My oldest daughter does gymnastics. I really don't care for it; I have a hard time with any sport that has subjective scoring, to me there should be a clear winner not a winner based on a judge's opinion. Regardless, my daughter loves it and so I support her. All season I haven't been able to go to her sessions because it conflicts with my other 2 kids' basketball practices, but I promised her that I would come to at least one session. Today was that day that I kept my promise...
I have to admit I was quite impressed, not just with my daughter's progress but also at how fit the girls looked. You could see muscle tone on all of them. They were flipping and flying and I really couldn't help but be in awe at watching them do things I couldn't even come close to doing. It got me wondering where I went wrong...
When I was a kid I played sports almost year round. I played hockey in the winter (my favorite), then on to baseball in the late spring/summer, and finally football in the fall. Even when I wasn't playing sports we were outside running around, swimming in the summertime, and riding bikes everywhere. I was husky as a kid but not fat (at least that's what mom told me). I was also very muscular and strong!
What's interesting is that I can't quite put a finger on any defining moment that sent me on the path to morbid obesity. My parents divorced when I was a teenager. It was rough, but I don't recall turning to Frito Lay for support. Being forced to move to another state just before my senior year in high school was also hard, but I adapted quickly. Again I don't remember turning to food for support (though I remember eating a lot of fried tater tots when I went home alone after school). Going away to college (both times), dropping out (the first time), Moving to NY, Moving to NC (A big adjustment!), kids, new jobs; I really can't point to any one of those events and say "That's It!".
No my trip to where I am today has been a long steady journey. Sure there have been a few ups and downs along the way but it's really been a consistent ride toward an early grave.
What's so amazing is how easy it was to not see it. Yes, I knew I was overweight and needed to get in shape, but it never really seemed all that bad and I always viewed it as one of those "one time deals" where I would just focus really hard for a while and it would all get fixed. Again, I was strong and the weight would just melt off (and there's actually some truth to that as I tend to lose weight easily when I set my mind to it). There was time to do it; I just needed to make the decision (after this last trip to McDonalds). Well, it never happened and now I sit here at 42 and realize that all my free tokens are used up.
There is no more "optional" in my book. When I think of continuing on as I have in the past, all I can see is a life of misery and an old fat guy riding around in one of those scooters because he can't walk anymore. Not a pretty sight.
Maybe I should go watch my daughter do gymnastics more often! 53 Days down, on to Day 54.
Stay Strong!
Showing posts with label time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label time. Show all posts
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Day #44 - Birthday Girl
Today is one of my daughter's birthdays; she turned 10 today, a full decade old. Her age reminds me of just how quickly time can escape us...
My oldest daughter will be twelve this year. I can remember when I first found out my wife was pregnant. I remember thinking about how things would have to change because now I would have a family to worry about. I remember thinking about how I was going to change my way; quit smoking, lose weight, and get in shape. I remember how it was imperative that I succeed.
I remember 10 years ago when my second daughter was born. I remember how I felt guilty that I still hadn't lost weight. By then I had actually quit smoking and managed to stay quit for almost 5 years, but I was still far from healthy. When daughter #2 was born I decided that I was going to change my life and finally lose the weight.
When my third daughter was born 18 months later all bets were off. Life was incredibly crazy; we had just moved to NY a year earlier and I was depressed with living back up north. Everything was changing so quickly and it seemed like there was never any time to focus on healthy living...
That was about 9 years ago and here I am now still in the same boat. Over those years there were several attempts to get on track with varying degrees of short term success. All during that time I always thought I still had plenty of time to fix things before I got too old and then it would get much harder to do. In a blink of an eye I now find myself at 42, and yes, it's harder now.
For starters, age just plain slows you down. My metabolism is lower and I definitely feel the effects of carrying all the extra weight over the years. In addition to the effects of old age, it's harder now because I have even less time. When the kids were little you had to constantly keep an eye on them. I remember thinking that it would be easier when they got older, but now that they are there's soccer practice and gymnastics and battle of the books and on and on and on!
Yes it's my daughter's birthday today and that has me reflecting on my last 10 years. If I could have them back I would like to think I would do things differently, but I can't have them back so I have to accept myself for who I am right now. However, what I can do is ask myself this question..."When I turn 52 and my kids are all adults, will I look back over the last 10 years with regret, or will I remember 2015 as the year that I started to change?"
44 Days down and many more to go, but for now I'm just going to focus on Day 45.
Stay Strong!
My oldest daughter will be twelve this year. I can remember when I first found out my wife was pregnant. I remember thinking about how things would have to change because now I would have a family to worry about. I remember thinking about how I was going to change my way; quit smoking, lose weight, and get in shape. I remember how it was imperative that I succeed.
I remember 10 years ago when my second daughter was born. I remember how I felt guilty that I still hadn't lost weight. By then I had actually quit smoking and managed to stay quit for almost 5 years, but I was still far from healthy. When daughter #2 was born I decided that I was going to change my life and finally lose the weight.
When my third daughter was born 18 months later all bets were off. Life was incredibly crazy; we had just moved to NY a year earlier and I was depressed with living back up north. Everything was changing so quickly and it seemed like there was never any time to focus on healthy living...
That was about 9 years ago and here I am now still in the same boat. Over those years there were several attempts to get on track with varying degrees of short term success. All during that time I always thought I still had plenty of time to fix things before I got too old and then it would get much harder to do. In a blink of an eye I now find myself at 42, and yes, it's harder now.
For starters, age just plain slows you down. My metabolism is lower and I definitely feel the effects of carrying all the extra weight over the years. In addition to the effects of old age, it's harder now because I have even less time. When the kids were little you had to constantly keep an eye on them. I remember thinking that it would be easier when they got older, but now that they are there's soccer practice and gymnastics and battle of the books and on and on and on!
Yes it's my daughter's birthday today and that has me reflecting on my last 10 years. If I could have them back I would like to think I would do things differently, but I can't have them back so I have to accept myself for who I am right now. However, what I can do is ask myself this question..."When I turn 52 and my kids are all adults, will I look back over the last 10 years with regret, or will I remember 2015 as the year that I started to change?"
44 Days down and many more to go, but for now I'm just going to focus on Day 45.
Stay Strong!
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