I was crawling into bed getting ready for an early night when it dawned on me... I didn't post today. So here I am keeping the commitment I made to myself and spending 15 minutes to get a post out today.
Yesterday I said that I hoped today would be better. Well it was better, but not by much. I didn't eat very well or get my water in, but I did feel a little better mentally. It's become clear to me that I've got a lot more demons to work through than I originally thought. When I started I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I guess I never really put it into perspective... When you can't quit there's nothing left to do but deal with it.
It reminds me of when my oldest daughter was just a baby. Mom went out for a much needed night off. My daughter screamed her head off most of the evening. I changed her, I fed her, and then I sat there and held her while she continued to wail. I was frustrated and didn't know what to do and then it was at that moment that I realized all I could do was accept it. I couldn't quit, there was nothing left to do but sit there and take it. No problem to solve, no way to make it easier, just accept it for what it was and hang on until it got better (and of course eventually she stopped crying). It might sound strange but that was a defining moment in my life when I learned sometimes you have to be patient and just wait it out. Months later I completely re-defined my investment strategy with a more long term focus and it's performed all the better for it.
A little off topic there, but that's how I feel right now. Quitting this change to a healthy lifestyle is not an option so each day I'm trying to do my best and I just have to accept it. I'll face each demon head on (some of which I don't share on this blog) and I'll keep pushing forward. The days will eventually get better. People have endured much harder times than what I am going through right now. Today was better than yesterday, and hopefully tomorrow will be better than today.
I can't believe it's already been 25 days. On to Day #26.
Stay Strong!
I think you said it perfectly. As long as you don't quit, the days will eventually get better. I know for a fact we cant do this on a deadline. We are dealing with something that has taken us this long to even acknowledge, and it's going to take a long time to fix. I won't be skinny tomorrow and stay skinny (I speak from experience) . Long term success does come for long term work in this arena. Each day being better than the one before is good, but more good days than bad is ok too.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! Excellent post.
ReplyDeleteFD, thanks for sharing that story about your daughter. Puts my day today into a better perspective. Here's to even better days ahead!
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