loss plan.  Some have been successful (for a short while) and some have been total disasters.  Ultimately the one thing they all had in common was that eventually, whatever weight was lost came back and in some cases a few pounds more.

The best way to solve a problem is to focus on, and eliminate the root cause.  For years my focus has been on losing weight, but in reality, my weight isn't my problem.  My weight is the result of the problem, not the problem itself.  I've spent so much time trying to fix the effect instead of focusing on the true problem.

So what is the true problem?  The true problem is that I do not treat my body with respect.  Because I do not treat my body with respect I am overweight, I have sleep apnea, I have knee pain, etc. 

So why don't I treat my body with respect?  Well, that's what I need to focus on.  For one, I don't think my life is fulfilling.  I also don't deal with stress real well.  There are probably a great number of things that I need to work on and hopefully in the months to come I will identify them and work on getting better.

So what do I mean when I say I'm not going to try to lose weight and instead focus on treating my body with respect?  It means that I will no longer spend time developing restrictive eating plans to follow or exercise regimes.  It means that I will no longer obsess about what the scale reads and I will not zone in on just one measure of my health.

I'm trying something new; my belief is that if I can focus on treating my body with respect and fix the things that cause me to abuse my body, then the weight (and all my other health problems) will begin to take care of themselves.  I know this might seem a little hokey to some, but is it any crazier than trying over and over again to lose weight only to end up with the same result.  

In the days ahead I will post more details about where I'm going.  Your welcome to come along for the ride... who knows where it's going to end up.

Stay Strong!

Week #6 Weigh-In

8/24/14 Starting Weight: 347.8 lbs

 

Last Weigh-in: 327.6 lbs

Current Weight: 319.2 lbs

Period Weight Loss: 8.4 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 28.6 lbs

  
 

I have to admit I'm a bit shocked with this one!  Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled with the result, just trying to figure out where it came from.  I suppose I might have been retaining a little water last week when I only lost 2 pounds, but this is still a little out there.

It was another good week, I did an outstanding job with my eating plan again.  I'm amazed at how much easier it is to stay strong when your mind is focused.  Even with such a lousy work week, I was able to resist the temptations.

This also takes me to the halfway point of my first 12 week stint.  When I first started I told myself that I wasn't going to set crazy or unrealistic goals like I usually do.  I told my wife that my "not-really-a-goal-but-sure-would-be-cool" target would be to get under 300 by the end of 3 months.  Halfway there, and I'm amazed that I might actually have a shot.  This is going to be the best non-goal I ever had the privilege of not shooting for!  
 

Highlights:

1. Sticking to eating plan - Rock solid
2. Drinking a gallon of water every day
3. Feeling great; Resisting Temptations

Lowlights:

1. Only exercised once during the work week
2. Didn't keep up with blogging this week
3. STRESS at work!

On Friday Ice Cream was being sold as part of a United Way campaign.  My boss agreed to buy ice cream for anyone in my group, as much as we wanted, on his dime.  I love ice cream but I want to lose this weight more than I ever have before, so I passed (Small Victory #20).

I am truly enjoying how my life is going right now! One of my daughters just told me that she's so glad we moved.  Clearly my whole family is settling in and I feel like I'm just starting to hit my stride.  I'm excited to be finally taking control of my life.  The journey is long, and the road is tough, but I know I'm ready for it.  6 weeks in the books, time to focus on week #7.  If I want to lose 20 pounds in the next 6 weeks and get under 300 I'm going to have to step up that exercise!

 

 

Stay Strong!

-FogDog

 

 

[Photo: Flickr / Tim Simpson]

Week #5 Weigh-In

8/24/14 Starting Weight: 347.8 lbs

 

Last Weigh-in: 329.4 lbs

Current Weight: 327.6 lbs

Period Weight Loss: 1.8 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 20.2 lbs

  
 

OK, so this is one of those weeks where I have to tread carefully.  On the one hand I am happy to have lost some more weight and I know that crossing over 20 pounds in just 5 weeks is a great accomplishment.

 

On the other hand though, I know that I am fully capable of much more.  During the week I could see some of my "old" habits creeping to the surface.  This early in my transformation I should lose more than 1.8 pounds and I know it.

 

However, one of my other "old" habits was beating myself up for not being perfect.  I certainly wasn't perfect this week in any stretch of the imagination, but that shouldn't be cause to feel guilty, get depressed, then go on a bender.  I recognize simply this... I wasn't perfect, but at the same time it wasn't good enough either.   I need to pick it up a little.

 

I did have couple more small victories... My Boss's Boss brought me a bowl full of homemade cookies to give to my team for all the hard work we've been doing.  I left the bowl in my office for 3 days before all those cookies were gone; I never ate a single cookie (Small Victory #18).  I also had a working lunch on Thursday.  Instead of eating a box lunch from Panera, I ate my own lunch (Small Victory #19).

 

I also reached my first milestone!  Now looking above you might think my first milestone was to lose 20 pounds, but I'm not a very traditional person.  My first milestone wasn't really about pounds (directly anyway).  My first milestone was to be able to get back on my Wii scale!  I like my Wii scale because you can't just step on it; you have to turn it on, push buttons, wait for the darn thing to tall you how fat you are, etc.  This is a good thing because you have to really want to weigh yourself if you are going to go through all those steps, it helps me to reduce casual daily weigh-ins.

 

Anyway, the Wii scale tops out at 330 and even if you're close to that number then it will give you an error (I tried last week at 329.4 and it didn't work).  Today I was able to get on it and it told me that today was my 1999th day using the scale.  WOW! that's over 5 years.  It also told me that it has been 212 days since I last weighed in.  That's how long it has been since I've been able to get on that scale, sad isn't it?

 

Highlights:

1. First milestone reached!
2. Water goal met every single day
3. Worked out several nights after work
4. Recognized the need to be accountable but also recognized I can't beat myself up either

Lowlights:

1. Nightly snacking on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday... out of plan
2. Still not exercising routinely
3. Little too much TV (see lowlight #1)

 

I did have some more victories this week and even when I slipped up a little, I did manage to contain the damage (the nightly snacking consisted of just some pretzels and a couple of granola bars).  What has me feeling good right now is that I'm beginning to recognize the things that typically derail me (like beating myself up or feeling guilty about a slip).  Feeling guilty tends to lead to more failure; instead, accept your actions for what they are, address it, and then move on.  This is why I said I have to be careful; I need to hold myself accountable without beating myself up too much.  It's a tough balancing act!

 

Stay Strong!

-FogDog

 

 

[Photo: Flickr / Timothy Chris Plascik]

Week #4 Weigh-In September 20, 2014

8/24/14 Starting Weight: 347.8 lbs

 

Last Weigh-in: 333.6 lbs

Current Weight: 329.4 lbs

Period Weight Loss: 4.2 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 18.4 lbs

  

 

I woke up this morning feeling like a kid on Christmas morning!  Last week I made a promise to myself to stay off the scale all week long.  I kept that promise (Small Victory #16) and this morning I was excited to see how my efforts paid off.  Another 4.2 pounds lost.  That number works for me.  It's a fair number and I feel liked I've earned every bit of it.

Today's weigh-in puts me at 18.4 pounds in the first month.  Any month that you lose more than 18 pounds is a good one in my book!  This has been a great start.  What has me even more excited is that I am doing so well (on the scale) and I still have room for improvement. 
 
More important, though, is just how I feel.  After a month of transformation effort I can say I feel great.  It doesn't feel like I'm wading through quicksand like past efforts have felt.  It also doesn't feel like I'm burning out; another problem I've run into on some past efforts.
 
An Important Part About Blogging - Helping to Gain Perspective:
 
Normally I post some highlights and lowlights with my weigh-in, but this week I gained a little perspective that I would like to share...
 
On both my restarts I was tempted to wipe everything out and start all over.  On both occasions I chose not to and I'm glad I didn't.  It's part of my entire journey and although my path has gone astray many times, it still offers me perspective and learning. 
 
Today is a great example of gaining some more perspective.  If you go back into my archives you would see that one day my best friend and I started a 30 day weight loss challenge.  I put everything into that challenge and ultimately I lost 17.2 pounds.  The posting of the results to that challenge also coincided with my last blog entry in 2010.  By the end I had become so burned out that I just simply collapsed beck into bad eating habits.  With that came some weight gain followed by hiding from the blogging world because I was so ashamed.
 
Compare those 30 days to my last, where I have felt inspired to be healthy.  I haven't forced myself to suffer all to see a number on a scale.  Instead of counting down the days "till this challenge is over" I'm looking forward to finding ways to enjoy my life as my health begins to improve. Instead of feeling deprived of something I'm questioning why I felt I needed it in the first place.  The focus is clearly much more mental than it is about the physical.  Most people think that if they lose weight it will make them happy.  I wrote an article about this some time ago (original post here), and now I'm beginning to believe it... you don't need to lose weight to be happy, you need to be happy in order to lose weight.
 
In my 30 Day Weight Loss Challenge I suffered through the whole experience.  I was miserable and couldn't wait for it to end.  Ultimately it contributed to me stopping my transformation because I was so burned out.  My reward for those 30 days was the number 17.2.
 
In my last 30 days I have enjoyed my life.  I've discovered some things about me and I haven't felt deprived in anyway.  I have more room to grow and I'm excited to see what the next 30 days brings me.  My reward for the last 30 days was the number 18.4. 

How's that for a little perspective?
 
Stay Strong!
-FogDog

 

 

[Photo: Flickr / Timothy Krause]

Weight Loss "Tale of Two Cities"

It’s been a very interesting week to say the least.  On the one hand my eating has been rock-solid, almost automatic.  I don’t know if it’s all the water I’m drinking, but I just don’t feel hungry despite a daily intake of 1500 calories (4 low carb days) or 2000 calories (2 high carb days).  I really expected the hunger to be gnawing at me, you know, whispering in my ear about how great it would be to go get a pizza. 

My best friend is back at work after a business trip and even he hasn’t had any impact on my resolve.  My best friend is the epitome of what I need to NOT do.  He smokes, drinks everyday, skips breakfast, and eats fast food the rest of the day.  Someday I’ll have to figure out how he isn’t twice my size.  Anyway, all week we’ve been going out for lunch… well sort of. 

Since he’s been out of town and since we’ve both been incredibly busy, we haven’t had much time to talk so we’ve been going out at lunchtime just to hang out.  I heat up and eat my lunch at 11:45 and then at noon we go out and he stops at some fast food joint to get something to eat in the car.  All week I’ve been going with him and not once have I even been tempted to get something (small victories 11,12,13,14, and 15).  I’m hoping when he sees my resolve he’ll start bringing his lunch; we’ll see.

On the flip side of the coin, I’ve done a horrible job at exercising.  My fear has come true, now that I’ve abandoned getting up at 5AM, it seems I have very little motivation to workout in the evening.  All week I’ve been finding excuses (such as right now when I could be working out instead of blogging.  Ohh that gives me a great idea for a blog post… the irony of sitting on your ass blogging about losing weight.  Look for it next week!  OK where was I?  Oh yeah no exercising.

I still expect to see a loss tomorrow when I get on the scale, it’s just that I don’t feel like the week was complete for me.  How can someone do so well in one area of healthy living and so poorly in another?  I noticed that I have a harder time falling asleep when I don’t exercise; I know it’s good for my body and my mind.  Oh well, one day at a time; you can’t fix everything at once.  I’ll report on my weigh-in tomorrow.

Stay Strong!

[Photo: Flickr / Pascal]

Eat Like a Kid Again

Kids are amazing little creatures… until we screw them up with all of our “adult” ways.  There’s a lot we can learn from them about eating if only we weren’t already trained to screw them up.  Take a look below at some of the ways kids eat differently than adults.  Who knows, maybe we should all go back to eating like a kid...


Kids Eat When They are Hungry

Kids don’t stick to some predefined pattern when it comes to eating.  If they are hungry, they tell you.

How we screw them up:  Ever tell your kid they can’t have a snack because dinner is in an hour?  We force them to eat in a pattern and we teach them to ignore their hunger in favor of eating based on what the clock says.

“I know you want a snack, but we are going to have lunch in an hour and if I give you a snack now you won’t be hungry at lunchtime.” Translation – “Ignore your hunger and keep an eye on the clock.”


Kids DON'T Eat When They are Full

When kids are full, they stop eating.  It doesn’t matter what they are having, it can be their favorite food and they will still push the plate away when they are full

How we screw them up:  Leaving food on your plate? That’s blasphemy!!! We were taught to clean our plates; some little kid in Ethiopia is starving.  Ever tell you kid to eat those last few bites?  Why?

“How can you be full, you only ate half your meal?  Please finish your plate; I spent good money on that food” Translation – “Ignore what your body tells you and do what I say”


Kids Eat What They Like and Don’t Eat What They Don’t Like

Give a kid something they like and they will eat it.  Give them something they don’t like and get ready for WWIII!  Kids refuse to suffer through foods they don’t like healthy or not.  Don’t get me wrong, Kids need to be exposed to new healthy foods to try, but to continue to force them to eat foods they don’t like really doesn’t make much sense.

“You’re not leaving the table until you eat those brussell sprouts!” Translation – “We all have to suffer through foods we don’t like in the name of being healthy so get used to it!”


Kids Take Their Time When They Eat

Kids enjoy their food; they take their time and savor it.  They talk, they laugh, they pick around their plate, finally taking a small bite of food.  Adults are in a hurry; they need to get on to the next thing.  They shovel it in quickly and then move on.  They forgot what it means to experience food.

“Hurry up and finish your plate, we have soccer in an hour.” Translation – “Better get used to eating on the run kid, life is too busy to take your time!”


Kids Don’t Associate Food with Reward…Initially

Kids learn the concept of punishments/rewards pretty quickly.  Do something good, get rewarded; Do something bad and get punished.  Unfortunately adults like to use food (of the unhealthy kind) as a reward and they also like to withhold said food as punishment.

“You can’t have one of those cupcakes for dessert if you don’t finish you’re plate.” Translation – “It doesn’t matter if you are hungry or not or if you like the food or not, the only way to get to the food you like (your reward) you have to eat the food in front of you!”


Who’s Teaching Who?

I’m sure some of you parents have actually said some of the things I’ve written above (I know I have).  Why?  Because it was what we were taught by our parents.  Habits are hard to break especially when it’s a habit that’s deeply rooted from our childhood.  Maybe there’s a better way.  Maybe instead of teaching our children how to eat we should let them teach us.  Their formula seems to be pretty simple; Eat food you like, only when you are hungry, take your time, and stop when you are full.  Who knows, maybe you might enjoy eating like a kid again, that is, before your parents taught you better.

[Photo: Flickr / Tea]

 

Weigh-in #1 - September 6, 2014

8/24/14 Starting Weight: 347.8 lbs

 

Last Weigh-in: 347.8 lbs

Current Weight: 336 lbs

Period Weight Loss: 11.8 lbs

Total Weight Loss: 11.8 lbs

 

I have to admit I'm quite impressed with this result.  Remember I went on vacation for 4 days during this period and I still managed to lose a great deal of weight.  Of course, this isn't my first weight loss rodeo; I know that some of this is water weight, but I'll take it.  It's definitely a great start!

 

 

Some highlights from the last two weeks:

 

1. I decided to start my transformation a week early despite knowing I was going on vacation
2. I tried to take it one day at a time and focused on the mental part of losing weight more than the physical
3. I turned down a huge homemade chocolate muffin at work (small victory #4)
4. I started getting up at 5AM to exercise
5. I exercised on the NJ Turnpike
6. I turned down going out to lunch twice in favor of sticking to my plan (small victories #5, and #6)
7. After my vacation I caught a stomach virus and missed a day of work.  The perfect excuse to go off plan (but I didn't)
8. After declaring on this blog that I need to get moving more, I spent the next day doing more work than I had in a long time

Of course, it's not all sunshine and lollipops, some lowlights:

1. I used being sick as an excuse not to get up at 5AM for 2 days
2. I made a few questionable choices during vacation
3. Mentally, I'm still don't completely believe in myself yet (though this result helps)

This has been a great start to my transformation.  The road ahead of me is going to be long and tough and I know it. For me the hardest part will be maintaining the mental fortitude.  Though I'm not a big fan of scales and numbers, today's weigh-in is a nice little boost to my confidence. 

Stay Strong!



Slight Change of Plans... Why Wait?

My last post was actually pretty emotional for me.  It got me really thinking hard about my future and my pending transformation.  To be honest, I woke up this morning wondering just what else I needed to wait for in order to get this process going. What else do I need, a sign from God?  You know how it is, we all need to draw that line in the sand and say (this is where it all starts… right here).  Until you reach that line nothing you do matters.  Whether you gain 5 pounds or lose 5 before that line it really makes no difference.  The line is drama, it’s the line you plan on pointing to 2 years from now when you are surrounded by people who want to know how you did it.

I continued to ponder as I read some other people’s blogs, and then sat down for breakfast.  As I was eating I asked my wife how many calories she thought I was eating.  She had made me two bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches; here’s my calorie total for breakfast:

• 1 Large cup of coffee with cream and sugar – 150 calories
• 3 Eggs – 210 calories
• 4 Pieces of Bacon – 120 calories
• ¾ Oz. Cheese – 75 calories
• 4 Pieces of Bread – 480 calories
• 2 Tbsp Butter – 200 calories

That’s a grand total of 1235 calories just for breakfast!  If I was on my plan right now I’d have about 300 calories left for the day.  This has to stop!  I couldn’t even remember anything about the 5 minutes (yes I said 5) where I sat there and wolfed those sandwiches down.  How’d they taste?  I couldn’t tell you because I ate them mindlessly.  No More!

I told my wife I’m ready to start now.  We’re doing this together so I needed her agreement; we compromised on starting tomorrow (which ironically will be our cheat day).  It doesn’t matter; in my opinion we really started today.  I went into the basement and setup an area for working out.  The new house we bought 2 months ago came with an elliptical machine and a treadmill plus we already had an elliptical and free weights.  I don’t like the elliptical that came with the house plus it only supports 325 lbs, so I’m giving that one to a friend.  I organized the room and now it’s ready to be used.

Later on we went out to the big and tall store.  All of my clothes are extremely tight and so I wanted to get just a couple things to hold me over until the pounds start coming off.  First I had to drive 45 minutes to get there.  When I arrived they didn’t have any jeans that were “regular fit”.  I know we fat guys need some room in the seat, but it’s always too much for me and it always looks like I have a big load in my pants.  Anyway, no jeans, but I found a nice pair of shorts.  I tried and tried to find a collar shirt to match but no luck.  Everytime I found a color I liked I couldn’t find it in my size (3XLT).  Finally, I got pissed, dropped the shorts, and left.  Nothing like a waste of a 45 minute drive!  All the way home I kept thinking about how mice it would be to not have to go to a special store to buy clothes anymore.  The time will come soon!

Tomorrow morning I will get on the scale.  Then My wife and I will go shopping to get the food we need for the rest of the week.  I am starting to get excited.  Even though tomorrow is a cheat day for us (In order to keep our schedule right), I still plan on eating reasonable.  Tomorrow I’ll post my plan… and my starting weight.  Wish me luck!

Letter To Myself - It's Time!

Dear FogDog-

Wow! Has it really been almost a year and a half since your last failed attempt at weight loss? So much has happened since then that I’m surprised you want to try again. Do you realize that the last time you posted on this blog…

• You lived in a different city
• You had a different job
• You drove a different car
• You still smoked
• You didn’t know you had severe sleep apnea
• You had just turned 40
• You were committed to starting another (failed) journey to lose 100 pounds

I went back and read your post called “starting over” that you made after your first failed attempt at weight loss. You talked about those couple of years as “dark times”. Things haven’t really gotten much better have they? In fact I think it’s safe to say things are worse now than they’ve been in quite a while. Sure, you managed to quit smoking 3 months ago, but at what cost? At the moment you are pretty darn close to 350lbs, you are miserable, and completely exhausted with life. Your job is stressful and not particularly fulfilling so your weekends are spent “unwinding” with a bottle of rum. Your kids don’t understand why you never play with them, and you seem depressed almost all the time. Can things get much worse? I’m amazed that you would even want to try again; you know that you are bound to fail!

But wait a minute; I also see that you are not the same person as before. Something about you is different but I can’t quite put my finger on it. Maybe it’s all those books you started reading about positive psychology. Maybe now you are starting to see that you need to focus within yourself instead of always looking for external fixes. I think those books have helped but I don’t think that’s it.

Maybe it’s all the reading you’ve been doing about being healthy. I know the book you read by Chris Powell seemed to really get you motivated. I’m sure it had something to do with his mental approach to losing weight. No, I think that book was helpful, but I’m not sure that has made you a different person either.

I guess it could be all the health problems you have now. I bet you hate wearing a CPAP at night. My guess is that taking medication for high blood pressure isn’t much fun nor is the constant aching in your knees and feet. I’m sure those things would be enough to motivate you to get healthy.

Or maybe it’s just all of the above; I don’t know for sure, but whatever it is that has changed in you, I can see it very clearly. I saw it 3 months ago when you simply “decided” to quit smoking. You just stopped and even when your best friend gave up and started smoking again, you kept going. No tricks, no gimmicks, you simply decided it was time to quit. You didn’t let anyone influence you and your determination was unwavering. I can see you are now ready to do that again, only this time with losing weight. I think after almost 16 months, you are finally ready to pick yourself back up, dust yourself off, and start again. Actually, I don’t think it, I know it!

Since I can clearly see you are sincerely ready to give it another shot, I wanted to take some time to give you some advice:

• Face your fears! I know you very well; I know that one thing you are afraid of is that if you succeed at losing the weight your excuse for being unhappy will be gone, and then you will have to deal with whatever else might be out there. That might happen; losing weight is no guarantee to make you happy. You are going to have to face this fear and all those other ones that you aren’t quite ready to share yet.

• You need support! From a very early age you taught yourself that you shouldn’t need to rely on anyone to get by. I think you did that so that you wouldn’t have to deal with the feeling of being rejected when you need help. While it might have helped you to become highly independent, it has also made you closed off and incapable of asking for help from anyone. That needs to change. Reach out to your family and friends. Reach out to the blogosphere and find new friends that share your goals. You won’t succeed if you think you can do this one on your own.

• Help Others! You’re a smart guy, you’ve read a lot about being healthy and you’ve fought obesity your whole life. Something happened when you started volunteering in youth sports; you discovered that you actually like to help others! Share your story (good and bad) with anyone who will listen. Keep blogging and stay engaged with the community; it will keep you engaged with your battle.

• You need to keep your word! You’ve promised this before; you’ve said you would change your ways. Every time you promise and then fail to live up to it, it eats away at your soul. No crazy commitments this time, only promise to yourself the things you can realistically achieve.

• Get ready to fail! It’s going to happen and you know it. This journey will not be in a straight line so you need to be able to forgive yourself when you fail. This isn’t a “free pass” to be used when things get tough. You need to hold yourself accountable, but when you fail, you need to figure out what happened, forgive yourself, and then pick yourself back up as quickly as possible.

• Give yourself permission to succeed! Yes, you will fail from time to time, but you also need to allow yourself to succeed. I still don’t know why you don’t feel like you deserve complete success in life, but you do. You deserve happiness and success as much as anyone else.

• Lastly, and most importantly, you need to BELIEVE! Even with all the change I see in you, I’m still not convinced that you truly believe in yourself. I think there have been so many failures, that it’s almost impossible for you to see yourself at a healthy weight. This won’t work if you don’t believe in yourself. YOU CAN DO IT!

That’s all I’ve got for you. I know you are planning on starting your journey on September 1, so you have 2 weeks to get ready. I wish you the best of luck and I’ll do my best to help you stay on the path.

Sincerely,
Mark (A.K.A Fogdog)

The Search for Automatic Weight Loss

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I have spent more time “thinking” during this weight loss adventure than I have on any other previous attempt at losing weight. When I started over, I told myself that I knew exactly how to lose weight, so now I needed to figure out why I don’t. If you know how to do something, but choose not to, it does no good to re-teach yourself how to do it. Instead you have to focus on why you choose not to do it.

Self-reflection can be difficult. It’s sometimes hard to pull yourself out of your normal way of thinking and explore questions that might fly in the face of what you know in your mind to be true. This morning I’ve been sitting at my desk at work reflecting on my life and my situations. As I was doing this I came across a thought that related to weight loss…

“I’m wasting more time and energy trying to automate my life than I’m spending actually living it!”

What does that mean?

I’m an engineer through and through. I love data and systems and tools that are designed to help you get the most efficiency out of anything you are doing. I spend my days trying to automate just about everything.

At work I’ve setup my job so that I can automatically collect the data I need to make decisions. I’ve spent hours and hours setting up spreadsheets so that 3 pieces of information can be entered each month and instantly create 15 different metrics that can be used the track the state of my department.

At home I’ve automated my system for selecting stocks to invest in. I spent MONTHS building a spreadsheet that allows me to enter a stock symbol, click a button, and then it automatically collects 20 years of data, sorts through it, and gives me a score AND a buy and sell price.

What does that have to do with losing weight?

Everything I do is with automation and efficiency in mind… that includes weight loss! If I had a way to track every calorie that went into my mouth while simultaneously tracking every calorie that I expended throughout the day, I would be in heaven. In my mind, if I know exactly what I need to eat, when I need to eat it, and how much I need to move around in order to have my metabolism fire at its most efficient rate, then I have created the most efficient weight loss program possible.

Here’s the problem… I’m trying to build an automatic weight loss system, one that I don’t have to think about what I need to do each day because it’s already been calculated out for me. Does anyone think that really exists? I’m spending so much time focusing on how to make things most efficient (how to lose the most weight with the least amount of effort). Doesn’t that defeat the purpose? Why am I trying to be so efficient about my weight loss? Does it matter if I only lose 2 pounds when I could have lost 3? Does it matter if I choose to work out at a time that not optimal for burning calories? Do I really need to know that I should be eating 2200 calories per day instead of 2300? What is any of the data I’m collecting tell me that I don’t already know?

When it comes down to it, the only equation I need to worry about is this:

Eat Less + Move More = Lose Weight

At the end of the day I should be asking myself 2 questions:

1. Did I take steps today to try to eat a healthy, reasonable amount of food?
2. Did I take steps today to try to get more physical activity?

All the energy I spend with spreadsheets and scouring the Internet for that next little piece of information that might make my diet more efficient could be instead be spent running around outside with my kids or teaching myself to prepare a great meal that’s both satisfying to my appetite and tastes great.

Sometimes I get so hung up on the metrics I’m tracking that I forget what it actually is I’m trying to do. I want to be healthy, that’s the ultimate goal. It doesn’t matter what my weight or measurements are, how many calories I’m eating, or how many minutes I spent with my heart rate at a certain level. Yes, those numbers are a good way to measure progress, but they are outputs and shouldn’t drive behavior. Maybe if I stop focusing on the wrong things, the right thing will actually happen!

Day 70 - Weight Loss Results

Starting Weight – 330
Day 60 Weight – 319.8
Current Weight – 319.0

Period Weight Loss – 0.8 Pounds
Overall Weight Loss – 11 Pounds

Finally!  After 2 weeks of weight gains I finally posted a loss.  It might be a small one, but a loss is a loss and right now I just really needed to see it.  It's been a rough 30 days for me, but it feels good knowing that I'm starting to get back on track

What Went Well

Not a lot of areas that I can say went well these last 10 days except that I was definitely more active.  the weather has finally gotten better (at least here in VA) and I am taking full advantage.  Soccer season has finally started and I am the coach of my daughter's youth soccer team.  I love to coach, it's great to get out there and run around with a bunch of little kids. 

I've also started playing basketball with my kids.  I have 3 girls so we play 2 on 2.  I take the youngest on my team and we play in our driveway.  I was skeptical at first that I would actually get any exercise since my kids are 6,8, and 9, but I've been amazed at how winded I get even after about 15 minutes.  The bonus is that I get exercise while spending time playing with the kids and they just love it!

Areas to Improve

Still quite a bit of eating out (though not nearly as much as the 20 days before).  I've also struggled with drinking water.  It's strange, it's not like I've been drinking soda or any other bad drink, I'm just not drinking at all.

Moving Forward

Today starts a new chapter for me!  I didn't realize it until I got into work this morning, but today marks 99 days without smoking!  That's a significant accomplishment for me.  For those of you who haven't seen my earlier posts, smoking was the first bad habit I needed to break, losing weight has been my my second priority and I am happy that I've managed to take 11 pounds off while quitting smoking.  At this point I'm ready to declare victory on the smoking, put more attention towards eating right, and really start to give more thought on getting more exercise.

Goals for this week (Next 10 Days):

Shooting the moon these next 10 days, I'm going for 10 pounds (yes, that's 1 pound each day).  In order to be successful, I will need to execute perfectly every single day:

1. Calories under 2500 every day
2. 100oz Water or more every day
3. Exercise every day
4. Maintain a positive attitude!

I'm also setting a goal to post 2 blog articles and visit 10 of my friend's blogs before my next weigh-in.  I apologize I've been absent as of late, both in writing articles and also in visiting my friend's sites.  I hope you are all still doing well.

Anyway, wish me luck.  Stay Strong!

Dining Out... Why?

I was over at Candi’s Blog reading about how she has a problem with going out to eat and her story really struck a chord with me. As you all know I’ve been struggling over the last 20 or so days and one thing I will say is that I’ve started going out to eat pretty regularly again. Surprisingly, I never really thought about “why” until today. To give you some perspective on how addicted I am to dining out, last year I spent roughly $8000 on dining out. That’s a little more than $150 each and every week. Last year was the first year my wife and I started tracking that information and the final number actually made me sick to my stomach.

For years I’ve been telling myself that taking my wife and kids out to eat was a great way to give my wife (stay-at-home mom) a break from her daily grind. After giving it some thought, I now believe that to just be an excuse to go out, the real reason is just a little bit less altruistic…

Like Candi, I was part of a single parent family that did not have much money. When I went to college it took me 6 years to get my engineering degree because I had to work nearly full time to pay my way through. When I got my first job, it was like hitting the lottery! As you can expect, Engineers make pretty good money and I was not prepared to handle my new salary. For 2 years my wife and I went on a spending spree buying anything and everything that represented the “status” of having money. I wanted to show the world that I was not poor even if it meant spending more than I made. We bought new “loaded” cars and clothes and expensive furniture. After the first year we moved to Greensboro NC and that just opened up the door to even more spending on a fancy apartment in a gated community, big screen TVs, trips, and yes, going out to all the restaurants the south has to offer.

Now fortunately for me, this story doesn’t end with me going bankrupt. After those first few years, my wife and I both realized that money and status weren’t really making us happy and instead we chose to start living a life within our means and stopped worrying about what everyone else thought. 3 years later we had paid off our debts and were in the process of starting our wonderful family.

So what does this all have to do with going out to eat you might ask? Well to be honest, living a life where you truly don’t care what others think is much easier to say than to do. I’m starting to believe that my dining out is still my way of showing my family, friends, and complete strangers, that I can afford to do so. I think it’s a status thing for me; why cook my own food when I can pay someone else to do it for me and my family. As I write this it sounds absolutely terrible to me, but at the same time it feels true.

There have been times when I have taken my family out to eat for every single meal through the weekend! I’m not exaggerating, we’ve done this multiple times. What’s amazing is that there have been times when nothing sounds appealing to go out for and so we just drive around until we come across a restaurant that we are “willing” to go into. Chinese? No, had that yesterday. Mexican? not really feeling it. Burgers? Well I guess so since nothing else sounds appealing. Does this sound like the behavior of a normal person?

Dining out should be a special event, not a normal way of life and if I’m not going for the food but rather to show people that “I can”, then what’s the point? What’s even more ironic is that you would expect that if I’m going out to eat all the time because of status that I would be going to only the “expensive” places. You would be wrong… with 3 kids in tow we actually end up at a lot of the “Kid Friendly” places that typically have mediocre food at reasonable prices. How’s that for status?

I don’t have the solution to my problem, this is one of those self-realization posts where you don’t really fix anything, you just realize you are doing something wrong. I’m open to any comments about this or if anyone has a similar experience I would love to hear about it.

Oh yeah, and thanks to Candi for getting me thinking about this! Go check out her blog HERE.

Day 60 - Weight Loss Results

Starting Weight – 330

Day 50 Weight – 316.8
Current Weight – 319.8

Period Weight Loss – +3 Pounds
Overall Weight Loss – 10.2 Pounds

10 more days and 3 more pounds gained.  It's strange, I'm really struggling, but I'm not really frustrated about it.  Being sick the week before didn't help matters, but I didn't have the same excuse this time, I just simply didn't eat well.

What Went Well

The only thing I can say is going well at the moment is that I'm hanging on and not completely blowing it.  Yes, I've gained weight over the last 2 weigh-ins, but believe me, it doesn't seem like that much compared to how I've felt.  There's a lot of stress in my life right now and I'm really just trying to keep the ship afloat.

Areas to Improve

The weather is finally getting better, I really need to be more active.  I also need to stop going out to eat, both for my health and for my wallet!  Fianlly, I need to get back to drinking water.  That should be an easy no-brainer way to help keep the weight off.

Moving Forward

No changes in daily calories or water consumption goal. No new adjustments to my plan, I just need to get back on it!

Goals for this week (Next 10 Days):

No weight goal for this next period, instead my goal is to get back at it and lose SOMETHING at the next weigh-in. Also, I need to start blogging a little more; I feel like I've lost a little of that momentum (afterall this weigh-in happened last Friday!) Wish me luck; Stay Strong!

Day 50 - Weight Loss Results

Starting Weight – 330

Day 40 Weight – 314.8

Current Weight – 316.8
Period Weight Loss – +2 Pounds

Overall Weight Loss – 13.2 Pounds


Clearly not a great week.  Not that I want to make excuses, but I've actually been quite sick for the last 10 days.  That's why I haven't been posting, and I knew that my results would not be good.  The good news is that as of this morning I'm finally starting to feel a little better and I am ready to get right back to it.

What Went Well

Despite being incredibly sick for most of the last 10 days, I did do surprisingly well with maintaining my diet.  On the worst days of my illness, I did succumb to eating some "comfort foods", but for the most part I really ate pretty well.

Areas to Improve

Obviously being sick, I didn't get any exercise in.  I made a conscious choice to try to get as much rest as possible so as to not stay sick for too long.  I also didn't do well with drinking water; though I drank plenty of Ginger Ale. 

Moving Forward

No changes in daily calories or water consumption (both seem to be working fine). No new adjustments to my plan.

Goals for this week (Next 10 Days):

I highly suspect that the 2 pounds I gained are really nothing more than water retention from being sick.  Because of that, I'm going to shoot for 6 pounds in the next 10 days. Wish me luck; Stay Strong!

Weight Loss Failure Analysis Using the “5-Why” Process

Things go wrong and failures happen.  This is part of life and will never change.  If you are embarking on a weight loss journey, you can expect to have failures all along the way.  In fact, I’m so sure this will happen that I’ve included “Expect to Fail” into my own weight loss plan.

I coach youth soccer in our community.  When we lose a game, I tell our kids that failure to meet our goals is an opportunity for improvement, but only if we learn from what went wrong.  At that point we have a discussion about what went wrong in the last game and then we focus our practice on improving those things that we identified.

Let me ask you a couple questions…Have you ever applied this philosophy in your weight loss?  How many times have you failed?  How many times have you learned from those failures?  This article is all about offering a simple tool that you can use to help identify the reasons behind a failure including a failure to lose weight.  The process is called the “5-Whys”

The 5 Why process is quite simple; you continue to ask yourself “Why?” over and over again until you get to the root of the problem.  It’s called the “5-Whys” because typically you can get to the root of most problems if you at least go through the process 5 times, but there is nothing magical about that number.  You simply keep asking why until you can’t ask it anymore.   

Now it might sound simple, but it can sometimes to be tough to do.  First of all, you sometime can have multiple answers or "roots" to a question.  When that happens you have to explore each root individually.  Also, it can sometimes be difficult to know when you really have reached the root cause simply because you can alway keep asking why.  Stop asking when the answer doesn't make sense or doesn't pertain to the problem you are trying to solve. 

The best way to illustrate this technique is with an example.  Fortunately for me, I fail quite a bit, so I figured I would use one of my recent failures as an example.  Below you find my 5-Why analysis, for my recent failure to lose any weight between my Day 20 and Day 30 Weigh-ins:

Failure To Be Analyzed - I didn’t lose any weight in the last 10 days

Why didn’t I lose any weight?

(Root 1) I went out to eat several times during the week and as a result went over my calorie limit significantly multiple times

          Why did I go out to eat?
          I went out to eat because I was stressed out from work

                     Why does stress trigger a need to go out to eat?

                     Because I don’t have a good/healthy way to deal with stress

                              Why don’t I have a good/healthy way to deal with stress?

                              Good Question (root cause #1)



(Root 2) I ended up cheating several times on the weekend including nachos and several desserts on Sunday

          Why did I cheat on the weekend?
          Because the SuperBowl was on

                    Why did the SuperBowl cause me to cheat?
                    Because the Superbowl is a special event

                             
                              Why do I cheat on special events

                              It gives me a good excuse to cheat

                                        Why do I need an excuse?
                                        Good Question (root cause #2)                         


(Root 3) I didn’t exercise at all

          Why didn’t I exercise
          Because I had a busy, stressfull week

                    Why does a busy, stressfull week keep me from exercising?

                    Because I can’t fit it into my schedule

                              Why can’t I find time to fit exercise into my schedule?
                              Because it takes me an hour every day (in my mind)

                                       Why does it have to take an hour every day?
                                       It doesn’t (root Cause #3)

 Based on this simple analysis, I was able to come up with 3 main causes for my failure:

1. I don’t have a good/healthy way to deal with stress, so when I’m stressed out I tend to use food to comfort me
2. I have a tendency to use special events or changes in my normal routine as a reason to be unhealthy
3. When it comes to exercise, I have an outdated view of what exercise looks like and that view is not conducive with my busy life

At this point, please note that doing the failure analysis helps you find the root cause(s) of you failure, but it doesn’t find the solutions.  I’m still trying to figure out a good/healthy way to deal with my stress.  However, sometimes just being aware of the causes can help you to be ready for them.  For instance, since I know that special events are a weakness for me, I might try to do something to prepare for the next one (one of my daughters has a birthday coming up).

I want to finish this post with just a few tips should you decide to try to do this type of analysis:

1. Don’t get hung up on coming up with exactly 5 whys.  The purpose of the 5 is to try to get you to dig deeper into the “surface” reasons.  Dig as far as you can go, but don’t overdo it
2. Don’t get stuck on the word “Why”.  Feel free to substitute “Who”, “What”, “Where”, and “When” into the questioning sentence
3. If you have multiple answers to a question, pick one and take it all the way through to the root cause before going back to a different answer.  Also be ready, sometimes multiple roots will take you to the same root cause
4. Focus on the process more than the final results.  The whole point of this process is to get you to really think through to possible causes of the failure.  I spent over an hour on the very simple analysis above and I had all sorts of other thoughts before I got to the roots above.

Have you ever performed an analysis like this before?  How about with weight loss?  Leave me a comment and let me know what you think.  Oh and by the way, if you have a solution for how I can deal with stress in a healthy way, I’d love to hear about it! Stay Strong!

 

[Photo: Flickr / Ksayer1]

Day 40 - Weight Loss Results

Starting Weight – 330

Day 30 Weight – 319.2

Current Weight – 314.8
Period Weight Loss – 4.4 Pounds

Overall Weight Loss – 15.2 Pounds

4.4 pounds... A great recovery from the previous 10 days!  Though 0.6 pounds short of my goal, I'm absolutely thrilled that I was able to turn it around from the last weigh-in.  I have always been haunted by letting one bad week turn into several so I was determined to not let that happen this week.

What Went Well

1. Great Job sticking to my plan (calories, water, and exercise)
2. Did well finding opportunities to get some exercise in.  While I was reloading my PC (see my last post), I would jump on the elliptical trainer while software was loading.  I ended up with 53 minutes of exercise instead of just sitting in front of a PC while software was installing.
3. I DID NOT SMOKE! Last weekend was my first big test in terms of smoking cigarettes.  My best friend came to visit for the first time since I quit and we went out to a friend's house for a poker game.  He's a smoker and the two of us tend to be enablers for each other's bad habits.  Not only did I refrain from smoking, but I was also reasonable with the amount of food and beer I had at the poker game.  Definitely a good sign that my habits are changing!

Areas to Improve

1. I still need to be more active.  I reached my exercise goal, but I'm still doing the bare minimum.  I want to get more exercise, but more importantly, I want to be more active every day.  I still feel like I'm not moving around as much as I should be; I'm hoping the weather will improve soon so I can get outside more.

Moving Forward

No changes in daily calories or water consumption (both seem to be working fine).  No new adjustments to my plan.  Goals for this week (Next 10 Days):

1. I'm going to shoot for another 5 pounds.  I'm beginning to discover that I do better when I challenge myself to goals that are very hard to hit.
2. I want to make a conscious effort to be considerably more active over the next 10 days.  This is going to be tough for me as I have a lot going on at work right now and I am expecting to put in some long hours at the office next week.

I hope you all are enjoying a good weigh-in as well.  Thanks for all the support.  Stay Strong!

I'm Down... But Not Out!

I just wanted to drop this post in to let everyone know that I'm still around.  Shortly after I posted my Day 30 Results, I discovered that my PC had contracted the dreaded "Google Redirect Virus".  If you have ever had this problem on your PC (which is not actually a virus), you know that it can be very difficult to remove and also has the potential to open your PC up to other more nasty exploits.

After multiple days of trying to fix this problem, I finally decided the best course of action was to wipe my hard drive completely and reload my PC.  Currently I have completed my backups and have formatted the hard drive; tonight I will begin the reload process.

So my PC is down, but I'm here to say I'm not out!  In fact I am excited to see the results of these last 10 days.  Even though I haven't posted it yet, I have completed my failure analysis that led up to my poor weigh-in last period.  I could probably be exercising a little more as this computer problem is eating up my time, but I have done extremely well with my diet, water, and my mental state as well.  The entire time I've been fighting my PC, I've been telling myself that it's not a reason to give in to temptation and so far I've managed to stay strong.  Even though I could probably be exercising more, I have managed to squeeze it in as much as possible.  This is something I've struggled with in the past; I'm used to abandoning exercise altogether when I get too busy.  I'm considering it a small victory that I managed to get something in. 

I really think I have a good chance of hitting my short term goal of 5 pounds.  I will be weighing in on Friday morning, which is actually 1 day early.  My daughter's birthday is this weekend and we have a lot going on so I thought it best to just weigh-in on Friday instead of Saturday.   

Once I get my PC back up and running (hopefully this weekend) I'll be back to blogging.  For now, I hope everyone enjoys their Valentine's Day.  Stay Strong!