Day #56 - The Time Has Come

I'm now 56 days into this journey.  I've done well and I've had setbacks.  I've managed to stay completely 100% smoke free for every one of those days.  The alcohol, well not quite as well, but I'm still trying.  I've posted on this blog every single day; something I thought wasn't all that important but has turned out to be highly therapeutic for me.  As for eating... well let's just say that I'm hanging on trying not to gain weight and go above 349 (my highest weight ever).

These first 55 days have also been about finding the mental fortitude.  I've spent a lot of time focusing on how I feel.  I've worked at shedding the guilt and learning to forgive myself for not being perfect.  I've also learned a few things... I've learned that although I can lean on others for support, I cannot rely on it nor can I blame others for not providing it (just because you need someone to support you, it doesn't mean they are capable of it when you need it).  I've also learned how to cool a hot temptation by distraction.  I've also created 2 visions of my future self; I've spent some time picturing myself 10 years from now if I don't change my ways and if I do.  When I have those hot temptations I try to pause and picture myself as the guy who didn't change.  Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

Anyway, from the outside one would never know how much change I've gone through in 55 days.  Even my wife doesn't really see it, but I do, and that's really what matters.  It all stems from one simple commitment to make my health my number one priority for 1 year and to do it one day at a time.

So now I've started to crawl and I'm ready to take my first step walking.  I'm pulling all three of my goals together and putting complete focus on meeting them.  Just a quick recap of my goals:

1. Quit Smoking - Complete
2. Quit Drinking Alcohol - Work in Progress
3. Lose 100 Pounds - Not yet Started

To be honest, I feel like I'm a little behind for reaching all my goals.  I really didn't anticipate the mental part of this journey taking so long to work through and I truly thought that quitting drinking would be a piece of cake. 

This morning I got on the scale...

347.8 lbs

 

This is essentially where I started on January 5th.  That's actually OK with me.  I lost a little bit of weight in the beginning but I knew it would be hard to sustain while not smoking.  Smoking is a stimulant and most people gain weight as your metabolism slows a little when you stop smoking.

 

I briefly thought about changing my last goal to just getting under 300 this year.  100 pounds is probably not too realistic, but 47.8 pounds in the next 10 months is very reasonable.  However, If I change my goal, I will be doing what I've always done... I will be selling myself short before I even begin.

 

No, I'm keeping my goals as they are.  If I don't make it then I don't make it, but at least I'll give it my best effort.

 

So as of today, I'll be focusing on all three of my goals at the same time.  As I've mentioned in previous posts, I'm going to start by just focusing on eating only healthy food and following a carb cycle regime.  No calorie counting and no exercise commitment yet (though I will try to move a little more).  Still no smoking and still no alcohol.  It won't be easy, but as always I'll just take it one day at a time.  Here we go...

 

Stay Strong!