I spent a good part of today asking myself if I really have changed. Other than quitting smoking 2 months ago I haven't really made any progress with improving my health. I'm sure some of you would say that's enough, but lately it feel more like I'm using that one bit of progress as a crutch.
The one thing it feels like I'm missing is consistency. I do well eating but not so good exercising, then I'll start walking each day but I end up going out to eat more at lunchtime. On and off it seems to go with no signs of more "good" days than bad. It's almost like each change gives me an excuse to do poorly in another area. That's not true change.
This week has been a great example of more excuses. I haven't eaten all that great this week, but my rationale is that I'm working hard each day and getting lots of exercise. Since I don't want to do too much at once it becomes OK for me to eat poorly because my physical activity has increased. Sounds crazy doesn't it? It's like that whack-a-mole game; you hit one and another pops up.
I'm starting to think that my commitment to change is moving too slowly. I don't want to overdo it and burn out with unsustainable change, but right now I think I've gone to the extreme in the other direction, almost to the point of not moving forward at all.
As my vacation comes to a close I still have more to ponder about my progress. I think it might be time to step it up just a little bit. On to Day #69.
Stay Strong!
Hi. I found you from Richard's blog. Congrats on not smoking anymore.
ReplyDeleteDo you keep a food or exercise journal?
I ask because sometimes people will think they did better or worse but once it's on paper, it's clear to see really what's what.
I used to track all sorts of stuff, but it never really did anything for me and I could never stick to it long term.
DeleteFD I can relate so much to what you are saying. This is my past behavior, I would focus on anything but my weight goal. I was conscious of slipping away but it didn't mater, tomorrow, I'll go back on tracks. So many tomorrow when I would get a project at work that would end and it was a time to celebrate, get wine, get the wrong food, no problem, tomorrow would be next... or a project would be changed and I was depress and get wine, get the wrong food, no problem, tomorrow would be next...You know what I mean!
ReplyDeleteLook at your self in the mirror, really look all the way to your soul, if you like what you see, you will never change and it's great, but if you really NEED to change... you already know how to do it, take control do not let any thing else be in your way. To be really good to yourself, for now, it's to refuse all your want and previous behavior. You can do it!
Richard you hit the nail right on the head! Clearly you understand this cycle I've found myself stuck in for a very long time. Thanks for your comment.
DeleteI used to have this tie where if I exercised, I ate PERFECTLY because I didn't want my effort to be wasted. For a long time, I thought this was a bad thing because if I missed a workout I was off the rails. I worked hard to break that tie, but that was a mistake. I have since learned that a few days off the rails when I miss a workout occasionally isn't as damaging as being stuck in a situation where I can't seep to keep my food together but I exercise consistently.
ReplyDeleteI broke that tie for myself by telling myself that these things were independently important. I think I'm going to work on tying them back together because I have a harder time with food choices than I do with exercise (I rarely miss it.) And I will tell you that your food counts for between 75-90% of what you see in the mirror, so it's definitely the one I need to hammer at.
I agree it's like whack-a-mole, and we constantly try to cheat things here and there for ourselves, but we're only cheating ourselves overall. It's very frustrating, so I hear you!
I need to also keep everything independent. Success in one area is not an excuse to fail in another.
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