The Final Straw

As I was staring down at a disgusting toilet in the local Walmart heaving the last remnants of my dinner, I came to the realization that I had finally hit bottom with my eating. Just 1 hour earlier my family and I were enjoying a fine meal at Olive Garden. “Appetizer?” Of course, let’s get the spinach and artichoke dip. “Salad and breadsticks?” You bet, I think I had 4 breadsticks and 2 bowls of salad before my entrée came out. Of course my entrée was one of the biggest items on the menu but that didn't matter. By the time I was done I was starting to get that sick feeling I get when I have eaten too much. By then it was too late. 10 minutes down the road and my stomach was rolling, I’m actually amazed I made it all the way into Walmart before I got sick.

“Why did I eat so much?” “How come I can’t stop?” “What’s wrong with me?” These questions were going through my mind as we rode home. I wish I could say that this hasn’t happened to me before, but it has. In fact, over the last few years this has happened to me several times. So what was different this time that made me feel like I hit a new low? Well for starters I sort of feel like anytime an addiction is causing you to pray to the porcelain gods you’re probably at a low point. But that’s not all. What made me really feel like I hit a new low was what had happened to me in the 7 days that led me to the Walmart moment.

On the previous weekend I had decided to get back to eating healthy. Before I could do that I felt like I needed one last big meal to kick it off (how many times have you had "the last supper?"). So I took the family out eat ... and then again ... and then again ... and then for lunch ... and then dinner again. Before I knew it, I had managed to go out to eat 10 times over the course of 7 days! In a week's time I had managed to add 5 pounds to my weight without much effort at all. What makes it even worse is that I didn’t really enjoy a single one of those meals, it was all about "getting ready". By mid week my brain was telling me to "enjoy it now" since the week was already shot.

So what’s this blog all about? Well, I’ve decided that I've had enough! I'm going to fight my demons and change my ways and I’m going to share my story through the entire process. Currently I weigh 297 pounds and I’m going to start the journey to 199. Through the process I’m going to share my successes and failures with all who want to see. Also I’m going to share my vast knowledge about being healthy. Over my lifetime I’ve spent countless hours researching this topic so I’ve got a lot to offer on different types of diets and exercise. Who better to give advice on weight loss than someone actually living it. I’ve always had the tools to lose the weight, but what I’ve always been missing was the understanding of mental side of the addiction. That’s what I’m going to have to learn if I want to be successful. So sit back and enjoy the ride. Ultimately I hope my story will inspire others to get control of their weight, but before that I need to inspire myself. Wish me luck.