No More Wasted Days

It ends today!  No more wasted days for me.  As I work to improve my health, first focusing on my mental state, then quitting smoking, and now starting to eat healthy and lose weight, I am starting to realize just how lazy I have become.

We moved to a new location in Virginia 2 months ago.  Since we've been here, I've managed to do nothing.  No pictures on the walls, no painting, no landscaping, nothing.  The problem is that for quite some time now I haven't felt like doing anything.  This isn't just at home either; I find myself doing the bare minimum at work (maybe even less) as well.

I know that I suffer from depression, and I know that I choose not to take any medication for it as I think our society has become too dependent on better living through chemistry.  I deal with it because it's part of who I am.  Besides, there's plenty of literature out there that suggests non-prescription means of dealing with depression can be just as effective.

I mentioned that we moved 2 months ago, but in reality I moved first in January.  I took a job that was 3.5 hours away from my old home.  During the week I stayed at a friend's house, then I would drive home to see the family on weekends.  On the positive side, it gave me a lot of time to listen to a lot of audio books, some of which helped me to start my transformation, but I did it for six months so it took quite a bit out of me.

I'm not sure what happened to me in those six months, but ultimately I just stopped doing anything.  During the week I would drink wine and watch TV every night; when I got home on the weekends I would just lounge around and hang out with the family while my depression grew. 

If you've ever been depressed, you know that it's hard to break the momentum of doing nothing.  Just like eating healthy or quitting smoking, you continue to say "tomorrow". 
Well for me, tomorrow is here.

Starting tomorrow I'm going to give the day everything I have.  No more laying around, no more half-assing it at work, no more wasting every day.  I'm done, I can't lay around anymore!

Maybe it's the changes I've gone through over the last year, maybe it's all those audio books about positive psychology and being present in the moment.  Maybe it's just because I've been eating really healthy for 2 weeks now.  Whatever the reason, I feel compelled to pick myself up and get moving.

I know that somewhere along the way I lost my purpose, both in my career and my personal life.  I know in my heart that the path to finding myself again starts with this focus on my health.  Wish me luck, I take another step tomorrow.