Day #3 - Why Not?

I woke this morning convinced that it would not be a good day.  For starters I had a hard time going to sleep last night.  Despite feeling exhausted and going to bed early, I just tossed and turned and when I woke I felt like I had gotten very little sleep.  As I rolled out of bed, my second cue for a bad day showed itself; my left knee was swollen and it was hard to walk around.  I told myself “no way I’m going to be able to exercise today!” and I was OK with it.

However, as I was riding to work in the morning, I began to question a decision that I made 5 hours before I really needed to.  Why not exercise today?  I made it to my car didn’t I?  I made it into work, why can’t I exercise?  As I worked through the process I came to the realization that my knee hurting was just a convenient excuse to not exercise. 

I decided to go to the mall again.  I set out to do as much as I could at whatever pace I could do with my sore knee.  I completed 2 laps (about 1.5 miles).  Half as much as the day before, but 1.5 miles more than I originally planned; I was thrilled that I did it.

As I was walking I started to think about all the other “why not” moments I’ve had lately:

• I can’t quit smoking AND lose weight at the same time… Why Not?
• I can’t go to the mall to walk… Why Not?
• I can’t survive on 1800 calories each day… Why Not?
• I can’t Quit Smoking, Quit Drinking, Lose Weight and still be happy… WHY NOT?

When I look back at other failed attempts at improving my health I see a lot of excuses for why I couldn’t do something.  In order for me to stay committed, I need to keep asking myself “Why Not?”

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Another pretty good day.  I stayed on my eating plan with the exception of having a second cup of coffee after lunch (in the hopes that it would help me get through the day).  Today was a hig carb day so I got to enjoy some fruit and didn’t feel as hungry as usual.  I also drank my requisite gallon of water and as I mentioned above I walked about 1.5 miles.

I also hit a milestone today… it takes 3 days for you to flush the nicotine out of your system.  As of today my body is nicotine free!  I still feel like crap from the withdrawal, and I’m not getting anything done at work, but I’m hanging strong and I know that eventually I will start to feel better.  Day 3 is in the books… On to Day 4!

Day #2 - A tough realization and a dose of reality

I never really thought of myself as one of those extremely overweight people.  I’ve been big my whole life but I always managed to be able to do the things I wanted; my weight didn’t really slow me down.  I remember when biggest loser came on and I made a comment to my wife about how big those contestants were.  She turned and said to me (not in a mean way) “you’re almost as big as they are!”  It was kind of surprising to hear that… I never really saw myself as morbidly obese.  It might sound weird but I always just considered myself a little overweight and I always believed I carried my weight well.

As I look back now I realize that it was more about me lying to myself so I wouldn’t have to admit that I had a problem.  I refused to accept that I couldn’t lose weight, I refused to accept that my eating was out of control.  I was only slightly overweight and all I needed was about 6 months of hard work to pull myself into shape.  I could do it anytime because I had the mental fortitude to take on such a task and I was physically strong so I could keep my metabolism revved and lose the weight quickly.

I think I started to accept reality when I turned 40 (2 years ago).  At close to 350 pounds I was morbidly obese.  I could be any one of those contestants on “The Biggest Loser”.  Over the last couple years I haven’t been able to do all the things I want.  I’ve withdrawn more and more from life as I spend a lot of time hanging out on the couch watching TV.  There have been some times in this past 2 years where I simply gave up and stopped trying to lose weight and stopped monitoring my progress.

This is my new reality… I could literally lose 150 pounds and still be at a healthy weight.  My skin will never go all the way back.  I don’t “carry” my weight well and there’s nothing special about me that makes me any better off than others of my size.  I am morbidly obese!

Day 2 really had me thinking about just how big I am and how poor of shape I am in.  I had another great day with my eating plan and with drinking water.  Knowing that not smoking is taking a lot out of me I know that it would be extremely difficult to find the strength to exercise at the end of the day, so again today I went for a walk during my lunch hour.  It snowed last night so walking outside wasn’t going to work, so I drove over to the mall and walked there.

It was a little uncomfortable for me to walk at the mall, but It was my only option.  I walked 4 full laps around the mall which ended up being almost 3 miles in about 50 minutes!  I’m proud that I walked again today even though it is what is reminding me about just how out of shape I am.  After just 3 miles of walking my knees hurt, my back hurt, and my feet hurt.  By the time I got back to my vehicle I could feel my fingers beginning to swell a little (not sure why).

By the time I got back to work I was beginning to feel stiff and sore everywhere… all from just a 3 mile walk at lunchtime.  Indeed I still have a long way to go!  Another plus, I was smoke free again today.  All in all it was pretty good day.  As predicted I was too wiped out when I got home to do anymore exercise so I’m glad I got it in during the day.  I had to cook dinner so I made fajitas for the kids and then a fajita salad for me since I can’t have carbs today.  Tomorrow is my first high carb day and I’m excited to have some fruit!  2 days in the books and 358 more to go!

-Stay Strong!